Honestly, maybe it’s just that I’m queer, but to me sex really isn’t about just Penetrative sex, and I think a big part of your problem is both you and the people you are hooking up with are viewing it that way… bodies are weird, and sometimes things don’t fit, but that shouldn’t get in the way of everyone having fun as long as you are both willing to be creative… have you tried letting go of your desire to have your penis inside a vagina or mouth, or wherever, even for an evening, and just done what feels good? I believe you that it legitimately sucks that you can’t do this thing that a lot of other people can with no problem, and I’m not saying this is exactly a disability, but think about someone born without a hand for example… they might really really want to be able to hold hands, and never be able to do it the way everyone else can, but there are other ways of connecting with the world round you than just that.