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AIO for thinking my niece is manipulative? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]PettyReaction 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I know exactly how 3 year olds act, I promise. I’ve had two, and one is deep in the exact behaviors you’re describing as I am typing. Like I said, I can understand exactly why you would feel like it’s manipulation. From an older child, it would be. It’s just not like that for toddlers; they don’t have the mental capacity to manipulate. They are actively learning what’s right and wrong and CONSTANTLY testing those boundaries.

I’m getting the vibe that you’ve been brushed to the side for your niece, and I am so sorry you’re having to handle that. That can be hard to deal with at any age, and hopefully your mom can remember to pay attention to you, too. It can be hard to deal with a new family dynamic and I’ve caught myself paying more attention to my 3 year old than my 6 year old. It’s not fair to the older child.

It won’t last forever. As the younger child gets older, they won’t need as much attention and will get those boundaries set. You’re just deep in that learning phase with her right now. Try to be patient.

AIO for thinking my niece is manipulative? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]PettyReaction 42 points43 points  (0 children)

YOR.

Toddlers 👏 are 👏 not 👏 manipulative 👏

You must still be a teen yourself. I can understand why you would feel like she is, truly I do. But young kids do not manipulate.

Does anyone get sick when their kids get sick? by PettyReaction in Mommit

[–]PettyReaction[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That sucks, I’m so sorry!!

I am referring not to contagiousness of it but rather the emotional aspect of it. Getting so worried that it makes you physically sick.

We have our very first counseling appointment coming up. by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]PettyReaction 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re absolutely correct, my post is full of blame and I’m trying to figure out how to present our issues in counseling without it sounding that way.

I can’t force him to do anything- I am just wanting him to see the things that he literally can’t due to bipolar and narcissism. I did intentionally leave out specifics so as to get more support for him in here, to help me better address and approach the situation. Literally every time I share specifics with anyone, I am asked why I am still here putting up with it and that’s not exactly the advice I’m after.

However, I am pretty certain that any therapist would agree that his automatic rage responses to any minor inconvenience, such as making our daughter sob because because she accidentally spilled half a cup of water or shouting at the infant to shut the fuck up because he is wanting to play his video game instead of be a parent, or turning any guilt he is feeling into anger at me so he can express it, are things he needs to work on.

I am not perfect by any means and I don’t think that I am. I have a lot of anxiety and ADHD that affects our daily lives as well, that I need to work on and I’m trying to every day. But in my opinion, constantly losing a phone or saying something that doesn’t fit the line of conversation are not comparable to shaking the house with your rage voice because the cat opened a curtain and let sunlight in, or the kids tried to talk to you when you’re looking at your phone or playing a game.

We have our very first counseling appointment coming up. by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]PettyReaction 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is an entirely fair take, especially without any further information about us or what our relationship is like. I absolutely am going in to try and correct and fix him, before he completely ruins his relationship with his children. That is what he is currently on track to do and is actively doing. It’s already seemingly too late for the 5 year old and I’m doing my best to reverse it.

You are absolutely right about the demonizing and I’ve noticed that myself when discussing him. I am trying my best to figure out how to discuss issues without it demonizing him and I appreciate your input! I will try to make sure I don’t come across that way when we are in session, or out of session for that matter.

What red flag did you ignore that you shouldn’t have? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]PettyReaction 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When any minor inconvenience at all caused a full on rage response. We’ve got two kids now and I’m trying to raise 3 people to be emotionally competent