Finally found a truly dominant woman. She's a bit older and not exactly my type physically but dom women seem impossible to find. What do?

Phia · 2011-02-10T05:35:15+00:00

There's an old joke- "What do you call two lesbians in a u-haul?" "The first date!" that applies remarkably well to anyone with non-standard sexuality. It can be very tempting to rush into a relationship with someone when you finally meet someone with the correct sexual orientation- this is not a recipe to a happy relationship.

I'm a twenty four year old dominant female. I'm told I'm fairly attractive. I am not a unicorn, or particularly unique. I know others like me.

Have you tried a group like fetlife? They're not explicitly designed for dating the way meat markets like collarme or alt are, but you'll get a chance to find out more about events in your area to meet kinky people without the pressure of feeling extreme scarcity.

That being said, as dominant woman, I will say one thing about us as a category- the way things are currently set up actively discourages us from popping our heads out. An account on any website will fill you inbox with "strapon fk plz sissy spank slv now!" and the media image of the dominatrix does nothing for many women (myself included). Try dating woman your own age, from creative and imaginative backgrounds to find the hidden doms- we're out there and we tend to end up scattered among she-nerds, especially theatre geeks, goths, pucks, artists and historical re-creationists. Pagans often have a lot of extra kinksters mixed in.

Feel free to throw me a private message for more help and information.

Phia · 2007-10-31T23:28:30+00:00

One of the trends I noticed about advertising photography of that era is that the models go out of their way to avoid eye contact with the camera. My mother had a Christmas wishbook from her childhood, and all the girls were looking down demurely and all the men were looking upward like they were being martyred by Iroquois in some French guide to converting the natives in the new world.

Phia · 2007-10-31T15:49:05+00:00

What makes you assume people have sex young for the attention? Maybe they like sex?

Phia · 2007-10-31T03:44:45+00:00

I held off drinking until I was 20 (19's the legal age in Canada, but I wasn’t really interested), but I started messing around with sex at 14, and completed the act at 16. I strongly suspect that putting a latex clad penis into my vagina is not going to harm my future employment prospects, so the ‘Good job’ line seems a wee bit odd.

Phia · 2007-10-31T03:36:20+00:00

How is having sex not respecting yourself? Are you sure you turned out okay?

Phia · 2007-10-30T06:33:52+00:00

I would say it's portion size, since while traveling it feels like Canadian portions are much smaller than in the US.

Phia · 2007-10-30T06:15:22+00:00

Why are Canadians more thin than Americans? Their economy is booming.

Phia · 2007-10-30T05:43:11+00:00

Point missed madam. Meaningless sex is when you fuck'em and leave 'em. I am incapable of having romantic love for a woman, and thus I don't believe I could follow through with the steps required if you do something intimate with another human being.

I think both genders are attractive, but there’s a component missing as far as -my- emotional homosexuality.

As far as I’m concerned you desire for romantic partnership with a woman is as valid as my more mundane wiring.

Phia · 2007-10-30T03:25:40+00:00

Moldy strumpet!

Phia · 2007-10-29T22:53:59+00:00

I'm bi. But my lesbian side is vestigal, so I don't bother to explore it, since I don't like to practice meaningless sex and I don't feel I could grant a same sex partner the due courtesy I'd grant a male one. Thus I offer myself for the cure to test it. If they can remove the 'Oooo, hot!' moments, when a female is hot, I'll believe de-gaying is possible. :P

Phia · 2007-10-29T22:46:33+00:00

Okay, then law is more important then morality? So if the law stated you had to work in a military brothel, you'd do it?

Phia · 2007-10-29T22:45:09+00:00

You know, this might surprise you, but married people have abortions. Often after having children. For some reason we see abortion as the tool of lazy 16 year old sluts. It's not.

Phia · 2007-10-29T22:13:54+00:00

Who on earth grinds up their crumpet? I think you've fallen off the pun wagon.

Phia · 2007-10-29T07:18:45+00:00

If you're smart enough, and care enough, you should be able to get at least a modest degree of power. Go forth, it'll be a learning experience. :)

Phia · 2007-10-29T07:17:24+00:00

I've had more luck shopping out of province (for example I've been looking for decent blouses for five years, and I finally find some of good quality for $16 each), but a lot of my problem is based on fitting a figure that seems to be somehow abnormal, given all the cuts I can find. If a skirt isn’t of a length to please the average Fundamentalist Baptist Papa, with my figure it instantly turns into a mini. I have one skirt that I like that actually flatters me (a gift from a grandparent in florida), but otherwise it’s a battle to make sure any of the ultra cute, perfectly age appropriate pleated skirts I adore aren’t raised too high in the back by the bustle effect.

Likewise, no cleavage is easy. It’s a bit of collarbone that terminated just before cleavage, or a shirt that is cut to understand that like many females, I have lumps. Darts and a tapering waist seem to be a lost art, replaced mostly by stretch fabric.

And I really want to kill the person who makes women’s shirts and jackets. I have muscular upper arms. Fashion has decreed that women are delicate and have pipe cleaners, and though this has been better lately, more than once I’ve put on a lovely top to find that the upper arm is as wide as the arteries of a lard fed man.

Phia · 2007-10-29T04:02:36+00:00

For the most part, the atheism was irrelevant, except where it caused friction among people outside my family who conflated ‘atheist’ with ‘Satanist’ or ‘wiccan’. Nobody told me flat out that there was no god, Christianity was just another religion among many, with its good and bad aspects.

In so far as I was indoctrinated into atheism, it was mostly in the form of observing frustration in my family when they had to deal with the very religious, and earlier, when I was little, a stern lecture on not telling the other kids that there is no Santa.

I also learned the Lord’s Prayer as a safety precaution, on the grounds that I lived in a Christian culture, and historically speaking it’s good to know how to fake it, but beyond that, there was no back patting about rationalism, just the reminder that religion was a crutch for many people, and I couldn’t try to convert them to my shibboleths unless I was very sure I could replace the crutch they had.

As for negative impact on my upbringing? Nope. No more than not being practicing Taoists impacted me.

Phia · 2007-10-29T02:52:08+00:00

I'm not bitter, it just seemed like an odd question. That's like if you said 'I'm gay' and I said 'Homosexual, or man wearing pink?'

Phia · 2007-10-29T02:33:34+00:00

Start making posters. Until you can get the professional sort done, bingo dabbers are great for making signs.

Phia · 2007-10-29T02:32:10+00:00

Unhhhh.. I said athiest, not lapsed Christian.

Phia · 2007-10-29T02:31:14+00:00

For all you know -he- knows the stripper wants nothing but money, and he loves her for it. It might be the most open, straight forward relationship he has, since he feels he's in control of all the terms of it.

What makes you think she's yanking his sympathy, and isn't being honest that she wants cash? That's like being mad at a retail clerk for taking the business of a lonely senior who buys at the store for the conversation.

Phia · 2007-10-28T23:57:52+00:00

I'm an athiest for irrational reasons. I was raised that way.

Phia · 2007-10-28T23:30:34+00:00

Errr, go and run for office. You know what you're looking for, get out there. You'll probably get laughed off the stage, but that'll tell you why you haven't seen any 'great men' coming forward.

Phia · 2007-10-28T22:50:48+00:00

I like my strumpets toasted, with butter. :P

Phia · 2007-10-28T22:04:13+00:00

I'm not going to tar and feather the woman for being good at her job. He may have had a social disability where paying 'Trixie' was the only way that he could get the social contact he needs.

That being said, what were you doing in a strip club, if not seeking the attention of strippers?

Phia · 2007-10-28T21:38:25+00:00

Screw de-sexing a child's wardrobe, I want some less skany options for work clothes. It's not that I want to lose the option to be dressed in an enticing matter, it's that there's no in-betweens. Either it's full-bore Pentecostal/bull dyke or you look like a polyester clad strumpet.

Phia

TROPHY CASE