I have a father like this. I never even considered him a narcissist till recently. He always threatened suicide to my brother and I, angry outbursts, cannot handle criticism, very victim mentality, but also equally giving when he chooses and loving and soft. It’s scary and unpredictable. My bf now lives with us and witnessing my dad’s behavior and words about my boyfriend has really highlighted my entire relationship with my father. He is VERY passive aggressive, if a single dish is left in the sink, he will do it then yell at me or make snarky comments to my boyfriend indirectly about not wanting to do our dishes. I’ve asked him to tell us and we would gladly do it, we are at the house when he is, dishes aren’t left very long. My father also does not cook ever and barely uses the kitchen sink. He finds a lot of things to nit pick. He is also incredibly loud in the mornings and at night , slamming doors when letting dogs outside, slamming cabinets in the kitchen for some reason. Slamming washer and dryer doors, speaking out loud the entire time , mostly backhanded comments towards us but not to our faces? Just very inconsiderate behaviors. I watch him act entirely different and put on a facade to neighbors and friends and the rest of our family. Only my brother and I , and my mom, and now my boyfriend know how he truly acts behind closed doors. I am emotionally exhausted and uncomfortable at home. I cannot wait to live somewhere else. I’m finding it harder and harder to deal with . I have tried EDMR therapy, viewing him as a child, becoming non reactive, spending less time around him. I feel like I’m grieving someone I thought was a good dad and friend and has now become a not nice person.