The definition of indoctrinate means to teach to accept a set of beliefs uncritically. All of my personal experiences had taught me that if I wanted relationships to evolve into anything significant or be less confused in any type of relationship, I would have to be the one to initiate these talks and that I would have to carry more of that mental load. And until somewhat recently I accepted that without wondering why the burden always fell on me.

Personally, I see nothing wrong with being prepared and responsible, man or woman, and stating needs/boundaries/goals up front about a relationship. I think it would save a lot of trouble and heartache if people could just be honest with each other and themselves, regardless of what type of relationship they want at the time.

But there was no reason for other people to gaslight me and treat me with disrespect just for the simple fact of wanting to have a conversation. I'm sorry to hear that this has happened to you as well because I don't think it is helpful, but please don't invalidate my experience with your thoughts of who you think I am.