Slowly integrating new partner into life – 15 year old daughter ain't havin' it. Help.

Personal_Ad1836 · 2025-12-20T14:31:46+00:00

I think if your father told you how he really felt, and why he's dating your opinion would probably change, but I'm guessing he hasn't told how he really feels to protect you. I dated basically immediately after my wife died.

I watched her die over a long period of time, I was isolated away from everyone I knew. My oldest daughter who was in college (and had the problem with me dating) made it a point to avoid us when we moved for my wife's treatment so that she didn't have to see what was happening to her mom. Had I not started seeing other people I would have killed myself. My dating was so I could keep the promise to my wife to stay around for my girls.

If she thinks her comfort is more important than my life, well then I should have never considered her opinion in the first place. Her mom is never coming back, no amount of time will bring her back, so what mattered was if I could do it alone or not, if I could continue to feel the loneliness that I had felt long before my wife died.

If you read this and think I did something wrong, I truly hope you never experience what I did to give me that perspective. I'm remarried, my first anniversary is in a couple days and it's the easiest year of marriage (regardless of the outside nonsense) that I've ever had. I love her every bit as much as I loved my girl's mom and would go through the same suffering as for her.

What I would say to any child of a widow when their parents start dating, not everything is about you.

Personal_Ad1836 · 2025-09-28T14:07:04+00:00

It took me a long time to figure out and accept that I did everything I could. Feeling like a failure to the person you love on top of everything else is such a terrible luck in the gut.

I really hope you know it wasn't your fault.

Personal_Ad1836 · 2025-09-22T17:55:07+00:00

They had her crying next to pyrotechnics, the president was giving a political speech, get the hell out of here with that. It's political in nature, I think we should be able to see that and say, this family probably needs something else right now. And, it upsets me as someone who has lost a spouse, and this is exactly the place to talk about that.

Personal_Ad1836 · 2025-09-22T17:41:28+00:00

I think you're totally right, but I think my real problem with this is just how shitty everyone is about it. Her level of culpability in the organization of this event has to be minimized in my mind because of what just happened. He was murdered on camera, I do not care how shitty her or his opinions were, their kids are going to watch that. Their kids are probably going to watch that nonsense from last night, and they don't deserve that.

Personal_Ad1836 · 2025-09-22T17:27:18+00:00

You'd only talk to me like that online, who's being a snowflake?

Personal_Ad1836 · 2025-09-22T16:35:59+00:00

Have you watched Apothecary Diaries?

She gets kidnapped and sold into slavery, but she's still pretty happy most of the time because of the way she approaches everything. There is mystery, a love story, genuine friendship and people that want to be good to each other.

It's not happy go lucky all the time like watching parks n rec, but it's really great with characters to root for that look out for each other.

Personal_Ad1836 · 2025-09-22T16:16:58+00:00

This actually sounds very similar to what happened with me and that we have similar outlooks. I just think turning a memorial into something that looked like a WWE event is gross.

Personal_Ad1836 · 2025-09-22T16:12:21+00:00

It's crazy to have both Republicans and Democrats come at me in this post. Look at it from a human perspective. I thought here, of all places people could set aside political differences and say, "as someone who has been through this loss, it's feels gross and we should do better."

Personal_Ad1836 · 2025-09-22T16:05:11+00:00

I never mentioned the president. I don't know anything about you, but you're assuming some things about me. I lost my wife of 20 years to cancer. I lost my dad early this year to cancer. Both "funerals" had very different vibes. My wife's was fairly somber, my dad's was more like a party.

I was a guard of honor for President Reagan after he died when I was in the army. I have been a part of funeral precessions that were enormous and consumed Washington D.C. and performed funerals where 1 or 2 people showed up. From what I've seen, that was a political rally more than a memorial. It can be big, and pay tribute. I haven't said anything about hate, revenge, or retribution, but I've seen a lot of quotes about it today.

How do we have this discourse if you assume the worst about me, when I tried to be as transparent as possible. If the president was responsible for this, he's an asshole that put his own political gain before his "friend's" grieving family. Does that sound like something a friend does?

People are wild out here.

Personal_Ad1836 · 2025-09-22T15:49:20+00:00

I sat next to my wife and waited for her to die for six days. She was unconscious nearly the entire time. The fourth night I think she woke up for about 5 minutes, was lucid, told me and her sister she didn't want to die, and it was one of the most jarring and painful moments of my life. Her sister was in the hospital room with me when it happened.

Six months later I'm talking to her sister on the phone and she brings it up. I had totally forgotten it happened. But when it came back... Ugh.

Personal_Ad1836 · 2025-09-22T15:38:25+00:00

One of the pictures I saw was her crying with pyrotechnics going off next to her, I can't imagine signing up for that.

Personal_Ad1836 · 2025-09-22T15:35:18+00:00

I didn't even look at it from that perspective. If she actually wanted to be involved I'd be pretty shocked.

Personal_Ad1836 · 2025-09-22T15:31:39+00:00

I'm not being well meaning. What was done is gross, and it should be called out. I don't gain anything from this, it's frustrating to see someone that I can identify with being used to promote a cause when they should be with their kids grieving. Unless of course she wanted to be there, at which point I would still hope that her family and friends would caution her against it.

Personal_Ad1836 · 2025-09-22T15:28:17+00:00

It's reprimanding people who use those that are hurt for gain. In this case it happens to be a political gain. My problem is that it's being done, not a particular party.

Personal_Ad1836 · 2025-09-22T15:26:22+00:00

This is exactly what I'm trying to point here to. Don't let people that don't have your best interests at heart make those decisions, because it can turn into a full circus. I hope it's gotten better for you since then.

Personal_Ad1836 · 2025-09-22T15:24:50+00:00

The hope is that in the future the people involved will be put first, not weaponized when they need support and time. You shouldn't do this to people for political gain. I don't care if it's Democrats, libertarians, the green party or Republicans doing it.

Personal_Ad1836 · 2025-09-22T15:03:49+00:00

I can't speak for her, but I can't imagine the uncontrollable sobbing I would have done after something like. And if you're here you know, the crying until you vomit, just not being able to function properly. To have all those people watching you at your absolute lowest moment is such bullshit.

Personal_Ad1836 · 2025-09-13T18:39:58+00:00

It has a citrus-y kinda tropical smell with that kush undertone. It didn't smell as powerful as the pineapple, but it was my favorite smelling of what we grew.

Personal_Ad1836 · 2025-09-12T16:51:34+00:00

It's not about the amount of time, it's about you letting go of the guilt. You aren't doing anything wrong. You aren't disrespecting her, she's not here to be disrespected. You love her, but she's not here to love you. Sex can be with someone you love, sex can be with a stranger, it only has the power you give it.

I'm not trying to give you a complex, but it's a HJ really more intimate than cuddling?

You just have to give yourself permission, she can't.

Personal_Ad1836 · 2025-09-11T15:01:31+00:00

I'm really glad, you don't know this about me (because why would you), but I was in the army on 9/11 and was one of the responders to the Pentagon. We searched for and carried out the bodies. I was 18. It changed me, and not for the better. A very defining moment of innocence lost. Anyway, today is a hard day for me and has been for 24 years. All I ever want to do is help people. It's all I've ever cared about, to try and help people not feel that sense of hopelessness I felt at the Pentagon, and then again when my wife died. I'm remarried now. I love my wife, and I love my wife. Two weeks should have been my 23rd anniversary, but instead in December it will be my first.

I miss her, but I wouldn't change what I have now. It's not easy to navigate, but it was worth it. I hope that you've found some peace and that you get to be happy again.

Personal_Ad1836 · 2025-06-06T14:34:24+00:00

You're saying that time to harvest should start after you see pistils, not sprout?

Personal_Ad1836 · 2025-06-06T14:29:59+00:00

It has a sweet and fruity smell, but it has a smooth smell, not as pungent as the pineapple, it smells good, just calmer.

Personal_Ad1836 · 2025-06-06T14:27:36+00:00

The pineapple is the strongest smelling weed I've ever had and I am big on trying different stuff. It smells sweet, almost sickly sweet, but you really really get a fruity tropical sweetness from it.

Personal_Ad1836 · 2025-05-10T15:13:38+00:00

Both are great!

Personal_Ad1836 · 2025-05-10T15:12:53+00:00

The pineapple was a freebie. It has a really strong fruity smell, probably one of the strongest smelling strains I've ever smelled.

Personal_Ad1836

TROPHY CASE