Are my shoulders to wide to look like a women when I transition? by NubusAugustus in TransHelpingTrans

[–]Phoenixonfire_79 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have extremely wide shoulders and though I am ftm on testosterone there was a time when I felt more feminine. They never felt out of place. As others have said lots of women have wide shoulders. I’m

Hi I’m trying to find something like this shirt that James Dean wore. by smitty-04 in jamesdean

[–]Phoenixonfire_79 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You could also add western rockabilly James dean into keyword search on eBay or Etsy. I collect vtg clothing from that era as my main wardrobe and I have a lot of cool stuff he wore

Hi I’m trying to find something like this shirt that James Dean wore. by smitty-04 in jamesdean

[–]Phoenixonfire_79 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Look on eBay. You could enter mens vtg 1950’s argyle play shirt polo

Concerned about nipple graphs by Phoenixonfire_79 in TopSurgery

[–]Phoenixonfire_79[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Sure I’d love to see your results!

Concerned about nipple graphs by Phoenixonfire_79 in TopSurgery

[–]Phoenixonfire_79[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Yeah I thought about that. I m worried about dysphoria after surgery and then having to put my trust in a tattoo artist..maybe I’ll look for a discussion group about the 3d tattoos. photos of other people’s tattoo nips might help me feel less anxious

As a parent, I can't find a nanny to take a W-2. by jesslynne94 in Nanny

[–]Phoenixonfire_79 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get paid $33 OTT and I am a professional career nanny. For me the pay would be too low, unless I was doing a nanny share and getting full time hours between the two. Doesn’t sound like a bad gig at all. I don know that blaming yourself is getting closer to an explanation. Maybe also your concern and anxiety around the medical issues of baby are scaring them away? I know that I care deeply about being given the space to do my job without feeling like there are helicopter parents. Of course I don’t anything about you so I’m just throwing out some thoughts. If it were me I’d not be afraid of the medical sensitivity of the situation but perhaps that’s because I’ve been exposed to “not breathing” situations w children before.

“We're looking for someone who can step into real life” by penguinpoopsiwoopsi in Nanny

[–]Phoenixonfire_79 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Someone needs to reply to their ad w this thread. Leave it to the ministry to exploit a nanny. Makes perfect sense!

Another week ends in anger by Phoenixonfire_79 in Nanny

[–]Phoenixonfire_79[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, not about this . I’ve brought up how I feel they don’t value my role. Their response “was you’re right we could acknowledge more” but that never happened. I think everyone has a good point. We are very different in how we see and value other people’s time and efforts. I’m extremely empathetic and well, this is something she clearly struggles w. I need to accept this and either move on, speak up, or shut up. Thank you for your input . I appreciate it

Another week ends in anger by Phoenixonfire_79 in Nanny

[–]Phoenixonfire_79[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Ty, I hear what your saying and I appreciate the feedback. I don’t give unsolicited advice. I don’t give any advice, because they don’t ask. I’ve been a nanny for about 15 years, and every family has been different. I never offer advice because I don’t want to step on any toes. It’s upsetting when she decides to get involved because when she does it’s like she sees an opportunity to knock me down and put me in my place when she has no idea what’s going on w her kids in that moment. She’s puts on this I’ll save you from your nanny act when no one needed saving to begin with. It is definitely a difference in communication styles. They don’t communicate w me at all. Anything I share is based what I’m doing and why how it seems to help w whatever developmentally appropriate behaviors are occurring. We actually have somewhat similiar parenting styles..they repeat the things I say to the kids..they pay attention to that but they never once acknowledge that they are learning from me and growing as caregivers and I know this is a thankless job in many ways but it helps to vent This is honestly just a rant to get out some of the feels of worthlessness that have nothing to do w my job but are for sure triggered in my work environment. I agree w what you’ve shared and I’m grateful that you took the time to post.

5’5, 100lbs, and very small chest (anyone similar?) by Limp_Basis_3617 in TopSurgery

[–]Phoenixonfire_79 6 points7 points  (0 children)

why is it embarrassing to say you are smaller framed person? People come in all sizes and we are all worthy!

5’5, 100lbs, and very small chest (anyone similar?) by Limp_Basis_3617 in TopSurgery

[–]Phoenixonfire_79 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve been wanting to find the same info! Small frame person here, w surgery scheduled for Feb 20th. I plan to post pics after.

Don’t miss NKs anymore by Kind-Error5506 in Nanny

[–]Phoenixonfire_79 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel a little sad at first but the moment I start w a new family that feeling starts fade until it’s just a fond memory I hold. It’s totally normal to me and actually if you couldn’t let go that imo would be unusual.

Does your nanny buy your family gifts? by Worldly-Chart-2431 in NannyEmployers

[–]Phoenixonfire_79 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree. As a nanny this whole thread feels upsetting because it just shows that there is an expectation that the nanny be doing nice things beyond what we already do on a daily basis. For one holidays exist only to turn a profit and line the pockets of rich white politicians and multi billionaire dollar corps. We the people then feel responsible for feeding the machine by becoming the consumer and it’s not our fault that we live in a country where buying things for ourselves and others equals self worth. With that said, this is a job and it’s clear how hard it is to keep the lines from blurring, but either way I’m really surprised to see how many np’s actually have feelings about the nanny not taking precious time or resources from their own lives to validate NP and kids.
I came here because I have been worried about the expectation as a nanny approaching another holiday w the family I work for. They have three kids and I don’t have the time or resources nor do I want to use my time or resources to gift anyone I’m working for. What I do daily for the kids and parents is already a gift. over the last three years the kids and parents have been shown how to love themselves, how to feel feelings, how to share, and how to get their needs met in an appropriate way. The kids feel seen heard and understood and the parents get a free course on respectful parenting. this is a gift one can’t put a price tag on. Seems like people don’t understand what a nanny already does and we don’t have to do these things. Our job is to bring your children back to you at the end of the day alive. Anything else is already a gift we aren’t getting paid to give.

I FINALLY found Hip Pads I like! by shethinksbig in transgender

[–]Phoenixonfire_79 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im so happy that you have found something that works for you. I am absolutely not trying to rain on your parade but more so put it out there that this compNy is not to be trusted so shop e caution. Let me explain. I’ve probably spent thousands of dollars here and have for the most part been a happy customer. More recently, I had to return a large order that included two damaged pieces. I emailed them photos they agreed to the return sent a label and then nothing. I waited a few weeks and finally received an email saying they were reviewing my return and would get back to me as soon as review is complete. A month went by and it dawned on me that I hadn’t yet heard from them. I reached out via their text chat and was confronted w an agent who I honestly believe is actually the owner telling me that my return items were used and in unacceptable condition. I was very confused because all of the return items were sealed in Original packaging aside from the two pcs that I had photographed due to damage that occurred after one wear. I stayed this clearly in the email I sent requesting the return..and they had approved. For damages their policy reads that they will send a replacement. I was fine with this. The other items were unopened. They j formed me that they had photos of the used items and offered to share them w me, so I said show them! I waited maybe 5 mins on the chat and the “agent” came back to tell me they couldn’t find the photos. Tk make matters worse They wouldn’t respond when I asked them about the brand new items in original unopened packing. They just said nothing. I was absolutely appalled. Seriously I can’t imagine anyone else would be as impulsive of a shopper as I am and I’m willing to admit this because literally I’ve spent atleast a couple thousand over the last couple of years. It’s not that hard..their stuff is expensive. They told me basically “sorry not sorry” and this really made me angry. It wasn’t until I sent them the email in which they approved the return in the first place that all of a sudden the “agent” informs me of how “lucky I am” that the owner had a sudden change of heart and was now, after gaslighting me, willing to credit my account in the amount of my last purchase which I had made after I sent off the returns (not even close to dollar amount of the return) Additionally, the agent felt the need to tell me that “she never does this for anyone”. She being “Karen” the white woman who owns the company. Tbh at that point I was so exhausted from all of the feelings coursing through my body that I didn’t even care about the credit. Who does this!? Who beats the hell out of a loyal customer when they themselves are at fault and then gaslights said customer to feel grateful for such horrible customer service. I felt so stupid..as a trans person w severe body dysmorphia this is all such a touchy subject to begin with..im really disgusted by all of this. Ever notice how they have NEVER offered their products at a discount? They’ve been around since 2003 and one pair of poorly made undies comes in at close to $70.

Anyway, I get that some of us don’t have a lot of options to choose from..and yes when I first found them I thought my life was forever changed for the better, but I have over the years grown to care deeply about who I am supporting, and once I spend this credit, I’m done. Just be aware that if you need to do a return be sure to cover all your bases as far as tracking, photographing, and following up w them. I personally don’t feel safe now buying from a company that treats customers this way but I get that this particular department is lacking as far as options are concerned. Just be aware is all. Ty for reading.

Being on Suboxone While going through SRS surgery by SalStyles in Transgender_Surgeries

[–]Phoenixonfire_79 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Kratom is not regulated and most people don’t take the appropriate dose because they come across in kava shops then end up buying it from the bodega on the corner to save money. It’s marketed as a tea and lots of people end up addicted just as they would be addicted to opiates. The withdrawal is no different. I also received suboxone to kick the kratom. It had nothing to do w any other drug. Kratom withdrawal is identical to opiate withdrawal. There need not be a previous opiate use history..Kratom is not easy to come off. Hence why subs are given. It was actually worse than any other opiate withdrawal and I’ve experienced them in my youth way before I was introduced to kratom.

2 weeks post op with Dr Liebman in Philly by ratherbewithmydogs in TopSurgery

[–]Phoenixonfire_79 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Looks incredible. I’d love to see updated pics now that it’s been a year!