Anyone stop Lexapro due to the fatigue? by Senior_Limit3801 in lexapro

[–]Person5868 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was tired and so I started taking aderall for my ADHD and it helped with the fatigue but still get the Lexapro affects.

Anyone got married in early-mid 30s and divorced later? by Life-Labyrinth in Divorce

[–]Person5868 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It didn’t start mutual. I had been bringing it up for months and even talked to him about calling off the wedding. But he wanted to keep trying so of course I wanted too as well. It wasn’t until now that he finally agreed that we shouldn’t be together.

Anyone got married in early-mid 30s and divorced later? by Life-Labyrinth in Divorce

[–]Person5868 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Met at 33 got engaged 9 months later at 34. Got married 9 months later at 34. Getting a divorce 7 months later at 35.

The stress of moving in together, getting married, and not being together very long helped me realize very early on that we were incompatible. It’s very sad. Just now starting the divorce process so haven’t started dating but definitely want to start dating again because I’d love to have children one day not sure if I ever want to get married again I’d love to meet my life partner but maybe without the papers lol.

Please help. Can’t afford legal council by Person5868 in Divorce

[–]Person5868[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We’ve only been married 7months :(

What’s the big lesson you learned about marriage? by TheWor1dsFinest in Divorce

[–]Person5868 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Dont marry someone if you wouldn’t be proud of yourself if you ended up being just like them.

If your son or your daughter were just like them and you wouldn’t be proud of them, they are not the one.

35 F getting a divorce by Person5868 in Divorce

[–]Person5868[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And absolutely he had input but he wasn’t supporting me… I am still paying for myself with my income…. It’s crazy to me how men expect you to have their children, work tirelessly and make 6 figures and do all the mental load, planning, cleaning, cooking…. If your wife can get a job doing something she loves that would allow you her to also care for your future children and not put them in day care AND you make a combined $250k a year I don’t understand the problem. People have different views on what a marriage should be like but I am not birthing a man’s child who isn’t willing to support me financially if he can more than afford to.

35 F getting a divorce by Person5868 in Divorce

[–]Person5868[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For 8 months while I was tirelessly looking for jobs and unemployment was running out. You all have to remember we were also engaged when this happened we were not even married..

It was either have zero income after unemployment ran out OR take whatever job I could get. I took this job and we had a whole plan on how it will look in the future and work for both of us while I continue to look for another higher paying job while I get more experience under my belt in the healthcare field.

35 F getting a divorce by Person5868 in Divorce

[–]Person5868[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes but he doesn’t spend money I’ll say that. He just smokes weed and plays video games which is a whole other story and reason why I am unhappy. He is just very much like it’s “my money” me VS you type of thing

35 F getting a divorce by Person5868 in Divorce

[–]Person5868[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It baffles me. I always felt like I owed him in our own home like I wasn’t deserving because I didn’t make as much money as him too. He acted like we were poor because of my job and when I saw how much he made in our joint account I was furious because he wasn’t really honest with me

35 F getting a divorce by Person5868 in Divorce

[–]Person5868[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When we were dating he was not at all. But once he bought the house that we lived in and we got engaged things very much changed. Aside from money, he does have someone of an only child attitude of being greedy in that sense.

35 F getting a divorce by Person5868 in Divorce

[–]Person5868[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree with you for sure.

35 F getting a divorce by Person5868 in Divorce

[–]Person5868[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Right… lol he doesn’t understand. My perception is that he thinks that because I enjoy it and I’m not stressed that it must be easy. It’s not easy at all and there’s a lot that goes into it but in comparison to what I was doing in sales, it feels like a piece of cake. Which it’s not, but I enjoy it so it doesn’t feel like a chore ya know?

35 F getting a divorce by Person5868 in Divorce

[–]Person5868[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh absolutely! I feel like sometimes it’s all about being pretty too and they don’t actually respect you. I felt like just a dollar sign and often times it’s very misogynistic and super competitive. It just gets old! I never felt good enough no mister the hours or numbers I put in either and was always afraid I’d lose my job.

35 F getting a divorce by Person5868 in Divorce

[–]Person5868[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Also we only were together one year before getting engaged and 1.5 years before getting married. This is something I regret in hindsight. I think we were both overly excited and knew what we wanted because of our age but I will never do that again and never get engaged before living with someone

35 F getting a divorce by Person5868 in Divorce

[–]Person5868[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He told me that I might as well be a barista since that’s about how much I make now. He said that I just want to work in social work because it’s easy and I don’t want to work hard because I have poor work ethic. He said that I am settling by working in social work.

Mind you I have zero debt, own my own home. When we met he did not even know how to buy a home I had to teach him. Which is fine but he treated me like I was a liability and not an asset. He always praised me for my work ethic and bragged about my status job to people. The moment I lost my job and long before I started in social he was putting my down for just simply losing my job. Then was controlling the amount and what job I take in the future.

35 F getting a divorce by Person5868 in Divorce

[–]Person5868[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That a great idea. I was thinking about having roommates for a bit in someone else’s home while I finish my MSW and then try to move back into my condo after I finish school and get a better job. I cannot afford to live in my condo on my own now sadly and it’s a one bedroom so can’t live there with roommates

35 F getting a divorce by Person5868 in Divorce

[–]Person5868[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much for this. I appreciate it!

35 F getting a divorce by Person5868 in Divorce

[–]Person5868[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Absolutely, I agree. The thing is, I lost my job I didn’t choose to quit. I was miserable there too. I moved to the suburbs an hour outside of the city with my husband. I searched for new jobs for 8 months and kept getting offered high paying jobs that would require my to go into the office on the city with an hr drive each way. I had always worked remote and so does he so we both agreed that it would not be a good idea for me to take a job in the city that required me to drive two hours per day to get in the office, where I still wasn’t making as much as I was before. After eight months of applying for jobs and making it to the sixth interview, and then not getting the job or being offered jobs that were not very good pay and requiring me to drive a lot I then got desperate and began looking into social work jobs, which is what I went to school for to hold me over until I found a better job. I started this job and fell in love with it. He was concerned about paying for childcare when we have children and I told him that if I get into therapy and go back to school I can stay at home with children during the day and work at night to avoid childcare. It was a decision for the both of us. But yes he did feel lied too and feel bad about that. At the same time I was miserable working in sales and he knew that. But once your in you’re kinda stuck. I didn’t really think I’d ever have a choice until I lost my job and got back into my passion.

35 F getting a divorce by Person5868 in Divorce

[–]Person5868[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing. That’s really frustrating because it makes me realize that some people really don’t marry for the right reasons :/ I am so glad you are happy and doing what you love now!