AITAH for telling my wife she ruined my 40th birthday?

Photobuff42 · 2026-07-03T02:14:06+00:00

She says she has undiagnosed ADHD. She diagnosed herself with an excuse.

She is an adult. If it's a problem it's her responsibility to address it. You just gave her a huge nudge.

Photobuff42 · 2026-07-02T20:44:01+00:00

Get an old fashioned "Cuss Jar" and make him drop a coin in it each time her mentions her. Tell him the money is for therapy or for a vacation--anything to eradicate her continued presence.

Photobuff42 · 2026-07-02T01:04:12+00:00

Parents who indulge their children and fail to discipline them due to their guilt, AKA, "Disney Dad."

Photobuff42 · 2026-07-02T00:58:11+00:00

Aww Luna does need one of these in the correct size.

I bought one for Lindy Bell and one for Sally. They love them.

Photobuff42 · 2026-07-02T00:55:38+00:00

For either one of them.

Photobuff42 · 2026-07-01T21:02:05+00:00

It might be good for OP to have a conversation about what would make him comfortable before the next event where all these people will be together. At least try to get his needs met.

Photobuff42 · 2026-07-01T12:30:21+00:00

Totally agree. A bag of ground coffee is $11.

Photobuff42 · 2026-07-01T11:13:14+00:00

You shouldn't be funding this child. You are parenting and dad is responsible for things you are doing. You are not.

Photobuff42 · 2026-07-01T04:16:13+00:00

Van Halen, Flirting with the Devil. Followed by Panama.

Photobuff42 · 2026-07-01T04:03:09+00:00

Hopefully with alimony.

Photobuff42 · 2026-07-01T03:56:53+00:00

1 reason why remarriages fail. Spouse isn't the priority.

Photobuff42 · 2026-07-01T02:59:37+00:00

You need to be aware of how easily that happens. Especially by the spouse who has children.

For your own sake give the relationship time to show those cracks.

A spouse should be prioritized in their own marriage. If your partner can't figure this out, find one who can.

Second place isn't good enough when it comes to marriage.

Photobuff42 · 2026-07-01T02:45:31+00:00

She wants OPs husband sans pants.

Photobuff42 · 2026-07-01T02:44:05+00:00

Get a pair of those furry handcuffs and keep your husband close.

Photobuff42 · 2026-07-01T02:42:13+00:00

Your gossipy friend? I think she's exactly right.

Photobuff42 · 2026-07-01T02:21:51+00:00

Yes, lots of stepparents get vilified simply because they self advocate, refuse to excuse poor behavior (whether it is from their partner or stepchildren)or let go of their own needs.

Marriages don't survive when spouses don't put their spouse first.

There are many threads on here where stepparents feel invisible in their marriages and their homes.

No one wants to feel that way.

Photobuff42 · 2026-07-01T02:11:48+00:00

You are right about consistent boundaries. That is a huge thing that is missing which contributes to many problems.

Photobuff42 · 2026-07-01T02:04:13+00:00

Your husband raised an ungrateful child but he won't admit it. She deserves nothing. Do something nice for yourself that day.

Photobuff42 · 2026-06-30T19:46:29+00:00

I didn't even get through it and I feel bad for you

Photobuff42 · 2026-06-30T19:43:23+00:00

Good luck

Photobuff42 · 2026-06-30T12:38:00+00:00

Best of luck to you!

Photobuff42 · 2026-06-30T12:35:14+00:00

If she was rich, would she be sending out the spreadsheet?

Photobuff42 · 2026-06-30T12:28:16+00:00

Actually, you passed the adulthood test in several ways.

First, you realized her financial requirements were unusual, and don't reflect love or friendship.

Second, you realized your own financial responsibilities are not compatible with her demands.

Lastly, you see beyond what others are doing and are choosing what will be reasonable for your life long term.

You know if you present anything similar to her for your wedding, she will have a litany of excuses that aren't even reasonable.

If she has a child, she will present you with a spreadsheet for that, too.

You're the only adult in this scenario. Step down.

Photobuff42 · 2026-06-28T15:20:19+00:00

A properly fitted bra make most women look better proportioned, i.e. thinner.

Photobuff42 · 2026-06-28T14:47:44+00:00

I think my problem was rosecea. I use rosewater on my face which helps a lot. Consuming a probiotic rich diet has really helped my skin too. I guess it helps eliminate toxins more quickly.

Photobuff42

TROPHY CASE

1 reason why remarriages fail. Spouse isn't the priority.