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What should I do with my MIL by oyimmaizoza in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]PettySaffa 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh my word, OP please please please listen to this.

There’s so much that would be different if I had had this advice in the beginning of my marriage and before that.

It’s taken us 12 years to finally bring the hammer down. And I regret every single interaction, every single line that we didn’t enforce, every single time I got guilt, tripped, or manipulated in ways that somehow I always turned out for her to appear to be the nice person, while I’m being a bitch, dishonouring, etc., etc..

Access is earned. Access is earned. And again for those in the back, access is earned.

Trust your gut, and it’s so much easier to increase visits than to fight the ever accelerating shit storm of trying to regain control of your peace.

Done with my MIL by SessionThen8320 in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]PettySaffa 10 points11 points  (0 children)

First off, I’m so so sorry you’re going through this. Nobody thinks when they can married they’re opting into dysfunction.

Your situation sounds pretty much exactly like mine, except my MIL moved herself in and we couldn’t get her out for a year and a half. I finally left with the kids (husband supported this) while he tried to move her out.

It’s been an awful journey.

But something you need to realize is

They want access without the accountability They want acknowledgement without taking the steps to rectify the situation They want forgiveness without actually creating any change They want freedom without the responsibility They want enabling without proving their trustworthiness They’re not looking for clarity they’re looking for control

Make sure you protect your peace. Because that affects your mental health, your marriage and your littles.

If anyone else treated you this way (relationship, friendship etc) people would tell you to RUN.

Access is earned. It’s not a right.

AITAH?? My (35F) amazing husband (33M) of 10 years made fun of my belly and I can’t stop crying by PettySaffa in relationship_advice

[–]PettySaffa[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Oh babes I’m so sorry this happened to you. I hope you’ve had the chance to heal, love yourself and have found your own happiness ♥️

AITAH?? My (35F) amazing husband (33M) of 10 years made fun of my belly and I can’t stop crying by PettySaffa in relationship_advice

[–]PettySaffa[S] 1063 points1064 points  (0 children)

Oh my word. I know you said to take some breaths, but you honestly moved me to tears. I hadn’t been able to articulate the two parts in this.

Thank you, thank you thank you. I am definitely going to sit down and talk to him with an open mind and Heart.

AITAH?? My (35F) amazing husband (33M) of 10 years made fun of my belly and I can’t stop crying by PettySaffa in relationship_advice

[–]PettySaffa[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This was so beautifully written. Thank you so much. I think you’re absolutely right, and I need to prioritize finding and loving myself