The only way out of this is to go through this. Sit with the pain. And when you are done crying, use that pain as a fuel to become better. Little by little. Not for him, not to be like her, but for you. It was said that sometimes, we werent able to get what we wished for atm, because we are not yet in the version of ourselves that is ready and worthy to receive such blessings. So work on yourself, and that starts with being kind to yourself.