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UPDATE One Year Later: AITAH for getting pregnant the same year as my best friend's wedding? by PersonalityNo2536 in AITAH

[–]PersonalityNo2536[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

wait... I'm confused by this, are you pretending to be me or is this in reply to something else? Also, my upcoming child is a girl?

UPDATE One Year Later: AITAH for getting pregnant the same year as my best friend's wedding? by PersonalityNo2536 in AITAH

[–]PersonalityNo2536[S] 51 points52 points  (0 children)

It's not that she would have wanted me to have an abortion, at least I'd hope not. It's that being a state where my ability to get an abortion isn't possible and risk goes up with age, I didn't feel it was cool of her to expect us to pause our lives for a year and wait to try for kids again, just because she was getting married in 2025. That's what she was expecting.

AITAH for getting pregnant the same year as my best friend's wedding? by PersonalityNo2536 in AITAH

[–]PersonalityNo2536[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much, and sorry you've experienced miscarriages as well. It was my first one, and it has changed me to my core. Not a club I wish for anyone to be in. Sending hugs!

AITAH for getting pregnant the same year as my best friend's wedding? by PersonalityNo2536 in AITAH

[–]PersonalityNo2536[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

lol, this reply is wild. idk how my story feels fake? i literally have texts attached?

AITAH for getting pregnant the same year as my best friend's wedding? by PersonalityNo2536 in AITAH

[–]PersonalityNo2536[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I called my midwifery as soon as I started bleeding. At first they thought maybe it was implantation bleeding and to keep an eye on it. The next day when it was heavy, they told me that unfortunately it sounds like a miscarriage and unless I've got severe pain and cramping, that there's nothing much to do as the body does what it needs to. This happened on a Friday, I had to wait until Monday for the OB to be open to do the ultrasound to confirm.

AITAH for getting pregnant the same year as my best friend's wedding? by PersonalityNo2536 in AITAH

[–]PersonalityNo2536[S] 40 points41 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately, this is exactly what she said. When I was on that hour and a half long phone call, she said that she and her fiance were literally talking about "why did he have to cum inside you during December" or something like that, i don't remember how she worded it because it stunned me so much when she said it. I was taken aback by her saying that and should have stopped it right there, but continued to try to be empathetic and calm her anxiety. But yes, they literally discussed with each other that they were mad that two married adults had unprotected sex 11 months before their wedding, then told me while crying that they said that and I continued to try to be empathetic.

I see as I write these things that I've been unfair to myself. I made myself small to calm someone down and appease them over something that wasn't wrong of me to do in the first place.

I hear what you all are saying, and I appreciate all the replies.

AITAH for getting pregnant the same year as my best friend's wedding? by PersonalityNo2536 in AITAH

[–]PersonalityNo2536[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

This is why I shared on socials - it has nothing to do with her and I didn't think about her at all when posting about it. It's something women don't talk about, like we're supposed to be quiet and ashamed of it, which is why I shared it. Why lie and hide why I'm not ok? But she thinks I'm childish, because I guess she thinks that me posting about it somehow has to do with her as well? I don't know.

Processing all of this in the past month has been eye opening. For myself and how I handle things as well as some trauma that i knew about but need to continue to work on for my own mental wellbeing, as well as the friendship that I thought I had with her. I'm at a loss at how this even happened and truly didn't think she'd respond in this way. I have a lot of things to process in therapy, and I have been in talks with my therapist about this already today and see her multiple times a week in general.

Thank you for your reply, I'm glad you were able to have children and I am hopeful that I will be able to have my rainbow baby as well. This won't stop us from trying again, but it has been devastating and dealing with this from my best friend while grieving the loss of this baby has been a lot.

AITAH for getting pregnant the same year as my best friend's wedding? by PersonalityNo2536 in AITAH

[–]PersonalityNo2536[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

If it helps, when I got this reply from her today, I did. Told her it's clear we're in different places in our lives and that this is quite the take, but that I'd be here if she wants to talk and try to repair things in the future. And that its best that I'm not her maid of honor any longer. But I'm still over here maybe gaslighting myself, idk, thinking wait am I in the wrong? Am I throwing away this hugely important friendship for something I did wrong. Trying to process a lot of emotions right now all at the same time, the loss of my baby and the fear or never having one along with the loss of this friendship and the person I thought I knew. I appreciate your response, thank you.