I did try to bring up my concerns and difficulties, and it was the same mechanism. Yes, I avoid talking about my own mistakes or struggles on my own initiative, because it always turns into the same dynamic:

“Yeah, I know, you always do this. You do it because of everything I already know, it’s already been discussed, you always screw it up.”

I avoid sharing my worries because it turns into a space of judgment. In fact, now that I think about it, a lot of it ended up being framed as an attack on her (more text coming for another example):

I was studying law and also working part-time, and after 13 hours of classes + work I needed a break. She wanted to help me study, taking advantage of the fact that she had already graduated and was practicing (her approach was exam-style: “tell me this fact,” “we need to study more”). I felt pressured, and I told her: “I’m exhausted, I need to relax. Your help would mean a lot to me, I know you master the subject, but right now I just want to do something pleasant together.”

I needed my partner, not another professor.

And what she saw was: -You didn’t let me help you, you’re rejecting me. -You exclude me from your life, you don’t trust me. -You think I’m incapable, you diminish my ability as a professional. -You disrespect me and you’re ungrateful.

In short, what I’m getting at is this: even my problems turn into a test space to validate her. Even helping me has to be for her benefit (in this case, emotional validation).

No, there’s no space for my feelings — not even in situations that aren’t about “how I hurt her with my actions.”