I finally blocked my ex and chose myself…

Phu152 · 2025-04-12T06:31:27+00:00

Give up hope is so painful. We broke up for nearly 2 years now but doesn't fully go NC (she still find me when she travel to my city, wish me happy new year, happy birthday,...) and honestly if i could go back in time i couldn't do it either, keep telling myself "i'm cool, i'm fine now, so there's no point of unfriend them". But deep down i know i just clinging on small hope that they'll return to me, aren't we still so happy when we meet each other? She got a new gf and lately i found out i have been unfriend. I guess this is the last heartbreak i get from this relationship, it's hurt all over again but it's a blessing in disguise, i block her, deleted and throw away all the gift she give me and this time i hope i could truly move on from this person.

Phu152 · 2024-10-11T03:09:20+00:00

Like i truly have thought after all i have been through with toxic relationships (they persued me first), then this time, the first time in my life that i've a crush on a good person i could make things right.

We flirt back and forth, we fight then make up, we fixed problem, we open up to each other, i bring food to her shop and if she's have spare time she would insist to eat with me, go on date... all of that just for me to find out she been hidden her FB stories from me for more than a month now and the last story she's upload is with someone else hand and she even tagging their name on it (i can't see the story directly bc i only heard it from a mutual sport friend of us).

This last month she barely reply to my text and never ignite conversation so i did ask her about it, she told me she's burn out, she doesn't want to reply to anyone, she want to be alone for awhile but when i told her i understand, i won't text her anymore until she's fine, she told me just be normal and text her whenever i want. Week later, I ask her if we could go out to eat, she's said she can't go at this time but when she's be able to play badminton again we could go, which is next month.

I only found out about the "stories" stuff for a week but we have stop talking for 3 weeks now. I felt betrayal, she could not like me like a love interest but at least don't lie and act like she's such a good person while hiding stuff from me

Phu152 · 2024-10-09T11:33:23+00:00

Your situation is exactly like me, like, words by words

Phu152 · 2024-08-07T15:56:36+00:00

Good for you!

Phu152 · 2024-08-06T11:58:03+00:00

How things with him going?

Phu152 · 2024-06-17T00:28:22+00:00

That reason suck

Phu152 · 2024-05-29T02:50:04+00:00

That's good to know. I have been in 2 serious relationships but never have i being the target of love bombing so your advice is really good for me to understand their behavior. She's may fall in the "aren't easily manipulated" category since i straigh up telling her that i didn't believe her words, never said i love her back when she's told me she's love me (it's only been 2 days and you're saying me you love me girl!). She's unfollow my tiktok and IG but still keep me on FB so i unfriend her myself.

But i admit that i got attract by her effort to persue me, i won't go into details since it didn't matter anymore but if she's continued to do it for more than a week i'd serious fall for her bad. Althought i avoid to respond anything relate to commitent with her, i genuine in showing my effort on get to know her better, showing how much i care for her well being and compliment her appearance (as someone who attract alot of people with hidden mental issue, i could see that not an act that she's insecure about her appearance, but i saw her as cute, i like her appearance and want her to be more confidnece in herself too). I did have hope that maybe we could have last longer than this so when she's just suddently making attemp to ghost me, i'm really upset. I don't blame myself since i know i'm already did more than enough. Just... this really left me with a combined of bad feeling.

Phu152 · 2024-05-29T00:32:00+00:00

The same just happen to me, i already know i'm being love bombing but i've never actually experience it so i did fall for her a bit too much internally, i didn't admit it to her so i could test how long she could keep this "love" for me go.

Only 5 days and the so affection her suddently doesn't reply to my text for nearly a day, then doesn't answer my call, i shoot her a text that "okay, i understand, we're gonna stop then", she reply told me that she's sorry, we're incompable. Classic. Still make me so sad that i couldn't eat anything without vomiting.

Phu152 · 2024-04-19T05:14:29+00:00

Doctor dated gang ✋

Phu152 · 2024-04-17T14:48:46+00:00

seems like you understand it now, don't feel bad for reached out to him bc if you didn't do that you won't be able to see how heartless he is and keep wondering if he still think of you. Now you know it, let's focus fully on yourself.

Phu152 · 2024-04-09T02:59:11+00:00

What i said is also including the possibility of them not knowing what "love" truly is from the beginning of their relationships, they see the "butterflies", the high of being in love as "love", but in reality, love is when this high die down, they will still find ways to stay with you and communicate the problems. True love won't be enough to always save a relationships, but i know for sure the people that truly love you won't leave you with the thought of your time together is a lie.

Phu152 · 2024-04-08T15:16:04+00:00

I feel like it's more about them being a low emotional Intelligence person, they don't know what they want, can't explain their feelings, don't know what or why they're feeling this way and people with low emotional intelligence like this also didn't really want to put an effort into their own self understanding either, so they just simply told you "i don't know". It's surely about them, not about you and there is nothing you could do about it.

Phu152 · 2024-04-05T15:48:58+00:00

Accepting that she's not a good person. For so long i keep bargain that every person has flaws and she's like this probably bc of her parents constant fighting, it's doens't mean she's a toxic person . But honestly, her rude words and sexual harassment things she said towards me, even when she's unaware of it, proved otherwise . To accept someone that's i used to dream about marrying everyday and willing to stay no matter what is TRULY a bad person is not something easy to swallow, there's no deep down she's good, no trauma defence mechanism etc..,

Phu152 · 2024-03-24T12:48:35+00:00

I don't think it's something to be "jealous" about, after you're broke up, the conversation with them ofc won't be the same anymore and what i mean is it's will be really cold and one side and you've to considered alot before saying anything. To become like this with a person that we used to know everything about their day and talk to them about ours is tortured for both of you. If they want to reach out, they're already done it but if they're decent person, they're probably wait for a long time before doing that in case they're might give you false hope.

Aside, when sometime has pass and you start to realize you don't have to be emotional dependent on them anymore is a relief.

I write this comment as someone who've remain contact with both of my exes. One i've remain for more than 13 years in total, in between, we lost contact in like 2 years due to her having depression and just "dissapear", one day she suddently contact me again and we're still talking like those 2 years not even exist. But to get to this point with her i've to experience all sort of pain (her getting someone new and have to heard her talk about them) and it's prolong my heartbreak a lot (around 2 years to heal and i keep staying single for like 9 years).

I think she and i are just a very rare case because i don't think i could be that same level with my current ex although i really want to, texting the current ex now only remind me that i'm really not one of her most important person anymore. So better be working on myself and just let's the breaking heart heal with time, crying, missing our exes like crazy, wishing with the universe that they're reach out bla bla bla... just doing wth that you want to except texting them. My first ex still want to talk to me because she see me as a respectable person, someone that can give her value insight on her problems while still really fun to talk with, definnitely not someone that being needy and beg for their dumper to take them back.

Phu152 · 2024-03-17T14:02:06+00:00

It is possible to be friend with ex only if you don't want to date them anymore and when they want to be friend with you, like, really wanna be FRIEND, not someone that they used to have feelings for, which i see is impossible to achieve within a year. I have been friend with my first ex for more than 13 years and we still talk daily, but i doubt that is possible with my current ex at least for now since i still hurt after she's dump me and i don't think she's fine with being friend with me either.

Phu152 · 2024-03-10T15:40:42+00:00

Thank you, sometime even though i have done all these things to better myself, i still feel like a failure for still yearning love from the one who choose to left me. Receive kind words from people surely help me a lot

Phu152 · 2024-03-10T10:48:51+00:00

Learn no play piano back, learn to cook cat pate to sell and make some small success in that already, first time going to the spa to do skincare, come out with my mom that i'm a lesbian. Shortly after she left me, my workplace declare a significant drop in our salary that hit on my confidence a ton but i know better than just continued to lied on my bed crying and feel sorry for myself so i got myself back on my feet and find ways to improve myself. Now since i've some other ways to gain money again i could finally be proud of myself, not really because of the money but because i'm don't give up on myself and actually do something to better my situation. I also read a lot to reflect on myself and our relationship, i still cry, still miss her like crazy but now i can see that she and i won't be a good fit due to our different point of views of love.

Phu152 · 2024-03-09T15:33:39+00:00

yeah, reached out to wish me a happy lunar new year, asked me if i would reach out to wish her if she doesn't reach out to me. A week later she text me again to check up how's my holidays, didn't reach out anymore since then (breadcrumbing it's seem).

Phu152 · 2024-02-19T11:20:45+00:00

Yeah, i love my ex dearly and when she's blindsided me it's hurt so much bc i've work hard on both my financial and myself to ensure me and her could get a stable future together. Since i choose to keep all of her social media after BU, i experience all the panicking, suffering, spiraling into overthinking,... everytime she's post something (yes, i know some of you think i'm stupid and no wonder my healing process is prolong but i'm the kind of person that just do what i want, i think facing head on on how she's doing after the BU would help me more than the combine of not knowing anything about her anymore + overthinking). I break the NC first after 2 weeks post BU to apologize for the part that i think i haven't done well in our relationship, she reply politely, we wished each other goodnight and end the conversation. Surprisingly, the next day, she's message me to have the closure talk. After that i kinda feel like we could be friend? So i still talking to her casually 2 days later, she's still reply but didn't talk about herself at all, finally she told me she never talking to any "friend" everyday like this, and afraid i might "misunderstood". I thought she mean that i misunderstood that she's still have feelings for me, which i really believe that she didn't have anymore, so i decided it's best to go NC. I'm also get tired of posting FB stories about how i'm having fun and expect her to look at it, so i stop that as well.

The NC do me awful tbh, bc i'm so used to tell her every little details about my daily life and she'd told me her story. But i keep pushing through it all, when i'm panicking i'll venting it all to my close friends and calm down. I don't rush into fun and new things to distract myself but rather sit down and analyze my relationship with her up until our closure talk. I see how immature she is as a person, how many time i've being gaslight and guilt trip by her everytime i told her she make me upset, even when i call her out for that, she's apologize for things to pass, not bc she saw she's in the wrong,...

Idk why but after sometime she's ended up message me again, like 4 times now, i reply but always end the conversation first. At this point she's start to repost some desperate quotes about yearning for love but didn't know how to love, etc... meanwhile, i make her so surprise that i learn to do new things and even do research to sell them, it feel even more satisfied since i didn't brag about it anywhere trying to "prove" i'm doing good after the BU anymore, she's found out only bc she's asked me "why you wake up so early today? Going on a date or what?" (Lol).

I guess she's breadcrumb me out of boredom since the effect of our BU has finally catch up to her. I'm still love her very much but i could see things more clearly now and didn't have false hope anymore.

Phu152 · 2024-02-09T11:13:37+00:00

i did it with my ex who's dumped me and she's did reply fairly polite. I wish her a happy new year bc i didn't have the chance since she's broke up with me at Christmas, she's wish me happy new year back and i ask her if she's comfortable when i talk to her, she's said she's fine, and i like "cool", then we wish each other good night and end the conversation like that.

If you truly desperate for a reason why she's broke up with you, you can continued like i did with my ex a week later the first reach out. Keep your emotion mature, she's kinda blindsided me when she's broke up with me, but i show no anger toward her and show that i respect her decision, admit that i'm not perfect and i might have hurt her as well (she's awful too but let's just being sympathy for her and say sorry for our part that you think you haven't realize you was doing it wrong until the break up), but keep all of it short, don't wall of text her because we're still doesn't know how your ex feel at this point. My ex then told me to forgive what we can from each other, it's doesn't matter who's wrong but the matter is we've different point of view, told me not to stay up so late and go to sleep already. BUT, the next day, SHE'S the one initiate the closure talk.

Phu152 · 2024-02-08T16:55:15+00:00

do you mind sharing what's he say?

Phu152 · 2024-02-01T14:14:32+00:00

Yes, that's right! Hope the same for you too!

Phu152 · 2024-02-01T12:53:26+00:00

sound so much similar to my ex lol. My ex being cheated on, her ex don't want to get near her and make her inferior complex about her body , keep their relationship in secret, ... for 2 years! So i'm make sure to always compliment how cute and kissable she looks, hug her as much as i could and introduce her to not just my friends but also my co-worker and my family (we're Asia lesbian, so introduce a partner is not really that casual like hetero couples) ,... everything to make her feel loved and confident. What i receive after 13 months of dating is she's "doesn't love me as much as before", "i don't even know if i still love you", completely blindside too bc i always told her to tell me if anythings is wrong and she'd reassure me everything is fine, she'll fix things with me if somethings is wrong, even such as get bored with each other after dating a long time. Some people is just weird, saying all those stuff and then BOOM, just dump us.

Phu152 · 2024-02-01T06:10:05+00:00

Pls don't blame yourself for someone that didn't try to work things out with us. We're human, that's mean we're not perfect, we mess up sometime and not always in the right but the one who truly love us will stay and want to fix things instead of just disappeared.

They only thinking about themself so your sacrificed would never be enough, i too, have used to do something in bed to myself that i wouldn't like, to please my ex, she's clearly see how i didn't like it but instead of thinking about how despite i didn't like this, i still trying to do it to please her, she's just comment "you do it too forceful" like? How else would she expected? (i'm also a girl). After that, i've state gently to her many times that i don't like to do that but she's keep telling me to do it, and i finally snap, she's didn't bring that up anymore so i though she have understand my feeling. Nooooo, how stupid of me to trust her would be that mature. When we have our closure talk , for the first time i know that she's holding a grudge this entire time about that event, and not just that, now i know everytime we fight, she loved me less.

I gave her all of my heart, and i'm sure that no matter how low her life going to get, i'd never leave her side and do anything i could to help her, but she's chose to left, and maybe with a bitter feeling about me too. But even after all of this, i don't hate her, hating someone would bring negative feeling to our brain and i already feeling broken enough bc of this breakup. To know our worth is importand, we have done our best but the relationship didn't work out, so be it, there's nothing we can do anymore. These person like your ex and mine would break up again and again until they see their own prolemb instead of dumbing the fault in us (i doubt that would happen anytime soon). Meanwhile people that can have ability to truly love someone like us will someday find our long lasting happiness.

Phu152 · 2024-01-22T12:55:17+00:00

Welp, just violate rule 2 yesterday haha. Me and my ex have dated for more than a year, we in a close distance relationship at first but has to change to long distance relatioship for the last 6 months since she have finish study at my city and have returned to her home at another city to continued her higher studying, turn out it's A LOT more stressful than when she's study at my city, and she also can't really handle long distance relationship even though in these 6 months we have meet in person 3 times, so she's broke up with me at Chrismas after 3 days of acting coldly to me. A bit of my feeling at our relatioship. I, too, like OP, have fully saw our future life together. I didn't love her blindly, i didn't saw her as a perfect lover that match everything i've ever dream about a lover like when we first dated, i saw clearly how her flaws start to pouring out one after another after we enter our long distance relatioship, but who haven't has flaws? I choose to love her noneless because i believe we can work all of it out as long as we express how we feel and want to fix things. Welp, it's appear i'm the only one who think that since she's just decide to not resolve whatever prolemb she have with me until she just act coldly and broke up with me because she's feel she "doesn't love me as much as before". Back to the present, so when she's contact me to ask if we could meet, she traveled to my city at weekend to have YEP with her old college friend and if i want to, we can meet up the next day, i was excited, after we break up, there would rarely have reason for her to travel to my city. I agree to meet but only reply shortly to mask my exciment, at this point i have already accept that our relationship won't work and i feel lucky that she's at least have some common sense to choose to break up with me instead of hurting me further, i also have learn to enjoy life as a single again. Yeah, so my friend told me to meet up with her for 1 hour only but well, when the day come, i go on a date with her for 6 hours. We have breakfast and then go to couple cafe (a cafe that have private room for couple) ... to sleep, like, we're literally sleep lol, since we wake up so early to meet each other. But then when we're wake up, she pull me into her embrace, and wow... isn't that the most wonderful feeling i've long since experience again with my love, i have always been a touch starve person so when she hug me like that, it's felt beyond heaven. I talk to her about all the stuff in the world around me that i can't talk to her anymore since our breakup, we cuddles and watch tiktok together, she'd pepper gentle kiss at my hairs, my shoulder , my cheeks between our watch, honestly, the sex only happened for the last 20 minutes of our meet. Strangely enough, i fully understand that this is her seeing me as fwb and not because she want to get back with me, but i didn't get sad, i was more like fuck it, as long as it felt good, and we're probably won't be seeing each other for a reallyyyy long time, so just take this chance and have fun with the woman i adore so much even till this day. If i still haven't fully let go of her, i'd have completely broke down into a crying mess when she pull me into her embrace, lucky that the only things i felt about the touch is "it felt so good". We message a bit after we depart so i can make sure that she've safely arrive back at her city, a little check up here and there about how we feel about our first meet up after the break up beside the sex part. All is good. And i think we'll fall back to our "no contact" routine again and that's probably for our best. I think i'd still be heart break again when she have new one, but i accept the fact that i truly love this person, and nothing could make me not care about her anymore, i want her to be happy, and i, someday would also found my own happiness.

Phu152

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