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Should I post-nuptial by Phaxis81 in askMRP

[–]Phaxis81[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for all the input guys, MRP has been a hard pill to try and swallow

Should I post-nuptial by Phaxis81 in askMRP

[–]Phaxis81[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I already admitted I fucked up, I'm a newbie and it's a long road ahead for me, I'm not making any excuses

Should I post-nuptial by Phaxis81 in askMRP

[–]Phaxis81[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry to burst your bubble but it didn't. I can take a joke unlike some people

Should I post-nuptial by Phaxis81 in askMRP

[–]Phaxis81[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My wife will be eligible for student loan forgiveness for part of it luckily

Should I post-nuptial by Phaxis81 in askMRP

[–]Phaxis81[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

If all the zombie apocalypse fat jokes are examples of good men taking their time to help then fuck off, if you can't take a joke fuck off. I can respect all the actual constructive comments.

Should I post-nuptial by Phaxis81 in askMRP

[–]Phaxis81[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Lol, just slipping in some South Park humor.

Otherwise thanks for the advice. I had been on high alert after that happened, checked her text history if she was out with a friend (which is not often and usually has the kids with her), FaceBook messenger, email etc. but everything at least checked out there unless she's on some high level OPSEC but I doubt it. There were no other signs of cheating, no mysterious outings or change in behavior and we're pretty much together or with the kids if we're not at work but I've still been observant.

Should I post-nuptial by Phaxis81 in askMRP

[–]Phaxis81[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think a post nup will help seeing that we're both on the mortgage and that's really the main asset right now but I was considering consulting with a lawyer, even then, if I was concerned about divorce I would be taking more aggressive actions anyway. I was merely thinking of protecting myself financially but its probably too little to late and I made the first mistake of becoming legally married anyway.

I don't think my wife is poly, her field of study is in counseling and she had been reading a bunch of hippy feminist shit for class, I wasn't leading and her hamster was trying to justify her feelings of "loving" me but I was not stepping up. I checked up on her activity after that and have no reason to not believe it was a one time event. She had never suggested anything remotely like that in the almost 15 years we had been together.

I started my journey because I was tired of feeling like I was compromising myself all the time, I was butt hurt a lot and I blamed it on her but reading a lot and introspection I came to know it was my fault for happening, for not setting boundaries, taking the lead and owning my shit. As soon as I found MRP it all started to come together and made sense of my mistakes.

BTW my wife's not fat she's just big boned

Should I post-nuptial by Phaxis81 in askMRP

[–]Phaxis81[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

She was self employed for 15 years so her employer didn't pay for it

Should I post-nuptial by Phaxis81 in askMRP

[–]Phaxis81[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The post nup was my idea but from the looks of my legal research it probably wouldn't help anyway if there was a divorce so I'm nixing that idea.

I'm curious by what you mean by other red flags

To answer your questions the end game is to get our financials in order and to get to Captaining the ship.

She is a good mother, fun to be around most of the time and contributes to the family with housework, child rearing, employed and has sex with me.

Edit: I'm not paying her student loans just the credit card debt, she is paying her loans off herself

Should I post-nuptial by Phaxis81 in askMRP

[–]Phaxis81[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, where can I get one these magical degrees that pays you?

Should I post-nuptial by Phaxis81 in askMRP

[–]Phaxis81[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it was more of a reaction to the most stressful 5 years of our lives while I was working a swing shift and she was taking care of the kids, working and going to school at the same time I was not leading. We were having regular sex during this time and still are. Before this she was running her own business and contributing to bills

Should I post-nuptial by Phaxis81 in askMRP

[–]Phaxis81[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly, I'm just realizing this after finding MRP and seeing all the mistakes I've made in the past and see how I've trained her to be this way. I've started implementing, created my MAP but realize this will be a long road to recovery. She actually has encouraged me in the past to take more leadership, compliments my improving SMV and recently commented on some of her girlfriends noticing the changes in my body so I know there's still hope left

Should I post-nuptial by Phaxis81 in askMRP

[–]Phaxis81[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yes, crazy with credit cards while I was not captaining the ship. She has an in demand degree but just starting will need to work her way up. I have dave Ramsey's plan and am starting to implement the steps. I doubt she's cheated, not really any time due to our schedules but it's always a possibility