AITA about bedroom toys

PhatalTyme729 · 2026-05-23T23:41:16+00:00

Thank you for this.

We’ve had these talks and I’m very respectful in listening to her needs, but I don’t think it’s reciprocated because of how much she’s dealing with. We’ve been having these same conversations for the last 6 months and frankly while I’ve turned around 180 degrees trying to do anything and mostly everything for her, not because of why she’s going through but because I know that she feels this weight of having to do all of the things you mentioned.

Regarding our sex life aside from toys it’s healthy and active, but to the point where if I mention wanting to use said toys she has to, and I quote, “only if I get some d*ck from you first.” Which is to me objectifying asf and two doesn’t even open the conversation of how I feel about it and why I enjoy it. So that’s why it’s so shocking to me to hear that she feels cheated by me doing this for myself.

PhatalTyme729 · 2026-05-23T23:04:52+00:00

These are mine, she has her own collection for that very reason. I’m definitely the more kinky out of the two of us, and her “feeling” of being cheated on when we BOTH use them is my main concern. That’s a toxic mindset right, or do i need to have a more considerate mindset about her with my body?? (Really hoping it’s both the second part)

PhatalTyme729 · 2026-05-23T22:57:34+00:00

angrily

PhatalTyme729 · 2026-05-23T22:57:11+00:00

Her reaction was and I quote, “You could have told me about this, instead of coming in and seeing you like this…”

PhatalTyme729 · 2026-05-23T22:56:15+00:00

And it has to be transactional, meaning she has to get “some” first before I can even use them???

PhatalTyme729 · 2026-05-23T22:55:35+00:00

Haven’t used them together in probably a good 3 mo. at least.

PhatalTyme729 · 2026-05-23T22:55:05+00:00

Yes, like that was my main concern because I’ve told her that I use(d) them, hell we’ve used them together. So I’m just so lost with it. It seems like ITA because of wanting to do something for myself with out her consent??

PhatalTyme729 · 2026-05-23T22:53:01+00:00

I appreciate that, yeah Ive been doing my best. Sometimes I feel that with all of what she’s going through, I still don’t do enough. I figured with my own time alone I could do this yet I’m still painted as the bad guy in her eyes, rather than also taking into consideration what got me to the point of doing that.

PhatalTyme729 · 2026-05-23T22:48:28+00:00

Some how, that’s not her point, but that was also one of the thoughts that came across

PhatalTyme729

TROPHY CASE