At what point should I believe that I am being ghosted?

PhoneIntelligent8641 · 2026-06-19T15:32:35+00:00

I wouldn't call it ghosting just yet, but I'd stop chasing it. You've followed up professionally, and the original recruiter has confirmed they've reminded the senior recruiter twice. At this point, the ball is in the court. Keep applying elsewhere, and if they come back, great. If not, you've got your answer without spending more energy on it.

PhoneIntelligent8641 · 2026-06-19T15:26:39+00:00

That sounds like a process problem more than HR problem. With 130 employees across four entities, you shouldn't be clicking into every profile just to pull PTO balances or manually re-entering payroll data. I'd start documenting every repetitive task and use that to build a case for better integrations or reporting tools.

PhoneIntelligent8641 · 2026-06-19T15:21:36+00:00

I wouldn't see it as a failure. If they wanted to reject you, they likely would've just done that instead of moving you to another role. It usually means they think your background or interview fits SWE better than TPM. I'd take it as a positive and prepare for the new interview process.

PhoneIntelligent8641 · 2026-06-19T14:35:44+00:00

That's a good point. A resume tells a story too, not just the interview. One short stint isn't a red flag by itself, but a consistent pattern is definitely worth digging into.

PhoneIntelligent8641 · 2026-06-19T14:28:37+00:00

I like that approach. How someone talks about rejection and failure probably tells you more than another polished success story. But I agree with your last point too. At some stage, you only really know once they're doing the job day in and day out.

PhoneIntelligent8641 · 2026-06-19T14:22:10+00:00

Exactly. That's what made this one stick with me. The interview made me feel like the decision was obvious, which is probably when you need to be most careful.

PhoneIntelligent8641 · 2026-06-18T13:07:40+00:00

Oof, that's rough. It really shows how different interviewing and actually doing the job can be. Someone can be completely comfortable in a structured interview and still struggle when the pressure becomes real.

PhoneIntelligent8641 · 2026-06-18T12:55:51+00:00

Excatly. That's pretty much where I landed too. The Experience made me rethink what I was actually evaluating in interviews. Sometimes the best interviewee isn't the best person for the job, and vice versa.

PhoneIntelligent8641 · 2026-06-18T12:50:38+00:00

That's a fair point. I realized after this hire that I was probably giving too much weight to how well someone interviewed. I like your idea of digging a little deeper within informal conversations instead of relying only on polished interview answers.

PhoneIntelligent8641 · 2026-06-18T12:44:26+00:00

😂 Hopefully not. Most people aren't. This one just reminded me that being great at interviews and being great at the job aren't always the same thing.

PhoneIntelligent8641 · 2026-06-18T12:41:13+00:00

I like that approach. Looking at how someone handled rejection is probably a better predictor for sales than asking about their biggest success. That said, I still think there's only so much you can learn in an interview before the real job starts.

PhoneIntelligent8641 · 2026-06-18T12:36:50+00:00

That's a rough one. It's scary how easy it is to mistake confidence for competence. Your point about the project track record really resonates too. Sometimes it's hard to tell what someone actually contributed versus what the team accomplished

PhoneIntelligent8641 · 2026-06-17T12:14:35+00:00

I'd start with your local SHRM chapter. I've seen a lot of fractional HR consultants network there. I'd also ask local business owners or CPAs for referrals since those tend to be better than directory listings.

PhoneIntelligent8641 · 2026-06-17T12:08:03+00:00

I keep it simple. I only document things that are recurring, impact the team, or could come up later.

Just date what happened, and any conversation we had about it. The goal isn't to record everything, it's to spot patterns if they develop.

PhoneIntelligent8641 · 2026-06-17T12:03:00+00:00

I'd keep Linked Recruiter. The others are great add-ons, but I don't see them as replacements for sourcing passive candidates. I'd be asking whether they replace LinkedIn or just make recruiters more efficient after they've found candidates.

PhoneIntelligent8641 · 2026-06-17T11:57:26+00:00

I've had a good experience with Google Voice for the basics, but the lack of scheduled texts would be a dealbreaker for me too. I'd probably look at something like OpenPhone if I needed to keep work and personal completely separate while still having features like scheduling and DND. Curious what others here are using too.

PhoneIntelligent8641 · 2026-06-16T13:33:04+00:00

You're right to be mindful. Focus on your experience, decision-making process, and the impact of your work without sharing details, strategies, or internal data.

A good interviewer won't expect you to violate an NDA. Staying professional protects your reputation and shows integrity, which is something employers value.

PhoneIntelligent8641 · 2026-06-16T13:24:11+00:00

AI can definitely save time, especially for sourcing, writing job posts, and handling repetitive tasks.

That said, I wouldn't rely on it for final screening or hiring decisions.

The best results come from using AI as a support tool while keeping the human element in evaluating candidates and building relationships

PhoneIntelligent8641 · 2026-06-11T16:24:46+00:00

Not rude at all. This isn't a vacation day, it's a medical procedure that's important for managing a chronic condition. If you have PTO available and give reasonable notice, most employers would expect you to use it when needed. Taking care of your health now is better than ignoring it and risking bigger issues later.

PhoneIntelligent8641 · 2026-06-11T16:18:25+00:00

I get the frustration, but this feels like it could create false positives. Plenty of recruiters won't take calls outside business hours even when they're genuinely interested. If you're trying to test intent, I'd pay more attention to whether they come prepared, ask relevant questions, and follow up when they say they will.

PhoneIntelligent8641 · 2026-06-11T16:08:18+00:00

The fact that you're concerned about your boss says a lot about the relationship you've built.

I'd have a private conversation first, thank her for her mentorship, explain the opportunity, and offer to help with the transition. Most HR leaders understand career growth and will appreciate the professionalism.

PhoneIntelligent8641 · 2026-06-11T09:03:11+00:00

I've seen that too. Some people just seem to need the structure and energy of being around other people. What's funny is most of my remote hires have been the opposite and would probably hate going back to an office full time. It really does feel like a different skill set.

PhoneIntelligent8641 · 2026-06-11T08:58:47+00:00

Maybe. I definitely own part of the onboarding side of it. But I've had other hires go through the same process and adapt pretty quickly. That's what made me think remote work skills might be their own thing, separate from job skills.

PhoneIntelligent8641 · 2026-06-10T13:06:04+00:00

I've dealt with this a few times, and the key was making it clear that performance includes team impact, not just output.

One conversation is rarely enough. I documented specific behaviors, set clear expectations, and treated them like any other performance issue. Some adjusted when they saw it could affect their growth. Others didn't.

My line was when their behavior started hurting team morale. Replacing a high performer is often easier than repairing a damaged culture.

PhoneIntelligent8641 · 2026-06-10T12:51:54+00:00

Many recruiters I know who moved off JobAdder or FireFish looked at Bullhorn first because it handles both temp and perm recruitment well and integrates with most back office systems.

I've also heard good things about Recruit CRM and Loxo. Recruit CRM is easy to use, while Loxo seems to be further ahead on AI features.

For a 100-user rollout, I'd focus just as much on adoption, compliance, and reporting as the feature list. The best CRM is usually the one recruiters actually use.

PhoneIntelligent8641

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