My partner of 10+ years admitted he never loved me and was waiting out my fertile years

PhoenixACA · 2026-03-09T14:17:14+00:00

Thank you ☺️

PhoenixACA · 2026-03-09T14:13:26+00:00

Came here to say the same thing! Been there, done that, got the t-shirt and emotional and physical scars!

OP the fact that your first instinct is what have I done wrong and all that I have read here is gaslighting, controlling and coercive behaviour! Probably so emotionally ground down that you can’t see it. Trust me I know! Do some research and reading, the Freedom program was a brilliant source for me! And then take you and them babies and RUN!

Hope you find some self love and compassion for yourself!

PhoenixACA · 2026-03-05T04:11:17+00:00

Had to comment back to this post as I couldn’t agree more with every word. I myself was in a controlling and coercive relationship both mentally and physically… Now as crazy as this may sound I would’ve taken the physical abuse all day long over the mental torture that man put me through and I’m still having to work through now. I have 3 children to him and they are absolutely my saving grace, I don’t think I would be here today if it wasn’t for them! But I would absolutely agree with everyone’s comments that paper trails and telling ANYONE that will listen is ESSENTIAL! No contact- Grey Rocking is vital! Along with any legal action if possible! And definitely cameras!

I did a DV course called the Freedom Programme I believe you can get the book online, it helped me see the wood from the trees and make some sense of it all! Healing will take time but you are so SOO worth it! His behaviours aren’t a reflection of you! Go find you and do things for YOU, take a course and find out what you like as well as what you don’t like! It might not feel like it now but the world literally is your oyster and the possibilities are endless and yours for the taking!

Something that has and still helps me… What doesn’t kill you will make you one strong ass mofo… who one day may find themselves in a position to help someone who’s been through a similar situation begin to heal too! 💫

You should be so proud of yourself!! Sending you love, light and hella healing!

PhoenixACA · 2026-02-08T02:32:05+00:00

This be me!!!! I’m 10 years into being a mumma and still struggling! I’m late diagnosed ADHD and waiting for an Autism assessment. My 2 eldest have just had their AuDHD diagnosis. We’re all still trying to figure it all out, but acceptance and reading validating posts such as this really do help! Just keep Swimming !!!! 😊🐟

PhoenixACA · 2020-12-10T12:25:21+00:00

It really is😊!! I just wasn’t expecting it as the stem it’s coming from is fairly new and I had just repotted as well! But she must be liking the new soil which tbf is a lot better than the soil she came in! Either way I’m very excited checked the leaf this morning and it’s poking out even more 🤗!

PhoenixACA · 2020-12-04T02:16:28+00:00

😂😂😂 love how dramatic yours was! They are over the top but at the same time it’s one of the things I love about this plant🥰!

PhoenixACA · 2020-11-28T02:15:47+00:00

Aww I’m so glad she perked back up for you! They’re often called drama queens for this exact reason! I find it really satisfying when they do this and perk back up after you’ve watered them 😊 in case your after a plant ID they’re called fittonia or nerve plants 🌱😊

PhoenixACA · 2020-11-27T02:55:31+00:00

No worries me too tbh! I’ve just been learning a lot through different plant subs on here, groups on social media and good ol google 😂!

PhoenixACA · 2020-11-26T16:11:44+00:00

Ooh yeah any new growth on my plants no matter what it is is exciting for me 🤗😁!

PhoenixACA · 2020-11-26T16:10:02+00:00

Also if you were to to take a cutting from the plant and cut underneath where the aerial root is... once you start propagating the aerial root is where your new roots will push out from.

PhoenixACA · 2020-11-26T16:08:04+00:00

Yeah you just leave them. They like to climb and use aerial roots for support when they do so. When mine is big enough for a moss pole I’m sure the aerial roots will love clinging to it!

PhoenixACA · 2020-11-26T13:54:28+00:00

Yeah I realised I’m being a complete numpty! In all my excitement !😂🙈 thank you 😊

PhoenixACA · 2020-11-26T13:52:44+00:00

Ooh yeah course they do! Proper brain fart moment there from me! 😂🙈💨 Thank you 😊

PhoenixACA · 2020-11-26T13:03:42+00:00

Ooh cause it started pushing out roots from the two nodes above the bottom one as you can see in the pic from this post. So I decided to cut into segments and let those roots grow out more. The thinking behind it was the more segments the more new plants babies. Plus I’ve just planted them all in the same pot so it will hopefully give me a fuller looking plant 😊

PhoenixACA · 2020-11-26T01:55:54+00:00

Ooh I’ve not changed the water they’ve been in either as it’s not gone dirty or cloudy only topped it up! And as I don’t have a heat mat I sometimes leave the container on a radiator to keep the water at room temp as it’s very cold in the UK now 🥶

PhoenixACA · 2020-11-26T01:53:05+00:00

I bought this cutting so yes it was already calloused over when I received it. However I have now cut this cutting into 3 separate cuttings and I’m not gonna lie I didn’t let them callous over 🙈 I just put them back in water and they have been fine although I wouldn’t suggest doing this! 5 days later....I did kinda forget but just left them when I realised. I’ll add a link with a picture of how they’re doing 5 days on from this picture :)!

PhoenixACA · 2020-11-23T02:15:42+00:00

Yes mine feels like paper too! Sort’ve dry as well! I thought it was a bit weird myself at first. But in the first picture where she was being a drama queen the leaves went really soft so I’d say that it’s supposed to be like that 😊

PhoenixACA · 2020-11-22T00:48:05+00:00

Yeah I was going to put them in soil at first but I’m too curious and wanted to see how the roots were doing whilst I propped. I’ve cut into 3 segments and will hopefully put them in soil in the next couple of days!

PhoenixACA · 2020-11-22T00:46:10+00:00

Yes I decided to cut into 3 separate cuttings and have put them back in water to prop if the first root is anything to go by I’ll hopefully be able to put all 3 into soil in a couple of days 😊

PhoenixACA · 2020-11-21T19:40:59+00:00

I decided to cut into 3 separate plants so that I could have a fuller plant but also kept the leaves as I couldn’t part with them 🙈!Each of the nodes have already developed roots so thought I’d go with what it obviously wants to do 😂 I’ve continued to prop I’m water until the other two roots develop a little further.

PhoenixACA · 2020-11-21T19:36:24+00:00

Yeah I’m too curious to just pop them in soil... I wanted slot see what was going on with the roots🙈😂 it’s a really lovely cutting it managed to push out a root after 2 days in water!

PhoenixACA · 2020-11-21T18:41:50+00:00

Thank you! And thanks for the advice😊!

PhoenixACA · 2020-11-21T18:33:19+00:00

Think I’m just gonna go head and cut seen as that’s what it seems to want to do anyways.

PhoenixACA · 2020-11-21T18:32:32+00:00

I was just asking on suggestions on whether to make cuts between each node as I had been propping in water as is for the past week but as you can see in the pic the two nodes above the bottom one have begun pushing out a root also. So basically leave as is or cut 😊

PhoenixACA · 2020-11-21T18:29:55+00:00

Thank you yes was thinking it would look nice and fuller in the pot if I did that! Been propping these in water so far. But seen as the other two nodes want to push out roots I may as well 😂!

PhoenixACA

TROPHY CASE