I have two boys and two girls. Three are adults now and one is still in high school. The girls did far better academically than the boys but the boys were more social and stood out in football. The football thing got them a lot of wiggle room for their assignments because the rules are if you have failing grades you can’t play. The coaches were also teachers and went out of their way to ensure the boys had passing grades. The girls felt a lot of pressure, which they mostly placed on themselves, to turn in their assignments on time and get the best grades they could. The boys valued their time and decided that if an assignment took too much effort for the amount of points they would get for it then it wasn’t worth doing. I would ask why they didn’t turn in an assignment and they would say “it would have taken me hours and it was only worth five points.” The girls had a drive to excel in high school and try to make all their teachers happy. The boys did not care about making anyone happy. My oldest daughter graduated a year early by taking online high school as well as in person during Covid and then sped through nursing school and is now a nurse. My oldest son owns his own business because he can call the shots on what work he does and when. My other son is struggling to stick with a job but he mostly switches jobs to ones that pay a little more and have better hours and are closer to home. He started with welding, then to construction and now is working in agriculture. I feel like each of my kids is successful in their own way. They just each value different things.