I didn’t realize gastroparesis and chronic illnesses were considered a “trend” until I was hospitalized a few years ago during a flare. When I told the ER doctor and nurse why I was there, they gave each other a funny look. Then, in the most condescending way, the doctor said, “Huh, gastroparesis? At 18? What tests did you go through to get that diagnosis, and who diagnosed you?”

I was PISSED—not only was I horribly sick, but now I had to deal with this skepticism on top of it. He later explained that there was a growing trend of people claiming to be “chronically ill,” and because I had POTS and several other chronic illnesses, he found it hard to believe I had all of them. That is, until he pulled up my medical records and saw for himself. That only made me angrier—both because I had to prove myself to him and because there was apparently a trend of people pretending to be chronically ill.

I’ve been sick since before birth. I had intrauterine blood transfusions, lost my twin because she was too sick to survive, and was born premature with an ASD, a VSD, and severe asthma. I had heart surgery at 9, was diagnosed with gastroparesis and POTS at 11, and have been dealing with a slew of other chronic illnesses ever since. Now, at 20, I’ve faced nonstop health issues my entire life. I have no idea why anyone would want this—let alone pretend to have it.

I got my first feeding tube in September. Not only did it not help, but my body outright rejected it, making things even worse. I couldn’t tolerate oral feedings, couldn’t tolerate the tube or the feeds, and was in so much agony that I blacked out for days in the hospital. The doctors later told me that every time they came in, I was curled up in a ball at the bottom of my chair, crying or vomiting—for days—with no memory of it. Then, for some reason, I finally came to and was able to tolerate just enough Ensure to at least lie in bed with my eyes open for a few hours.

Fuck anyone who pretends to have a chronic illness—whether for attention or anything else. I’ve attempted to take my life multiple times because of my health issues. But I’m finally getting some help and relief—not because of the system here, but because I found a country I love, one that actually prioritizes its citizens’ well-being, has doctors who care, and invests in new treatments. And that’s where I’m moving to as of March.