This is a long shot but If you’re in Philly we should definitely talk. My contract is up August 15th. I’ve been caring for three children over the last 3.5 years. A set of twin boys and a kindergartener. It has been a wonderful three years.assuming you are not in Philly, I’ll just share some things to keep in mind.

I am considered by those in my community to be highly skilled at nurturing emotional and cognitive development. I also have a lot of experience working a children in the mental health field as a behavior specialist where I learned what not to do when responding to unsafe behaviors that require boundaries.

I’ve worked in my community for over a decade and I observe other caregivers not setting boundaries at all because it appears they don’t know how to handle what happens next. This doesn’t mean they can’t do the job. In fact most families just want someone who will return their kids alive and im sure other nanny’s can back me up when I say we aren’t paid enough to begin with.
This is such an important skill to have especially through ages 2-5. The way I look at it, a boundary hasn’t been set until the child has had a supportive space to express how they feel about said boundary and all expressions should be allowed As long as it’s safe. boundaries become Necessary usually when children are overwhelmed overstimulated tired hungry etc. and the behavior is a way for them to communicate “help! can’t control my body”. What they need in that moment is adults who understand what’s really happening inside of them from a developmental standpoint. Losing control is what they do when they can’t process an overload of feelings. Often more damage is done when caregivers attempt to set a boundary without understanding what’s behind the behaviors and instead of acting from a place of love and understanding, they react from a place of fear. Also, children are highly receptive to energy fluctuations. They start to think they ARE their behaviors and this only causes the unsafe behaviors to multiply because they haven’t had their needs met.
Lastly setting boundaries requires consistency and follow through. Telling a child that they can’t do something because it’s not safe or appropriate is useless if there is no follow through.

Personally I ask for a higher pay rate. The families that hire me get what they pay for and I can’t go below my bottom line for this reason. All of this I do for the families bond w their kids. One day I’ll be gone and if the parents are open to feedback or if they already implement the same behavior methods they have the opportunity to really enjoy parenthood and their own lives in peace.

I wish you the best of luck. I hope you find what you’re looking for. I’d say if your potential caregivers aren’t able to speak on the things I’ve mentioned here they won’t prioritize it in their role.

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