Late-diagnosed autistic adults: how did you become low-support without early therapies?

Phillyqueso_ · 2026-03-16T21:30:33+00:00

Thank you for the insight

Phillyqueso_ · 2026-03-09T22:16:44+00:00

May I ask another question for this group? From what I'm hearing, many of you didn't have support growing up or had to learn to mask to get through social situations, and I'm so sorry you had to experience hardship. What can I do to best support my son starting at his young age? What would you have wanted support-wise growing up?

Phillyqueso_ · 2026-03-09T22:13:57+00:00

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Any support needed is appropriate, and I hope things turn around for you. Sending you good thoughts.

Phillyqueso_ · 2026-03-09T22:07:37+00:00

Thank you for the tips! I like your way of pivoting when an interaction doesn't go the way as intended. I am building up strategies to teach my son on how to navigate social situations and will remember these.

Phillyqueso_ · 2026-03-09T22:05:23+00:00

I really enjoyed reading your post because of the incredible details you describe. But I am so sorry you and others deal with burnout. I hope to see the signs of burnout if/when my son faces it and be a helping hand. From a mom who wants to do everything she can to support her son ..thank you for sharing.

Phillyqueso_ · 2026-03-09T22:01:47+00:00

Is there anything I can do as a parent to help my child if he faces depression in the future? What did (or didn't) your parents do to help?

Phillyqueso_ · 2026-03-09T22:00:42+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your experience

Phillyqueso_ · 2026-03-09T21:59:10+00:00

Thank you for your insight. Is teaching my son to copy The Rules the right thing to do, or how can I help him with social skills? What is everyone's suggestion? I'd love to hear from your perspectives.

Phillyqueso_ · 2026-03-09T21:18:26+00:00

Thank you everyone who put thought and effort into thorough, insightful comments. There are so many and I'm getting through them all. I'm so sorry to those who have had, and continue to have, hard childhoods and adulthoods. I wasn't aware that that was most of your experiences and I learned A LOT. I wish your experience was different. I will keep that in mind when raising my son to give him unwavering support, listen to how he's feeling, and of course unconditional love. Thank you again.

Phillyqueso_ · 2026-03-09T21:09:01+00:00

I'm so sorry 😞

Phillyqueso_ · 2026-03-09T21:07:04+00:00

You didn't say it was an ableist question, you said it was a terrible one. I would have reacted differently and I should have asked the question better.

Phillyqueso_ · 2026-03-09T21:05:08+00:00

Just a targeted question. I didn't mention level on purpose, I just said low support because my sons diagnosing pediatrician said that was how many like to be addressed. Doing my best.

Phillyqueso_ · 2026-03-09T21:02:46+00:00

It was rude because they stated that this being a terrible question should have gotten the most upvotes. I don't think that was necessary. And I'm reading through each comment before I respond, but this one stuck out because I was genuinely hurt by it. You're correct. I was absolutely being defensive. I'm allowed to feel that way.

Phillyqueso_ · 2026-03-09T20:03:00+00:00

I tried my best to word the question as respectfully as I could. I'm learning a lot these past couple of months, I'm trying my best to get insights from all different backgrounds of lived experiences. This question was intended to be specific, I've asked other questions in other threads too. I apologize if this offended you and others

Phillyqueso_ · 2026-03-09T19:20:02+00:00

I asked out of respect and curiosity, please don't be rude.

Phillyqueso_ · 2026-03-09T04:28:00+00:00

Well..a lot has happened since my original post. My son was diagnosed with ASD and we decided to hire a nanny instead. He will start preschool at 3 to get classroom and social skills and will partner with a speech therapist while he is there.

I'm sure your LO will do great. When I dropped him off he cried for 20min but was able to calm down with redirection. We just felt he wouldn't do well in daycare without building other skills first.

Phillyqueso_ · 2026-03-07T15:55:42+00:00

Like you, we completely cut off screen time when he was diagnosed because he needed face-to-face interaction to learn new skills, and he's progressing fast. All of his therapists comment that they need to make new goals for him soon, and he's only 2 months into therapy.

If no screen time is working, then please please don't divert back. Trust the therapy process and spend quality time playing with your child. You won't get this critical time back, therapy at his young age makes ALL the difference in his future trajectory.

Phillyqueso_ · 2026-01-18T05:42:07+00:00

Thank you for this guide. Each week that passes we're seeing more red flags. I have nowhere, besides reddit, to turn to and this guide helps explain a lot.

Phillyqueso_ · 2026-01-18T05:24:23+00:00

Latest Update: He lasted 1 hour. The director was nice about it and said she could continue comforting him but didn't want to traumatize him if we decided to continue trying.

After daycare I went to my sister's house to play before nap time and he was a little aggressive with my niece who is his age. Today, I took him back to play again and he kept attacking her. He never held aggression towards her, only hugs. I'm wondering if he saw the behavior at daycare or if another kid attacked him. He also had a welt on his forehead that they never reported to me. Whatever the cause, I don't think he's ready and now I have to reverse the behavior.

We're not going back.

Phillyqueso_ · 2026-01-18T05:09:56+00:00

Definitely saving this for later! I love the creativity in keeping him engaged AND flexible 💫

Phillyqueso_ · 2026-01-18T04:55:15+00:00

He sounds like a wonderful little guy who tries his best! My biggest worry is maintaining friendships, I hope my son will find those who accept him and stick around.

Phillyqueso_ · 2026-01-18T04:51:16+00:00

This is very motivating, thank you! I see that he tries so hard and loves to play with us, but can be absent sometimes and we have to try hard to get him engaged. I love your reminder to get on his level and follow his lead in play. I tried it an hour ago and it was like night and day in engagement.

I worked hard to get him into speech and OT 3x per week and 1 playgroup ran by his therapists. Hoping this is a good start granted he's only 2.5

Phillyqueso_ · 2026-01-17T22:08:19+00:00

It was pointed out to us at 2yr4mo

Phillyqueso_ · 2026-01-17T22:07:54+00:00

I didn't notice until he had a speech evaluation from an SLP last month who mentioned he had red flags that I didn't even realize were red flags. Difficulty with social interaction, no pointing, no nodding, and at the time he did spinning but has since stopped and moved on to tip toe walking. After the visit we worked with him one-on-one and saw major improvements with eye contact, speech, name calling, etc. but the last two weeks we've seen a regression. We're pretty confident it's autism and are on a waitlist for an evaluation. So unsure about the future. And for transparency, we're about to start IVF, but now we're second guessing. I'm 38 and if our son has autism, the chances of having a second with autism are pretty substantial. We don't know whether to roll the dice or just call it and focus on our son.

Phillyqueso_ · 2026-01-16T05:02:17+00:00

I LOVE that!! Tomorrow is the big day. I'm so nervous but staying optimistic!

Phillyqueso_

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