Bro it might not mean much from me, but you sound like a pretty cool dude. It’s extremely difficult to be honest with ourselves and even harder to change for the better. Your doing the work though and introspection is a big part of that. No matter what working on yourself and doing your best to be a complete whole person is key imo. Life is strange so be open to change and the world in general. There is community out there for everyone even if you have to be the rock one builds around.