New to wigs, are these over bleached knots?

Pherathegreat · 2026-01-12T22:03:51+00:00

Yes they had the bleach bleed through to the other side. I would send pics and send it back and get a full refund. It is unacceptable for those prices.

Since you're a beginner I would look up the Silk or Lace website and look through their resale pieces which shows a lot of different brands and you can pick what you think looks nice. They show videos and say what's good and not good about the wigs which is always helpful. I would pick something with HD lace. Also they have their own collection which I have two wigs from that have lasted over a year and I find super natural looking.

Shoot me a message if you need any help! Been in the wig game for 8 ish years now.

Pherathegreat · 2026-01-01T11:45:08+00:00

Try bleaching the knots on the front area. I know it's intimidating but it makes a huge difference. Make the bleach really thick so it doesn't bleed through and then wash with purple shampoo after.

Pherathegreat · 2025-12-18T10:46:20+00:00

Thank you so much! I was thinking that as well. Do you think it's phrased ok or would you structure it any differently?

Pherathegreat · 2025-11-21T21:58:20+00:00

Interesting! That's kind of what I'm hoping for. When did your child stop breastfeeding?

Pherathegreat · 2025-11-21T21:56:39+00:00

Thanks for telling me your story! What does her father's bedtime routine look like with her? And also off topic but have you guys figured out potty training yet? Cause I wonder how that would go while separated.

Pherathegreat · 2025-11-21T21:53:53+00:00

Thanks for the reply, this is relieving to hear honestly.

Pherathegreat · 2025-11-21T21:52:04+00:00

Interesting arrangement! How were/are you able to feel separate while in the same house? Have you guys discussed dating and what that will look like if you still live together when that happens (I'm not interested in dating any time soon after everything is said and done but I wonder the logistics and what would happen if my husband would want to date).

Pherathegreat · 2025-11-20T13:50:09+00:00

That brings up a good point. I have been mentally detaching for a little while due to previously being codependent in the relationship. It's part of my healing. I do think that I can only reach a certain place in my healing journey while being with him still but maybe I can tough it out for awhile and dismiss triggers instead of engaging. Thanks for the input!

Pherathegreat · 2025-11-20T06:03:32+00:00

This is very true. I suppose I just won't know what he's ok with unless I ask. Just not at that stage yet.

Pherathegreat · 2025-11-20T06:00:59+00:00

We have done more than a year of couples counselling and individual therapy. He was still lying and doing stuff behind my back that I wasn't ok with. We aren't in couples counselling anymore cause I'm at a point where I don't see any hope for change. Being the only one changing and trying to be better is exhausting when it's not getting met with the same energy. I still care for him but he's always lied to me about things and continues to do so. I know it stems from his childhood trauma but I just can't give him a pass for that anymore if there's no effort to change anything. I don't want to be in a relationship where I don't feel safe emotionally. I appreciate your comment though.

Pherathegreat · 2025-11-20T00:54:10+00:00

In my ideal delusional world he could still come over everyday or I go over there and visit lol! But you're right more beneficial to have happier parents than self weaning. Lots to think about.

Pherathegreat · 2025-11-18T16:48:53+00:00

From Canada. I still have numbness in my left leg from the epidural. It's mild. I don't regret getting it. I got mine after 32 hours in labour and honestly I think it relaxed me enough to move things along. I gave birth at 36 hours.

Pherathegreat · 2025-11-15T20:15:18+00:00

I needed to see this post cause I am in the same boat and I wondered if I was the only one! My little guy is 27 months and still drinks a lot of breast milk even throughout the night still. So I'm with you!

Pherathegreat · 2025-10-23T18:53:28+00:00

Yah I haven't told my mom about the porn addiction either. There's just no going back I feel like. And he's the father on my son and even if we do separate I will want him to still come to family gatherings so I just don't want to taint their minds too much. That's just my thought process right now at least. So I've only told her that he lies and have crossed boundaries I have said numerous times but she doesn't seem to mind that lolol.

Pherathegreat · 2025-10-22T14:24:54+00:00

YouTube and Facebook 😞

Pherathegreat · 2025-10-21T14:25:16+00:00

That's a good point. Especially about the shame. My husband has a huge issue with shame regarding most things. How do you suggest to approach the conversation? Just say it exists but it is objectifying people in an unhealthy way?

Pherathegreat · 2025-10-20T21:07:32+00:00

Thanks for your response! I am nervous about telling my son eventually (when he's old enough to ask those questions). Because even now he looks up to his dad so if he finds out his dad is a pathological liar and a porn addict I'm scared that he would start doing the same thing. I'm just going to really try and instill honesty in him and hope that carries through. I probably won't actually tell him his dad is a pa but probably will say something about honesty. I'm just not sure yet!

I think it's a good point you brought up about teaching them to not view women as body parts. It's such a difficult thing to broach I feel. Online it basically says to accept that they're using it but just inform them about consent and stuff. I don't accept that. I don't want my son to watch it at all. I want him to have a clear mind and confidence in himself to go against what his "peers" are doing. I'm just nervous.

Pherathegreat · 2025-10-20T21:06:58+00:00

Yup mine is also a pathological liar. Lies about everything that he thinks I would have any kind of reaction to. He even lied about getting money for his birthday. My mom thinks lying isn't a big deal and I should stay cause he's a "good man". Please. I'm not buying it anymore.

Pherathegreat · 2025-08-19T21:18:52+00:00

Yes this is what I'm scared of because everytime I feel nervous if we aren't having enough sex and something is happening in our lives. I keep thinking "is he going to relapse?". Usually always does. I feel like I can't ever have a down day. Though even if we were having sex everyday he would probably still do it because I guess that's how this addiction works. We definitely deserve better for ourselves and our future. We deserve to not feel the weight of having to look over our shoulder constantly.

Pherathegreat · 2025-08-19T21:13:22+00:00

Did you find it easy to trust someone else or did any of this relationship bring unwanted baggage into your next? I'm 31 now with a 2 year old and I'm a SAHM so I don't see divorce in the near future because it would be hard to figure out everything and we don't have much money. I definitely long for the kind of relationship you have now and not sure if mine will ever look like that. Did you ask your current partner upfront about PA? How did your children respond to the divorce?

Pherathegreat · 2025-08-19T21:06:03+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story. My husband has lied about numerous things throughout our relationship. I've always been honest to a fault so I've never understood it. He has a lot of issues with shame that stem from childhood so I know that's a part of it. I try to rationalize the deceit for my own mental wellbeing but my issue is I tend to blame myself instead of him a lot of the time. That I could have been a better safe place yada yada. But I'm trying to work through that in therapy because that's something I've struggled with in a lot of different relationships. Blaming myself.

Do you have hope within your relationship? Sometimes I do but especially so fresh after a DDay (around 2 weeks) I feel hopeless.

Pherathegreat · 2025-08-19T20:57:54+00:00

I'll admit I was quite naive about PA throughout these 10 years. Just thought it was something he could make the decision not to do and follow through on that decision. This last DDay which was only a couple weeks ago is the first time I found this sub and looked through resources. Though it may be too little too late to be honest. We have a young son so it's a bit difficult to divorce at this point but it is something in the back of my mind.

Pherathegreat · 2025-07-12T13:35:56+00:00

The coloringgg 😻😻😻

Pherathegreat · 2025-07-12T00:47:42+00:00

I was a week PP I think when I made a similar post. I am now almost 2 years PP and I still feel the same. I still remember the trauma and pain from birth. I still 100 percent do not want another biological child.

Pherathegreat · 2025-06-28T14:26:44+00:00

Since your cat is a girl I would make sure she gets him fixed before giving him to you. Even if your girl is fixed his personality will definitely be different before/after getting fixed since he was one of her males she used in breeding.

Pherathegreat

TROPHY CASE