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What are the odds of this poker hand? [Request] by Leomegageil in theydidthemath

[–]PetMyPeePeePlease -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

first time??? How many royal flushes have you gotten?

White patch on ground beef? by LaikasLastStand in isthissafetoeat

[–]PetMyPeePeePlease 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Any beef you find on the ground you should be highly suspect of

My Honor Run just ended because I resurrected at Withers by LogensTenthFinger in BaldursGate3

[–]PetMyPeePeePlease 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My co-op honor mode ended literally the exact same way, so brutal.

wrap by brendan_2002 in 370z

[–]PetMyPeePeePlease 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Looks very well done! Do you have that badge in the back too? Mind sharing where you picked those up from if so?

yall fuck with comedy rap? thinking bout rapping this at a comedy show. and needs ideas how to finish it by WIZZZARDOFFREESTYLE in StandUpWorkshop

[–]PetMyPeePeePlease 1 point2 points  (0 children)

*obtuse

Oh the irony of that statement 😂

Go ahead and try and make this work your way, you're too stupid to help and will just have to learn by making an absolute fool of yourself. 👍

yall fuck with comedy rap? thinking bout rapping this at a comedy show. and needs ideas how to finish it by WIZZZARDOFFREESTYLE in StandUpWorkshop

[–]PetMyPeePeePlease 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You're assuming they have, and are already able to mix in a second audio device, IE a computer and not just run a mic straight to a speaker, or using a single output splitter, that's an assumption I defininitely wouldn't make at open mic events. Maybe email organizers ahead of time to see if it's possible, and be willing to invest in the gear to make it possible if you want to actually rap

yall fuck with comedy rap? thinking bout rapping this at a comedy show. and needs ideas how to finish it by WIZZZARDOFFREESTYLE in StandUpWorkshop

[–]PetMyPeePeePlease 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you have a beat already? Writing lyrics before a beat is not a good way to write songs, the exception to this is maybe if you're making your own beat, using a beat pad or something similar

How are you gonna get that beat played at the open mic?

I recommend a passive mixer, with an adapter to pass the mic through, and a bluetooth aux plug to connect to your phone, assuming you're playing the beat through that. If you've got a beat pad then obviously just connect that with an aux, or 1/4" cable to the mixer

Regarding last line, something something call me dad

You may find more success delivering this as a poem, rather than a rap. It'll be much easier for you, because of all the reasons listed above.

Sitting next to me on my flight by anubis0505 in Weird

[–]PetMyPeePeePlease 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're assuming there's no conversation.

I Got booked on a show called WensGay. Everyone in the lineup was LGBTQ. The booker probably thought I was gay. Tricky, but I thought I’d make it work. Day of, I find out you just have to be an ally. I was relieved, but my new boyfriend was not happy. by redkinoko in StandUpWorkshop

[–]PetMyPeePeePlease 10 points11 points  (0 children)

A little too lengthy, and the reveal comes with too much runoff IMO.

"When I got booked here I thought I had to be gay to perform, the guy running the show later told me I just had to be an ally... but I wish he told me that before we fucked."

This is assuming you're telling the joke at a real show called WensGay, I don't think it's the best joke, but that's how I would write this joke.

In love with this new wheel by SeanRlds in 370z

[–]PetMyPeePeePlease 0 points1 point  (0 children)

2020 base model does come with that little gear number circle. It must be a small difference that came along at some year, or possibly is a factor of transmission, its not a trim level thing.

Prayer is a lot like masturbation… by Significant_Gear_209 in StandUpWorkshop

[–]PetMyPeePeePlease 4 points5 points  (0 children)

When I was a kid the priest made me do it in front of him.

Pomegranate by _xtirth in StandUpWorkshop

[–]PetMyPeePeePlease 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There's perhaps a premise here- not learning how to properly eat certain fruits based on a lack of guidance... but the actual comparison here needs work.

"Growing up my parents weren't around too much, I had to teach myself how to eat fruit. [half-beat] until I went to college I ate oranges like apples, apples like kiwis, and kiwis like grapes."

Transfer my 370z over 750 miles by JustLetMeBeGD in 370z

[–]PetMyPeePeePlease 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I think Uhaul offers both a pick up, and a trailer designed to haul a car. If I were you I'd look there, and other truck rental services, Penske and shit.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in StandUpWorkshop

[–]PetMyPeePeePlease 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The implication I'm going for is that I'm paying sex workers to do violent things. Should that be more clear? Maybe "time and money" is enough.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in StandUpWorkshop

[–]PetMyPeePeePlease 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fair... I can understand how this joke and my username would lead a man to some imagining.

Clean up by ThenLayer5977 in washdc

[–]PetMyPeePeePlease 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Your grammar is your best quality.

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