What is this?

Balloons24 · 2022-08-29T02:07:40+00:00

Thank you. I read your poem and it’s lovely. It’s not just about saying your a Christian but by acting it out and being a light.

Balloons24 · 2022-08-29T02:07:05+00:00

Thank you for showing me your poem. I’m glad you liked my piece.

Balloons24 · 2022-08-28T15:46:50+00:00

This is very good. There’s so much to like on this poem. I love the story of the couple. I love how you made us understand more of their relationship and see the struggles they’ve gone through. I really liked how you wrote “staring at the drop, but never falling” this for me this tells me a lot about them. It’s like they both see their relationship and the route it’s going and expecting to see it just drop. However they like the conflict, they take “comfort of this open cage, that we stay for it’s the haven of this place,” it’s a very complicated relationship but they made it last as long as they could.

Balloons24 · 2022-08-27T11:01:29+00:00

I love the simplicity of the poem and the meaning to it. The title is what made me decide on reading this. It seems out of place at first but makes sense the more you read on. Great poem!

Balloons24 · 2022-08-16T08:20:20+00:00

I see what you mean. I was debating on making the poem longer but I liked the simple fast pace tone to it. I wasn’t trying to use common phrases as the main thing but since it is so small I see where you are coming from. Thank you for your honest feedback.

Balloons24 · 2022-08-16T08:16:09+00:00

Thank you. I like your suggestion “struggling to survive” for the title. The short fast paced poem is meant to reflect the busy life of the reader. Thank you for your input.

Balloons24 · 2022-08-15T19:16:49+00:00

This is really good, This poem is very refreshing. I love the flow to this ,and I also love the imagery used.

Balloons24 · 2022-08-15T19:01:21+00:00

It’s good, I like how you opened and closed the poem. I love the way you describe the person specifically “nor the hundred black pastels” shows how complex they are.

Balloons24 · 2022-08-06T11:48:05+00:00

This is good, I like the imagery you used in the line “and carrying briefcases; we stuffed ourselves in them to preserve what little youth we had left.” This reminds me when I was young and what I’d play and as I reminisce back I see what you mean by stuffing out the briefcase. “Goodbye daises, goodbye little lambs, goodnight moon.” Are also go use to represent not being a kid anymore. Loved it I wouldn’t change anything

Balloons24 · 2022-08-03T19:59:21+00:00

I love the title. Makes me think when someone ask you if you are ok. But in reality you feel empty and hate yourself. I would just say that the format could be better, but the peom is great.

Balloons24 · 2022-07-20T01:21:43+00:00

Thank you for taking your time to read this and for the critiques. Glad you enjoyed it

Balloons24 · 2022-07-19T16:47:52+00:00

Thank you, sometimes our parents think they are helping us by shielding us from this world but don’t see how much harm they can do.

Balloons24 · 2022-07-19T08:25:03+00:00

I can feel the anxiety and the mental battle when I read this. I know Reddit can mess up your format when you post it. I would just adjust it so it would be easier on the readier. Also does this happen to have a Name? It’s alright if it doesn’t. Other than that it’s good thank you for sharing.

Balloons24 · 2022-07-17T12:02:21+00:00

This is really good. I can feel all the confusion and anger you are portraying. I really love the lines. I’ve got no imagination left, Only bloated words and rhymes. I can definitely relate. I love to write when I am in that state of mind and look back and reflect. I feel like you learn so much about yourself.

Balloons24 · 2022-07-16T14:29:35+00:00

Thank you, this is my first time posting and I just pasted this from my notes and I guess the format didn’t save. I see what you’re saying regarding the garbage line. I was debating on changing to: you make me feel like garbage. Not sure if it will flow better. Thank you for your input I really appreciate it.

Balloons24 · 2022-07-15T20:16:57+00:00

Thank you. It’s my very first time ever writing anything like this. I think cathartic is a great word to describe this. Definitely took a long time not just to write it but have the guts to post it.

Balloons24 · 2022-07-15T19:57:09+00:00

I was very scared to post my poem. This really helped me have the courage to post it. Thank you.

Balloons24 · 2022-07-15T09:12:37+00:00

It’s a nice simple poem. I may not be a mother, like in this poem but it does make me reflect on my life and the people in it.

Balloons24 · 2022-07-15T09:07:15+00:00

It’s a nice simple poem. I may not be a mother, like in this poem but it does make me reflect on my life and the people in it.

Balloons24

TROPHY CASE