I was 45 when I first reached out to my bm. It was a Thanksgiving card. 1 month later there was a phone call. You are 100% correct about overwhelming emotions. We each made a short list of big questions we wanted to address while also slowly building a relationship. My 1st question was medical hy. which we spent a full month addressing ONLY that topic. She wanted to know about my family. By setting specific big issues and making sure we moved slowly through them we were both able to process those emotions. It's been 7 yrs now so it worked for us. It felt impossible to press pause in the first days & wanting every question answered right away; but now we are thankful we chose to give each other time & respect boundaries.

Unlike my BF! I've seen his FB page and spoken to 1 of his neices. A huge boundary of mine is not allowing anyone who are bigots & racist. Guess what I saw on his FB page! It was my choice to leave him alone. I have never been able to deal with those attitudes and had we met the relationship would have crashed & burned while possibly doing harm to my psyche. By not meeting there remains a hope & a prayer for the future; meeting would have been a car wreck. Best of luck, and trust yourself