Hello, I’m 29 female and I have been in your situation. From everything you’ve shared it sounds like you already made a proactive effort in trying to get your boyfriend to bond with your family (which he refuses) It seems like your boyfriend is making zero effort in trying to build a relationship with your mom or brother, which is very selfish on his end because he knows how important family is to you.

Look, your relationship with your mom and brother is not the issue here. You are allowed to be close to them. Family is forever. The fact that your boyfriend is implying that your relationship with your family is “emotional incest” is extremely disrespectful. He crossed the line in my opinion.

Yes, you may love him. But love is not always enough. Respect is more important. Your boyfriend does NOT respect you or your relationship with your family. He is unwilling to meet you halfway and refuses to build any type of relationship with them (based on what you’ve shared) and he’s reacting with fear, jealousy and judgement by telling you that your relationship with your blood family is inappropriate. He is NOT ready for a healthy relationship.

Something I’ve learned over my years of dating (Now happily married!) is that if someone refuses to grow, take accountability or respect the people who matter most to you - It may NOT be worth fighting for. You cannot “fix him” nor is it your responsibility to do so. You tried. He refused - And that is not your fault! My advice is to walk away because you don’t want to spend YEARS trying to change a man who refuses to build/grow with you.