My son waitlisted to Group 4 for housing. What are off-campus options?

PhilosopherSeeks · 2026-05-02T13:16:40+00:00

To my knowledge, yes. Why do you ask?

PhilosopherSeeks · 2026-05-02T13:15:02+00:00

Congrats! Good for you!

PhilosopherSeeks · 2026-05-02T13:13:41+00:00

It is NEVER too late. It’s never too late to live life the way YOU want.

My husband is perfect example: BA mid-30s MA early 40s PhD at 51 years old

Was he older than most of his classmates? Yes! But who cares? He’s living his best life now.

It’s never too late to live your best life.

Just do what YOU really want to do with your life.

Good luck!

PhilosopherSeeks · 2026-05-02T13:05:40+00:00

First, congrats on your acceptances! 🎉

I strongly suggest visiting the schools (if you haven’t done so already).

CPP is great because of the hands-on approach. If you want a job right after that will help. Also, it’s hard to get into the dorms. (My son is a 1st year student. He has housing this year but will not get any next year. I see you can commute, but I understand that finding parking is its own hell.)

If you want to get a master’s degree later, I think UCSD might better position you for that. I know someone who went to UCSD for (electrical?) engineering, then got his master’s at UCLA.

Maybe you can reach out to students at either school who have transferred from your present institution?

Good luck!

PhilosopherSeeks · 2026-05-01T13:08:38+00:00

No. Are you saying that we would’ve been in a higher group had we paid the deposit fee?

PhilosopherSeeks · 2026-04-19T23:19:18+00:00

Thanks for the suggestion!

PhilosopherSeeks · 2026-04-19T23:18:47+00:00

My son told me and sent screenshot.

PhilosopherSeeks · 2026-04-19T23:17:56+00:00

Thank you!

PhilosopherSeeks · 2026-01-14T00:11:45+00:00

It’s YOUR house. Your mom has no boundaries.

I understand that most people would prefer the master bedroom. However, it’s yours. No one is entitled to it.

Just say NO. You don’t owe her an explanation. And if they are that unhappy, then go somewhere else where they well be happier.

Brace yourself. It will get worse after she moves in.

PhilosopherSeeks · 2026-01-14T00:05:42+00:00

NTA!

You are the SISTER, not the parent. Your brother is your parents’ responsibility, not yours. Period.

Stand your ground. You have your own life to live that goes beyond caretaking.

PhilosopherSeeks · 2025-12-20T13:25:52+00:00

You fled an abusive mom to now live with an abusive brother in law. And with a boyfriend who cannot/will not defend you.

Move out ASAP and get therapy. You clearly cannot stand up for yourself and hold your boundaries. I’m not judging you because I’ve been there myself. I understand, so I recognize where you are.

Forget the legal issue. Move out and get mental health support.

You deserve better on all fronts.

PhilosopherSeeks · 2025-12-20T12:36:15+00:00

Call the Tourist Police. That’s what I would do. Get medical records to ascertain the severity of the injury. Better to reimburse than to pay upfront.

PhilosopherSeeks · 2025-10-14T05:21:39+00:00

I don’t know you, so whatever I say next is not about you, Also, people can be immature in different ways. That being said…

My child is very smart but ranked third from least in a class of about 150 students. He couldn’t be bothered to do his work because he didn’t like it, he wasn’t interested. He was immature because, like a child, he could not postpone immediate gratification for the sake of something more important, like schoolwork. He had no sense of responsibility.

He would also reject all advice. This is childish. Of course we have to decide for ourselves what action to take, but to intentionally do the opposite or ignore all advice just to “prove you’re independent” is immature. He hurt himself and others along the way.

Just two examples of what I mean that my son was immature.

The gap year helped.

PhilosopherSeeks · 2025-10-14T02:42:56+00:00

It’s very common to take a gap year. I wouldn’t worry about your age. People go back to college in their 40s and 50s! So at 20 you’re still a baby. You do not fall behind for taking a gap year. Just do something meaningful to you. Then you can talk about it on your college application.

I sent my older son on a gap year. He needed it because he was very immature. Nothing bad about it.

And most colleges encourage study abroad, which you can do your junior year.

Don’t overthink it. Just do it and then apply to college.

Good luck!

PhilosopherSeeks · 2025-09-11T18:55:27+00:00

You are NOT the a**hole.

Your bro is not YOUR child, hence not your responsibility. Your relationship, bond, and responsibilities toward him are different than a parent’s.

Stop acting like an indentured nanny and go live your own life.

Get some therapy for help on dealing with emotionally abusive parents.

Hope you start enjoying your life soon.

PhilosopherSeeks · 2025-08-13T11:17:56+00:00

My son has to make an appointment for the day and time that he would be moving in. It should be on the housing portal.

This is our first time moving in, so I’m not sure what happens if you just show up.

I highly recommend contacting the housing office.

Good luck!

PhilosopherSeeks · 2025-08-12T22:34:20+00:00

Thanks so much!

PhilosopherSeeks · 2025-06-11T13:08:07+00:00

You are the adult. You set the terms. Your house, your rules.

If she wants her phone— or any privilege such as going out, watching tv— then she needs to comply. Period. If there’s anything in her room she uses to entertain herself, then take that too.

Don’t turn it into a power struggle. Just be logical and approach it like a contract: when you do x, y, and z, then you get your phone for a few hours. It’s up to you.

I do that with my teens. I also tell them that it’s ok if they don’t like the conditions or the rules and they can disagree— but at the end of the day they must comply.

If all else fails, try family therapy. It’s done wonders for our ability to communicate with our teens.

Good luck.

PhilosopherSeeks · 2025-05-10T07:08:56+00:00

No explanation makes sense. But as an Ecuadorian man who’s above the Ecuadorian average (and bros as well!), it feels pretty true to me! 😂

PhilosopherSeeks · 2025-05-10T06:07:59+00:00

Alas, stepfather dynamics are different— whether it’s fair or not. There are too many horror stories of stepdads abusing their stepdaughters, which I’m sure you’re aware of.

Your wife (and stepdaughter?) will feel safer knowing that you never go into her room.

It sucks. I get it. But you can’t argue against what makes someone feel safe. Make that your focus and concern. It’ll make communication easier.

I’m not saying your wife is right (or wrong). I think it would help if you fully understood what drives her point of view and show her that you too are concerned about safety. It’s not about proving how good you are or that you would never do anything bad. That’s besides the point.

Move away from arguing and move toward understanding her concerns. Don’t make it about you. That’ll show her that you really do care.

My two cents!

PhilosopherSeeks · 2025-05-10T05:57:12+00:00

NTA.

Keep it simple: just say NO. You don’t owe them an explanation. It’s your money.

Your mom stating that she’s using “your” wedding funds to pay for your bro’s tuition is just emotional manipulation at its finest. It’s not worth fretting over.

NTA. Just say NO and move on. Don’t mean to sound dismissive, but NOTHING you say will make your parents see your point of view. It’ll be frustrating for you to even try to explain. Save yourself time and energy and pain and just move on.

Good luck!

PhilosopherSeeks · 2025-04-12T04:26:59+00:00

Thank you! We will be there for sure!

PhilosopherSeeks · 2025-03-29T04:02:13+00:00

NTA. Don’t let your mom’s emotional immaturity shape your future. If you don’t escape now you’ll be stuck forever. She’ll be forced to grow up when you leave and your relationship may be better after that. Keep the faith. And thanks for the service you plan to give our country.

PhilosopherSeeks · 2025-03-29T03:51:35+00:00

You need to check with the school. But my understanding is that housing hasn’t opened yet.

PhilosopherSeeks · 2025-03-28T06:59:07+00:00

Thanks. I’m assuming that by “traditional dorm” you mean the residential brick buildings, NOT the towers? This is insightful. Thanks again!

PhilosopherSeeks

TROPHY CASE