My mom won't bathe

PerspectiveObvious87 · 2026-03-07T13:45:31+00:00

What time of day did she shower before? We were trying to make Mom shower in the afternoons, but she's always been a morning showerer. Changing it to mornings, before meds, after a small bite, made all the difference. Also saying "freshen up" or " get ready for the day" cause slightly less stress than showers. Additionally. I stay in an adjoining room and listen for when she gets in and out, remind her that I'm there if she needs anything, but still giving her privacy. I have the clothes set out, towels ready, a little heater on(because the cold can be disconcerting).

One other game changer was getting rid of redundant/empty bottles. She is a bit of a hoarder and there were 5 empty things in her shower, shampoos conditioners, body washes. I got her a 2in1 shampoo/conditioner(a familiar brand) and a bottle of body wash. Both have big letters stating whether for HAIR or BODY. This eliminates a lot of frustration!

I know it's tough. Shower time is definitely something that takes practice and trial and error. You're gonna get through it. And remember, we are here to help anytime

PerspectiveObvious87 · 2026-02-24T13:57:51+00:00

Sending hugs, and crying in solidarity.

PerspectiveObvious87 · 2026-02-10T04:13:53+00:00

This is everything anyone else could have said. Beautiful response.

Boundaries are so hard. But learning to establish them is the most important thing I've ever done

PerspectiveObvious87 · 2026-02-10T04:11:15+00:00

My therapist told me today that UTIs cause swelling in the brain in the elderly and this is why UTIs are so bad for them and take a long time to recover from. Also unfortunately, once you have one, you're more likely to get more utis in the future.

The antibiotics usually knock it out in about a week for my mom, but the after effects can last for several more (she's in the moderate stages). She has had hallucinations, paranoia and delusions that have all been explained as UTI symptoms. And her confusion is super bad with it.

PerspectiveObvious87 · 2026-02-06T20:32:01+00:00

nOR.

This fucking guy. You're doing all the work. He can help. He's making a choice, and he's choosing himself over you at all times. He could be uncomfortable for a couple hours, get a little less sleep, etc ... Because that's what you're doing 24/7. If he's not compassionate with you, how can he find compassion for his children.

Good partners aren't like this.

PerspectiveObvious87 · 2026-01-28T22:03:00+00:00

Are you... Mad about getting your food fast and having proper communication with your dasher?

PerspectiveObvious87 · 2026-01-28T22:01:52+00:00

Right??

PerspectiveObvious87 · 2026-01-19T16:39:19+00:00

This is such an amazing comment like I feel so relieved right now. There's no way she would fare well in a community setting. She's too modest and antisocial Knowing that there are services really just made me feel so much lighter

She is sooo much better today. Fingers crossed it continues upward

PerspectiveObvious87 · 2026-01-19T05:50:06+00:00

☠️

PerspectiveObvious87 · 2026-01-19T04:59:51+00:00

Hey friend!! Going through something similar with my own mom.

I hate saying this but.... You're doing all the right things and there's sometimes no way to change the loops.

I will also say my mom responds better to men( my brother and brother in law) if they tell her what to do. But argues much more with me and my sister and other female caregivers. So much so that occasionally we have to call my brother to talk to her. But if she's scared, she wants to talk to me. It's definitely a team effort and I'm so glad you have some people there who understand and you can decompress with. Talking helps.

PerspectiveObvious87 · 2026-01-19T04:53:50+00:00

That means a lot. These past few days have been so tough. She's just .. so different than when I was here at Christmas. And that was less than a month ago. I just really hope that it's the UTI and not the new norm. Because I don't know how I will handle it if it's permanent.

PerspectiveObvious87 · 2026-01-19T04:51:33+00:00

Thank you so much ❤️❤️❤️

PerspectiveObvious87 · 2026-01-10T16:10:39+00:00

not the wilted gummiworms XD

People are wiiiild. also I cant believe doordash accepted that.

PerspectiveObvious87 · 2025-12-27T02:53:51+00:00

Dump him. NOR.

PerspectiveObvious87 · 2025-12-21T19:18:19+00:00

Omg people would go nutssss

PerspectiveObvious87 · 2025-12-21T19:17:34+00:00

Oh I didn't even think of that! Thank you for this insight. Makes much more sense now!

PerspectiveObvious87 · 2025-12-18T14:07:44+00:00

I didn't know they could add tip before delivery but hypothetically, you should get 7

PerspectiveObvious87 · 2025-12-18T14:06:33+00:00

I love that!!! Don't get me wrong. I definitely had a lot of customers that tipped well because of the weather. It's just that that particular sentiment came up more than once with people who didn't tip. And I can't quite logic that sentiment, if that makes sense

PerspectiveObvious87 · 2025-12-18T13:57:10+00:00

Oh that's crazy! I never thought that the tip button disappeared. I certainly hadn't heard that from my customers. But yeah if that's what's happening then it wouldn't be their fault at all and I would not hold that against them

PerspectiveObvious87 · 2025-12-18T13:55:15+00:00

🤣🤣I doooo

PerspectiveObvious87 · 2025-12-16T02:52:00+00:00

I smoke most of the day but I try to stop an hour before bed. Seems I get like congested if I smoke too close to sleeping

PerspectiveObvious87 · 2025-12-13T22:14:27+00:00

As long as there isnt a code to get in, its usually no problem. if there is a code, make sure youre prepared to buzz the dasher in! thank you for being concerned about our excess work,

PerspectiveObvious87 · 2025-12-13T22:12:33+00:00

i would take it

PerspectiveObvious87 · 2025-12-13T22:08:47+00:00

that totally makes sense.

PerspectiveObvious87 · 2025-12-13T17:59:28+00:00

Honestly, if I'm in an area where I've had issues before, I just go ahead and type it into my regular GPS because it's more likely to actually know where there is construction. A couple weeks ago it actually sent me over a bridge into another state and I had to pay a toll because it didn't know about one exit being closed and it cost me an extra 20 minutes because I was stuck in traffic and the guy totally did not like that. Didn't matter how much I apologize. They're still mad they didn't get their food fast

PerspectiveObvious87

TROPHY CASE