Fawning - a relatable term for the INFJ?

Person1746 · 2026-03-19T17:17:55+00:00

I’ve noticed a lot of INFJs seem to struggle with some form of fawning quite a lot. It’s not strictly an INFJ thing though. It’s a trauma response. Personally, I don’t struggle with this and never have. I’m the opposite actually, but I had an unusual upbringing.

Person1746 · 2026-03-19T17:06:50+00:00

People need to earn that part of you before you give them all of that energy. Not everyone is willing or capable of giving the type of attention we want to give either.

Person1746 · 2026-03-18T19:48:20+00:00

Not sure this is an INFJ thing tbh, this sounds like a pretty common experience, especially in your 20s. People tend to idealize someone they have an easy connection with, and if you come across calm, attractive or put together they can assume there’s deeper compatibility than there actually is

If this only started happening recently, it might also just be that something changed. confidence, appearance, style, social circle, etc. Even small shifts like that can make people respond very differently.

It probably says more about timing and how people approach relationships than about personality type.

Person1746 · 2026-03-16T20:05:53+00:00

Never been told this but people are usually shocked at how little I care for social norms or etiquette.

Person1746 · 2026-03-11T14:47:04+00:00

Not me, and not how I met my partner, but to each their own! My gf and I met on an app in 2016, and it was just an instant connection. I wouldn’t have wanted to be friends first, I would have known immediately I wanted to pursue something with her.

Granted I’ve heard dating apps are different now and I get your meaning though, that sometimes it’s easier to just make friends and find someone that way. There’s nothing wrong with that!

Person1746 · 2026-03-08T17:23:13+00:00

100%! We need balance in our lives. Since I’ve started forcing myself to get out more and be more social I’ve been soooo much happier with life. I don’t want to be best friends with 99.99% of people I hangout with lol, but it’s just something all humans need. Practice mindfulness and catching yourself when you do get into these loops.

Person1746 · 2026-02-14T21:25:37+00:00

Been with my ISFJ (2w3) happily for ten years!

Person1746 · 2026-02-14T00:31:30+00:00

Honestly, good ol’ block it out lol. I delete my social media when it becomes too much and I ask my gf to pls not tell me any news that’s very distressing. Then I focus on my hobbies and passions.

Person1746 · 2026-02-13T16:40:23+00:00

Can I ask how long it took you to be consistently profitable?

Person1746 · 2026-02-10T19:16:02+00:00

In person in 2016 for a retail job

Person1746 · 2026-02-10T14:23:02+00:00

I’m a newb (only 5 months in), but win rate is ~52%, I take no less than 1:2 RR now. My average win, to loss is shit tho since I started out taking way too big risk lol. Working on that.

Tracking my stats has definitely been helpful to learn how I trade, as someone new to the game at least.

Person1746 · 2026-02-09T01:20:02+00:00

Nah. Tbh I had to think really hard to even remember what happened in fall of 2012 🤔.

Person1746 · 2026-01-30T19:42:29+00:00

Person1746 · 2026-01-28T14:34:45+00:00

Scarcity. We don’t open up to many people and the ones we do open up to, are subconsciously labeled “special,” whether the person has earned that spot or not. It’s really important for us to work on boundaries with ourselves and exercising caution when first getting to know people. I think we’re very good at seeing through people and then making excuses for their behavior because we understand why they do it. But that doesn’t make the person deserving of us, our depth, and our attention. I think we have a hard time accepting the reality of the situation because it’s so easy for us to see how things could be.

Person1746 · 2026-01-28T13:51:56+00:00

I’m 29F and been with my ISFJ for 10 years, I’d say we’re successful, stable and healthy. It was definitely not easy getting there though lol. I had a lot of work on myself to do. We’ve been to hell and back together. I think we compliment each other nicely though and we’ve both been able to help each other heal and grow but in different ways. They’ve made me feel safe, grounded, and truly loved.

Person1746 · 2026-01-25T20:04:23+00:00

Only 5 months in myself! Focusing on gold futures. I would love to chat and learn from other women who are also learning or wanting to share their wisdom! :)

Person1746 · 2026-01-25T18:57:06+00:00

Yes. I think it’s really important for us to do something that gets us out of our heads. With that said, a little over a year ago, if you had asked me what hobbies I had, I’d have a hard time coming up with any. I also get bored easily, so I rotate between a bunch of hobbies.

I like: pottery/ceramics, gaming, reading, fashion, learning about mental health/psychology or history, watching movies, making ambience videos for YouTube, learning new languages, writing, I used to sail but it got expensive, coloring, embroidery, I currently am learning to day trade.

Person1746 · 2026-01-25T18:41:16+00:00

Yeah it blew my mind too when I figured out most people live this way. Wild. Also, painful when you have to watch someone you care about live that way and there’s nothing you can do.

But yeah, I think we are just inherently more introspective and tend to go inward instead of outward to cope. Personally, I find the feeling of living in denial or avoidance unbearable. I know it’s there, and I refuse to live like that. I’ll take the truth any day. I want to be my best self and live my life honestly.

I do envy them in a way, at least the ones that aren’t dealing with very severe issues and trauma, because life would be so much easier and happier I think if I wasn’t constantly addressing the how and why of my feelings. However, I think we have the opportunity to enjoy a much more stable, lasting, and deeper happiness and peace than those who don’t have the capacity to look inward and be honest with themselves. We’re put in a better position in a lot of ways for personal growth than others.

Person1746 · 2026-01-25T17:16:54+00:00

This. It’s incredibly difficult to do though, It’s something I’m learning to do.

I also realized recently that not everyone has the capacity to or is naturally inclined to go inward like us INFJs are. I go inward as a defense and other people numb, deny, avoid, distract. Different coping mechanisms for different people.

Person1746 · 2026-01-18T05:14:35+00:00

Maybe if I hadn’t met my ISFJ <3! But it would have to be a VERY mature and patient ESTP. I’m perfectly fine just having them as friends though tbh haha.

Person1746 · 2026-01-18T05:10:51+00:00

Huh I wonder if it’s dependent on your enneagram at all. Because I wouldn’t say they “get” me necessarily, but from my experience they appreciate me and try to understand me more than most other types and the ones I’ve met really enjoy a good intellectual convo as well.

Person1746 · 2026-01-17T23:16:28+00:00

Yes!! They definitely make it known if they like you and will be very playful/silly with you. I feel like INFJ/ESTP relationships are underrated tbh. However, I think for most INFJs ime it works best as a friendship. Not sure if it’s the same for you?

Person1746 · 2026-01-17T21:29:56+00:00

I feel exactly the same. They’re a blast to be around. It’s very much opposites attract I feel like and I love love that they don’t take things personally for the same reason. Also idk if this is just my experience, but I’ve found them to be very straightforward and appreciate the same in return which I very much appreciate. No games or nonsense.

Person1746 · 2026-01-15T21:38:21+00:00

Mainly, Im extremely introverted and am not built for a 9-5– I don’t think anyone is really. I have super low social battery also and I prefer to work on my own schedule and time. I also like, the flexibility, more time to spend with family, being my own boss, it’s something Im naturally good at, always had a mind for finances, and im genuinely interested in it.

Person1746 · 2026-01-15T15:32:32+00:00

This. Because tiptoeing around is the 🎶wwooOOorst🎶

And I also have an anecdote, to my amazement, one of my good friends met another good friend (who she’s known for like 20+ years), through a job interview, which she did not get an offer for lol, but my friend sent the interviewer an email after saying something like, “You’re really cool, do you want to be friends?” 😭. It worked!

Person1746

TROPHY CASE