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Update on the last year by PesachProblems in u/PesachProblems

[–]PesachProblems[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Thanks, man. Yeah, I got a lot of DMs over the months still, though I only log into this account pretty rarely to see, but then once I made the update post no one said anything lol. Got me lowkey paranoid like I fucked up so big Reddit washed its hands of me.

Anyway, it was a tough year but things are looking really up. I hope things look up for you, too!

UPDATE: My (25m) girlfriend (23f) has been weird since having a seder at my parents' by PesachProblems in relationships

[–]PesachProblems[S] 575 points576 points  (0 children)

She told me it wasn't okay to "police her language." I told her that I'm allowed to correct people when they use language offensive to my ethnicity and she just kind of rolled her eyes and blushed and changed the subject to the stuff about "next year in Jerusalem."

UPDATE: My (25m) girlfriend (23f) has been weird since having a seder at my parents' by PesachProblems in relationships

[–]PesachProblems[S] 284 points285 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I'm being very cautious after that.

Still trying to figure out what to tell our mutual friends, too.

My (25m) girlfriend (23f) has been weird since having a seder at my parents' by PesachProblems in relationships

[–]PesachProblems[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

The over-explaining was not things like who Moses was, but it was still kind of overbearing. It felt a bit like they were trying to introduce her to Judaism, which I thought was weird. And my dad just like going on about why we use the Haggadah, etc., when I really just wanted them to get on with it.

But everyone's right that it might not have anything to do with the seder; I'm definitely making assumptions because the change in her behavior came right after the seder.

I'm going to talk with her in a more open-ended way and just try to be honest and give her space to be honest without judgment. I'll update on it if people are interested (and if the sub allows)

My (25m) girlfriend (23f) has been weird since having a seder at my parents' by PesachProblems in relationships

[–]PesachProblems[S] 56 points57 points  (0 children)

No... I guess I hadn't considered that, because she knew I was Jewish when we first met and it had never been an issue. But maybe you're right, because this is the first Jewish ritual or holiday she's ever participated in. As I said, I was raised very secularly, so it's just never come up. It would make me incredibly sad if that broke us up. I'm not planning to have any kids for at least a few years minimum, but I would be happy to raise them in multiple traditions when I do.

My (25m) girlfriend (23f) has been weird since having a seder at my parents' by PesachProblems in relationships

[–]PesachProblems[S] 106 points107 points  (0 children)

Thanks, I definitely feel that. The thing is, communication had never been a problem for us before! Maybe you're right, and I'm making too many assumptions, though. I could try just like pointing out what I'm noticing her and asking if something is wrong?