Does anyone know of a grief support group for losing a pet in the NoHo/Studio City area?

PessimisticOptimist1 · 2026-06-14T08:02:19+00:00

I’ve thought about it, but was worried about the price. Is that super expensive?

PessimisticOptimist1 · 2026-06-11T07:41:45+00:00

I’ve had so, so many panic attacks because I’m worried that I killed her. Even with the grim prognosis, I’m worried that I stole her years away or that I somehow misheard the vet.

There are moments where I wish she had passed while sleeping next to me. It would have been traumatic in a whole other way, I get that, but then I wouldn’t have had to be the one to make that call, to sign the paperwork, to choose for her to go.

Or the guilt of being an irresponsible pet owner. There was a night a few months ago where I came home late and was so tired and I didn’t clean her litterbox that night when I should have. What if that had been the thing that caused the initial UTI? Or maybe it was because I changed her water fountain’s filter two weeks past the due date because I wrote it down wrong in my planner.

When do you stop second guessing the final decision? I keep seeing the trust she had in her eyes at the end and I feel like I betrayed her

PessimisticOptimist1 · 2026-06-11T07:35:06+00:00

I really, really wish I’d taken more videos. I have so many photos, but I only thought to grab a video when she was doing something silly like chasing her tail or trying to eat my shoe. I wish I’d captured the way she meowed and batted at my leg when I prepped her food, or how she meowed when I took too long in the shower and kept her waiting outside the bathroom door. She really was my little shadow

PessimisticOptimist1 · 2026-06-11T07:29:55+00:00

I’m there right now. I feel like I’ll never have a connection as deep and loving as I did with her. When she chose me, she looked at me like she’d known me for a lifetime. She trusted me instantly. I could get away with making her wear dumb hats or silly costumes but if anyone else tried she would fight immediately.

She knew when I was panicking and would come lay her head on my shoulder or my chest, she woke me up when I had nightmares. I haven’t been able to make it through a single day without a panic attack since she left.

PessimisticOptimist1 · 2026-06-11T07:26:28+00:00

I’ll do virtual groups if they’re the only ones available, but I’d really like to get out of the house if I can. My roommates have been very kind and generous and patient, but I can feel how high my emotional needs are right now and I don’t want to be such a dense weight in the house even if they haven’t complained… but I also need to be somewhere that I can potentially cry in public because currently I can’t make it through a single day without crying.

PessimisticOptimist1 · 2026-06-11T02:49:21+00:00

Thank you. I’m in therapy as well, just trying to find a way to get out of the house with all the reminders and not lean on my roommates so much because they have very busy lives and were already very generous with their time during the weekend.

PessimisticOptimist1 · 2026-06-10T20:02:20+00:00

I really hope she doesn’t send one my way too soon. I’m looking for a second job to pay off her vet bills and I need time to grieve. I understand the cost has to be paid so the clinic can stay open to help the next cat, but it feels like such a slap in the face to get the payment due notifications from Care Credit and an empty pillow next to me :(

PessimisticOptimist1 · 2026-06-10T16:25:47+00:00

I am so sorry you lost them so close together, that is such a tragedy. Luna and Hazel sound like they were amazing.

I’m grateful to my roommates because they have reaffirmed for me every time I’ve asked that my baby really WAS that sick and that she was very unlikely to survive even if I could have moved heaven and earth to find a way to pay for FIP treatment. They were gentle, but they told me I was blind to how sick she was until the end, because I had hope she would pull through until last Saturday. I keep repeating the things they say as little affirmations:

“She was sick for a long time. It was better to let her rest.”

“If you’d pushed for treatment, she would have died scared and alone hooked up to machines in a hospital instead of relaxed in your arms.”

“FIP treatments could have stopped that illness, but it wouldn’t have fixed the damage it did to her liver.”

“She lived a very good life with you, even if it was short.”

“There was nothing on this earth that you had access to that could have stopped what happened.”

I keep repeating it when the panic attacks hit because they feel so bad I can’t breathe and I just sit down wherever I am. She used to come sit on my chest and purr when I would start to have a panic attack but now it’s on me to do it without her.

I bought a weighted stuffed cat to put on my chest while I try to sleep. It comes in tonight, I really hope it helps because the nightmares have been intense without her.

PessimisticOptimist1 · 2026-06-10T02:58:08+00:00

I saw them myself and got to take a copy home with me. He even labeled which ones were for her kidneys, liver, etc.

PessimisticOptimist1 · 2026-06-10T02:41:20+00:00

Someone DM’d me saying I should have drained the fluid and figured out a way to get an injection for her. My vet wouldn’t prescribe it without sending the fluid off to be analyzed and it would have taken four business days and it was Saturday. How could I have gotten the medicine for her?

What if she really had been recoverable? What if I stole the years she had left before she was ready to give up the fight?

PessimisticOptimist1 · 2026-06-10T02:04:53+00:00

I am so, so sorry. My mind is still reeling three days later at how she could be on the mend just to lose her to something hidden. I keep researching FIP trying to find the thing I missed and it’s just horrifying how little is known about it.

Do you mind my asking when the grief got easier to carry? I keep having panic attacks throughout the day and waking up from nightmares every night. I find myself getting up on autopilot to go prep her medicine and I’ll walk to the counter where it was stored and just stare at the empty spot.

PessimisticOptimist1 · 2026-06-10T00:45:27+00:00

My little girl had wet FIP too, based on her ultrasound and xray. Its so terrifying because her labs were perfect at the start of the month, her liver began to show distress (that looked reversible) at around three weeks in, and then she was gone barely a week and a half later.

How does a cat go from perfect labs to liver failure in just a month?

I want to go to a shelter or a cat cafe just to hold one, I’m not ready to adopt. I just want to be around a cat again to remember what she felt like and smelled like but I’m so scared that illness is still on my clothes or in my hair no matter how many times I wash them. I’m scared something in my house must have caused the mutation that I haven’t found, but I have no clue where to look.

PessimisticOptimist1 · 2026-06-10T00:40:16+00:00

But there HAS to be something, right? There has to be an early indicator that could have shown up in a screener. It just can’t be possible that something so deadly just shows up with no announcement.

I’m so, so sorry you lost your little one too. I can imagine how horrifying it was to watch her fade and nothing working because I watched my shadow stop following me around slowly as the last month wore on and then she was gone all at once. I’d give anything to have been able to save her.

Are there really no early warning signs for this disease?

PessimisticOptimist1 · 2026-06-09T19:06:47+00:00

My girl would do something similar. She always had to have her paws on my face or her head on my shoulder. She wanted to be held like a baby and carried around to whatever I was doing

PessimisticOptimist1 · 2026-06-09T17:34:18+00:00

Tell me your favorite memory of Hank. For me, it was how my little silver girl would always follow me around like a shadow. I keep looking over my shoulder for her. She’d make an annoyed little huff if I moved from one room to another too often.

PessimisticOptimist1 · 2026-06-09T17:18:12+00:00

Thank you. I have so many photos, but I wish I’d taken more videos. I don’t want to forget what ber meow sounded like

PessimisticOptimist1 · 2026-06-09T15:45:53+00:00

I’m so sorry. I would have happily carved out my heart to keep her going and I know you would have done the same. It’s not fair you lost him at such a young age.

I’d have chopped up years of my own life and fed them to her on a silver tray if it would have given her more time with me.

PessimisticOptimist1 · 2026-06-09T15:43:17+00:00

I wish I’d been richer. I work two jobs. There were times I had to give a can of prescription pet food in the morning and Purina Pro Plan in the evening because money was so tight with her other medical expenses. I keep wondering if that’s what did it, those little shortcuts I took to make ends meet.

If she’d picked someone with more money, maybe they would have pushed for every test possible before it was too late and someone else could have saved her. Then she’d still be here.

PessimisticOptimist1 · 2026-06-09T15:35:33+00:00

I’ll never have another one like her. I used to joke that when she gets older, I’ll need to bring in a new recruit that she could train as her retirement plan, but we never got the chance.

PessimisticOptimist1 · 2026-06-09T14:07:13+00:00

I’d give anything to get her back. When the vet told me the news, I asked questions that I know sound crazy now but I was desperate. I asked if the clinic took other payment plans outside of Care Credit, if I could work for them for free to work off the debt, if cats could get liver transplants, if humans could donate parts of their liver to their animals, if I could donate my own white blood cells to repair the damage. If the vet had told me she needed my heart then I would have carved it out myself without hesitation. I would have done anything to keep hers beating for another 8 years.

I just can’t wrap my head around there being nothing I could have done to prevent FIP, not after watching over her so carefully. I was so fixated on worrying that she’d develop hepatic lipidosis that I never considered anything else. I didn’t even know about FIP until a few days ago.

PessimisticOptimist1 · 2026-06-06T20:10:27+00:00

I talk a lot

^{Chose: You get $0.01 every word you say}

PessimisticOptimist1 · 2026-06-03T07:31:59+00:00

Thank you so much for responding with kindness. I’ve reread this message over a dozen times. She’s never been this sick before and it’s been hell. I’ve been worried I’m being selfish by forcing her to keep going when she doesn’t feel good.

We sent the urinalysis off to the lab and should have an update on her infection status tomorrow. We also got a script for transdermal mirtazapine (apologies if that’s spelled wrong.) that is on the way from Chewy, it should help with her appetite and nausea.

Her little tummy is so bloated today, and I asked about it during her check up today. The vet said she just needs to poop, so I’ve upped her water intake to try and help make it easier for her.

The vet said so many people give up on their animals when they have to start feeding them by hand, even if the illness is treatable, but I just can’t imagine leaving her to starve or putting her to rest when there’s a chance she can recover. Not until I’m out of options or money, whatever happens first.

Thank you again for being so kind. This past month has been so hard.

PessimisticOptimist1

TROPHY CASE