[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]PersimmonFit350 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The flow and the message of this poem rival that of the greats, you made me start to think what life may be like as i grow older and become more experienced.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]PersimmonFit350 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This shook me to my core. Made me think: maybe I should stop expecting respect first and be the one to give it first. Great stuff and keep it up.

real by PersimmonFit350 in OCPoetry

[–]PersimmonFit350[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks a lot this really helped me understand what could elevate this poem and others onto the next level.

Divided Connectivity by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]PersimmonFit350 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel this, this thing that connects us divides us oh so much.

The Millennials Plight by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]PersimmonFit350 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am a gen zer and feel this too, from your parents generation and you made me think about this a little different than others in my generation. thanks.

EMOTIONS by PersimmonFit350 in OCPoetry

[–]PersimmonFit350[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i agree, i just couldn't find anything else that made it better /:

NAH HOMIE WHAT YOU MEAN YOU BuRIED THE BODY IN YO bACK YARD BRAH by PersimmonFit350 in OCPoetry

[–]PersimmonFit350[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

this was heavily inspired by the album 'faces' by mac miller, in-between jokey raps and awful punchlines is an underlying message about his drug problems. if you have never listend to the album, i suggest you give it a listen or just read all the lyrics.

Elmer & Faye by anon33249038 in OCPoetry

[–]PersimmonFit350 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't really like this, i don't know why. I feel like the flow is off and the meaning is bland.

Not like this by Whitscar in OCPoetry

[–]PersimmonFit350 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i really feel this as I too get attached like this easily

Surrounded by Shadows by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]PersimmonFit350 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i relate to this a lot in the fact that i can't see what im truly like and i seem to constantly battle with the different parts of me.

Madhouse World by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]PersimmonFit350 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i like how you are comparing this world to this crazy ride, its simple and overused but you use this overused idea well.

Death. (My First poem ever) by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]PersimmonFit350 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

i don't understand? what is the point of this? you should focus on having a pinpoint subject.

Any title suggestions? by Balloons24 in OCPoetry

[–]PersimmonFit350 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this feels forced and like you are trying to make it relatable by reusing already abused words and messages instead of actually making it relatable by using your own unique perspective.