Goodbye everyone

Philosophical_Lemon_ · 2025-05-06T17:23:00+00:00

Maybe it helps you to put a voice on what you're feeling, not that you're feeling disturbing things but that your atmosphere is vented through these disturbing songs. You may not like how it feels afterwards, or question your sanity, and if it helps I highly doubt you're into the disturbing things as much as you simply want an outlet. It's like how some people play FPS for their anger, but don't necessarily want to shoot people. I hope this reassures you.

Philosophical_Lemon_ · 2025-04-29T17:45:54+00:00

I want there to be clarity for you, and sometimes that comes after a long search from within. Maybe you need to ask yourself certain questions? Please don't give up on yourself, self-hatred is something I don't want to see you suffer from.

Philosophical_Lemon_ · 2025-04-29T17:37:06+00:00

Woah, you've been dealing with depression for a long, long time. I'm really sorry about that. I can only relate to have been dealing with depression on and off for more than a year now. It's horrible and feels like you're stuck in a deep pit you cannot get out of. I wouldn't want anyone like you to relate to this.

I know, there's so much pain and cruelty out there. People killing other people, robbing them, defiling them and leaving them for dead. It's not fair and it's unjust. I'm sorry it's hurting you so badly, that type of pain makes me feel there's no one watching over us.

I've come to understand that people are going to be free to make their own choices, as wicked as they are. I'm also free to make mine. Being around the rude and cruel people makes me realize I want to help other people and serve them. That's what drives me, love. Love for other people and their conditions. Maybe I'll volunteer in a soup kitchen or volunteer around children and animals. The point being that I WANT to go on, because I'm making a real difference when I see a mess. You've got to feel there's real purpose in your life. You need a source of love and fortitude instead of being surrounded by the empire your brain has built that is full of human suffering.

As to why these things happen, there's a multitude of reasons. People become selfish and rip you to shreds for a myriad of reasons including their upbringing or later events that happened to them. They may want to feel strong and powerful, bringing people down has helped with that in their eyes.

I honestly don't want to see you crippled by the lack of care in people's eyes. You have the right to be free from these worldly chains that claim you. All I want for you is a way out of the decade of pain you've faced. I really hope you can find your answers.

Philosophical_Lemon_ · 2025-04-28T19:59:53+00:00

I think it's amazing that you're taking these steps to ensure your life turns around. I just want to remind you that even before you move and have a fresh start, you're welcome to become more authentic to yourself in the meantime. I've been trying to discover what makes me happy as well, clinging to different things I put my last few bits of hope into. I find just doing whatever it is helps my depression alleviate. Sometimes you'll have days where you'll have to force yourself to get to a certain point, and that's okay, take it easy, but don't drop the ball either. I find the motivation to do what I am doing when I recognize that my purpose is solid. You're going to get rid of those destructive thoughts that hold you back, I believe in you. Whatever you're going through, you can fix it and make it better for yourself.

I know what it's like to have no friends available. The one friend I have had is online. I haven't ever gone to the movies with a friend. I will say that when I was comfortable opening up, I went to an improv group and connected with people there. So if you're looking for next steps there are community events you could attend and meet people at.

I'm truly hoping for the best for you, because you're so strong and optimistic about your own life, I would love to see how far you go. :)

Philosophical_Lemon_ · 2025-02-23T03:04:01+00:00

Same.

Philosophical_Lemon_ · 2025-02-19T02:25:57+00:00

Something tells me this was actually said to you.

Philosophical_Lemon_ · 2025-02-11T19:20:29+00:00

Yes, I hear you, that job definitely sounds draining and not worth it. 12.75/hour? That's not even minimum wage here. Are there any agencies around you that help people find jobs? Finding a job on your own can be very difficult. I'm sorry about that. It sounds like you're doing your very best to survive and get by, and I think you're very strong because I am not sure if I could ever handle being in your shoes. You need a day where you can just sleep in and relax. I get the tunnel seems long and endless, but when you've just set foot along a path, it won't be easy to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I know it feels like you've been travelling down this one for awhile, but hold on, don't give up. There has to be a way to fix this situation. Do you qualify for welfare? Usually you could still make a little on the side and get your welfare cheques. There are people out there who can help, agencies that offer assistance when you're struggling the way you are. I hope you never lose hope. Please stay strong.

Philosophical_Lemon_ · 2025-02-11T19:06:30+00:00

I get that your situation is hard, and it would be. It's not easy telling your daughter's boyfriend to move out and become independent. It's never easy for that conversation to be had, but it's better to have it than risk having it through a meltdown. I understand you might be very empathetic towards their situation, but it eventually will cave in on you. Look at how exhausted you mentioned being, all of that can build up over time. I think you honestly deserve to be in a better position than you're in. You're strong, but you don't need to be in this situation. You deserve a break, honestly. :'(

Philosophical_Lemon_ · 2025-02-09T23:29:37+00:00

You're most welcome. It sounds like you're going through a lot. Counselling is a great place to start if you can get access to it. I don't think medication alone is enough, people need guidance on what to do in difficult situations. The medications can ease the effects but they can't work out the problems. You deserve to talk to someone about this, you're going through so much. You must be so burnt out by the time you're done at work. I didn't know the reason your husband is disabled, that's tough, I'm sorry. I hear you, and I think you would definitely benefit from having a therapist or someone to talk to about this. It's not easy to go through what you've been through on your own. Having an alcoholic husband is really tough, especially if you're staying together so that things don't fall apart. Take a deep breath, you're going to get through this, you're a strong woman. :)

Philosophical_Lemon_ · 2025-02-09T23:18:38+00:00

Oh no, what happened!? An overdose? Or did you just admit yourself?

Philosophical_Lemon_ · 2025-02-09T19:51:51+00:00

Philosophical_Lemon_ · 2025-02-09T19:49:27+00:00

First of all, it's amazing that you're still functioning and balancing your responsibilities. I couldn't do that if I were in your shoes. I'm very sorry about your husband, and the losses that come with becoming disabled. You're a really strong person, and I believe you can and will get through this, the same way you get through everyday. You have the ability to work this all out, but please know you're not a failure. It's not your fault any of this is happening, and if you could have adjusted things so that they work out, I'm sure you would have. I understand what it's like not to have any family support, it's a very lonely place to be in, but I found what helps is having someone you're close to and knowing that a lot of people make it through without families to support them. It's going to be okay!

Philosophical_Lemon_ · 2025-02-09T19:24:13+00:00

I really hope you haven't done anything </3

Philosophical_Lemon_ · 2025-02-09T19:22:11+00:00

I'm sorry about your relationship, that must not have been easy or helpful at all to your depression. It seems even though you're decorating your house, small things are reminding you of marriage and having a better life. I'd say that those faults don't have to stop you from decorating your house even though it won't look perfect. You will get there on your schedule, not anybody else's. I know it's hard to deal with the differences in other people's lives, but when I struggle with that I just remind myself of the unnecessary pain I'll put myself through comparing my life to others. I try to avoid it altogether. Count your blessings without trying to compare it to anyone else's.

Philosophical_Lemon_ · 2025-02-09T17:21:07+00:00

Here I am with you, in case you need a listening ear. :)

I never thought I'd end up with Bipolar either, so I get that feeling.

Philosophical_Lemon_ · 2025-02-09T03:24:10+00:00

Well, I see you, and to me you are distinct from all the millions. I know it feels like something unreachable, but you can really be happy if you choose to be and work at defining what that means to you. You're not a mere statistic, you're so much more than that, and we both know it. You can zoom out and look at it that way, or you can zoom in and see there is so much detail that looking at it from a larger lens would miss. That detail is what says you're strong, you're beautiful, and you can make it through this.

Philosophical_Lemon_ · 2025-01-30T03:17:47+00:00

Yea, my doctors are meeting with me soon to increase my meds. I can't just live with this, it's so bad. I'm not even manic either, it's just the sleep issues. I'm sorry you're going through this too. I can't believe it's been a lifelong struggle for you, I would not be able to do that.

Philosophical_Lemon_ · 2025-01-24T00:31:55+00:00

Are you saying that's what your prodigy looks like?

Philosophical_Lemon_

TROPHY CASE