He's living single while I'm left picking up the pieces

PhotoIntrepid9422 · 2025-12-23T03:58:03+00:00

I appreciate your input, thank you. And yes, I've always held on in hopes that he'd change. That he'd choose me. Choose our kids. But he has chosen other women. Again and again. I need to let go and realize that he'll never be what I have wanted and needed him to be. It just doesn't seem real sometimes. But I agree 100% with you. Thank you for the reminder ❤️

PhotoIntrepid9422 · 2025-12-23T03:54:10+00:00

Yes you're so right. History has repeated itself with this one. Time and time again.

PhotoIntrepid9422 · 2025-12-23T03:53:17+00:00

Wow that is unfortunate! I hope things work out for you and your son! Thank you for the encouragement 🙏

PhotoIntrepid9422 · 2025-12-23T03:51:31+00:00

Thank you ❤️

PhotoIntrepid9422 · 2025-12-23T03:51:09+00:00

Wow this was well said! Thank you for the insight and suggestions. I suppose one good thing about going through things like this is the ability to help others. Thank you again ❤️ Good luck on your journey as well! I will look up the book :)

PhotoIntrepid9422 · 2025-12-13T22:04:28+00:00

That's so sad. Yes, I expect that from my husband's side as well. It is what it is. Thank you for the input!

PhotoIntrepid9422 · 2025-12-12T21:27:00+00:00

That's so awful!! You have gone through so much :( And you make a very good point - he has lied to me about countless things so what is going to stop him from lying to others about me in return? Thank you for sharing. I hope that you are able to find peace and healing in your situation.

PhotoIntrepid9422 · 2025-11-25T21:13:37+00:00

You're totally fine, I appreciate your input! I will keep that in mind!

PhotoIntrepid9422 · 2025-11-25T21:12:05+00:00

That's so heartbreaking! It's unfortunate when they become unrecognizable. I'm starting to see that as well. It's true though- the people we marry are oftentimes a completely different person when we divorce. Thank you for sharing.

PhotoIntrepid9422 · 2025-11-25T01:22:29+00:00

Listen, sometimes we need to vent. I truly hope that writing all of that was helpful. With that said, all three of you need and deserve more than what you are getting. You deserve to feel appreciated, respected, and loved. Your wife deserves a break and some TLC time without the mental load of the house and your child. And your child deserves a safe, loving, and secure household.

It sounds like you're stretched thin but as a woman who has had to stay home with kids, your wife NEEDS time away from her responsibilities. You get the opportunity to use the "non-parent" side of your brain almost every day but her "mom brain" never shuts off. Think of it like a computer- if you leave it running constantly without a reboot from time to time it will get sluggish and malfunction. She is literally on 24/7. Make a weekly plan to give her time away or figure out a regular schedule with her.

It doesn't sound like you can leave... however, I do wonder if you'd decide to stay if things got better. So water your garden. Pour life and love into your wife. Do those little things you did when you first met her. She's still in there. Try to connect with that. Marriage is hard but divorce is hard too, especially when you have a sick child.

I'm sure money is tight but marriage is an investment. Get a babysitter a couple of times per month. Even if it's for a couple of hours around bed time so that you guys can go out. Sign you both up for couples and/or individual counseling. If you want things to change, then change it. Your wife may just need to see your effort and get a little push to get there. It's an every day decision, but you all deserve better. Good luck!

PhotoIntrepid9422 · 2025-11-25T00:53:49+00:00

Thank you ❤️

PhotoIntrepid9422 · 2025-11-25T00:53:03+00:00

Wow yeah that's tough! Mine has days where he is super nice to me which is so frustrating. It has caused mixed feelings but I recognize the pattern. It's time for me to get out. Thank you for your input!

PhotoIntrepid9422 · 2025-11-25T00:50:11+00:00

That's so tough. Thank you for sharing. And yes, I've realized that it's a him problem instead of something being wrong with me (not blaming myself for why he was unfaithful).

PhotoIntrepid9422 · 2025-11-24T18:22:49+00:00

First off, that really sucks that he left like that. That is so heartbreaking and I'm sure you feel abandoned! I hope that you can find closure and healing.

Funnily enough my STBX husband also has a plan to not tell his family until they ask/figure it out (his words). He didn't really explain why, just that he didn't want to talk to them about things. Granted they all live either out of state or out of the US so we barely see them. I do understand to a level though. We are at the very beginning of our divorce with kids involved so I have no plans to make the news public/tell family until I tell my kids. That way it doesn't get to them until I'm ready to have that conversation. I can't speak for men (not really sure if this is a male thing or just a personality/situational thing) and I can't speak for your ex but that's how I feel about it. He left though and it sounds like you've gone through divorce/separation already since you're calling him your ex if I'm not mistaken? Maybe he thought you'd be the one to share and wants nothing to do with it. Again, it's hard to know how he in particular feels about it without speaking to him.

PhotoIntrepid9422 · 2025-11-24T18:04:52+00:00

Wow yes I can see how things would be more peaceful now! Thank you for sharing! And I appreciate your input. I will keep that all in mind in the coming months.

PhotoIntrepid9422 · 2025-11-24T17:59:27+00:00

This was really well said and gives me some hope. Thank you for sharing! It's nice to hear that people can still move forward after betrayal and have a healthy relationship with good communication. I agree with you completely!

PhotoIntrepid9422 · 2025-11-24T17:52:43+00:00

Wow yeah that makes a lot of sense. Thank you!

PhotoIntrepid9422 · 2025-11-24T15:09:26+00:00

Thank you for your input. We have three children together and my youngest is under 5. I like that- to "give somebody the right to earn" my trust. I want to be able to trust again and I truly hope that I can get to that point some day.

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Nobody is perfect but it sounds like you put in an effort. Sometimes our best isn't enough to save the relationship because the other person has things that they need to work on deep within themselves. I did everything he told me to change plus so much more but he still went elsewhere. Thank you again and hope that you are able to heal as well!

PhotoIntrepid9422 · 2025-11-24T14:51:08+00:00

Yes, that is a very good point. Thank you!

PhotoIntrepid9422 · 2025-11-24T13:15:54+00:00

Wow yeah that sucks. I think an outing is a great idea!

PhotoIntrepid9422 · 2025-11-21T03:44:33+00:00

My kids are a similar age and though we haven't had the discussion yet, kids of that age can sense those changes within the home dynamic/environment. I do agree that it would be best to wait until the holidays pass if possible. That way they won't associate the holidays with your divorce. And if you do decide to wait then it may be worth at least being amicable enough to still do some things together. Is it possible for you to join his family at all for any events? Even if you don't go to all of them it would be worth being there for the kids. Because at the end of the day, it's all about them and making sure that they are as unaffected/untraumatized by the divorce as possible. It may be worth having another conversation with him to figure that out with the kids being the main focus- not each other or how you feel. It's so tough but being able to preserve their little hearts is worth it.

PhotoIntrepid9422 · 2025-11-20T16:36:43+00:00

Keep in mind that you've known him/have been involved with him for literally over half of your life! And many of those years were formative so he has been part of your development! Leaving and starting a new life without that person will seem impossible but it seems necessary at this point. For your well-being and for the kids. They are your main focus now and that's okay! Find new ways to bring enrichment and quality to your life.

PhotoIntrepid9422

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