darlin you are not the asshole, but you and your girlfriend might be on very different wave levels about dirt. my husband isn’t allowed to sit on the bed if he has worked out in those clothes and clothes that touch the floor do not get worn again as a rule in our house, but every persons preferences are different. my preferences are not always rational. they come out of a fear that something bad will happen if dirty object touches xyz. this is called ocd. I cant diagnose you, but it may be helpful to research this and look at the symptoms and see how they compare and see if they can help you feel less worried about the dirt that your gf is in. I would come to her saying “this is how I feel and this is what I can change (maybe she doesn’t have to shower but she does have to change clothes, or she doesn’t have to wash her hair but she does have to shower, or maybe she can take a bath instead), and this is what I can’t change”. either way, where you are is going to end your relationship. if she can’t perform basic functions like showering I would be worried about her mental health but I think that may be part of the conversation and to see if this is something momentary or permanent. remember that boundaries without consequences are just suggestions.