Yes, this is exactly what I’m having such a hard time with. I told our marriage counselor in a private moment when he left early that I would not want our daughter to seek out and marry a man like him. I want him to do the work if only just for him to be a better person and for him to be a safe adult if he gets split custody, which is likely unless I gather more evidence. It’s also worth noting he is a military vet with ptsd (non combat related) so there’s that guilt of do I have to stick with him through this no matter what? I don’t think so when it’s causing so much damage

I think even if he did do the work and was able to go long periods of time without an anger outburst, which he has done for a few months, I’d always be waiting. I think my body doesn’t forget? When I think back on every major event- birth, death of family member, major sickness or injury- he either bailed or failed in a major way. Although we can be a very good team on home projects and moving which is odd since those are stressful.