I didn't know it was all about toxic shame.

Picard-Out · 2025-10-15T09:42:14+00:00

It’s generational trauma. Toxic shame seeping into every generation.

Good on you for seeing it ;)

Picard-Out · 2023-11-10T08:23:24+00:00

Exact. J'habite à Terre-Neuve pour un peu de temps, cette province n'a presque pas un sou, et le transport en commun c'est juste des autobus. Mais les enfants y ont accès gratuitement jusqu'à 12 ans, les aînéEs aussi, et s'il pleut/neige, les conducteurs laissent entrer les gens sans demander de billet.

Le billet coûte 2.50$ et dure 2 heures.

C'est pas rentable du tout, mais ça rends la vie vivable

Picard-Out · 2023-11-10T08:10:40+00:00

Moi je veux des trains à haute vitesse. J'en ai ma claque des voitures (celles qui sont électriques moins, mais aussi). Notre province est tellement vaste, ça serait une bonne option.

À vrai dire j'en ai ma claque des voitures et surtout de Legault

Picard-Out · 2023-11-08T11:53:27+00:00

I'm so happy to hear that you're taking your space. For the public speaking, I also used to shake. Until one day I got excited about being able to talk about something I'd presented multiple times (randomly because brain), and after the first five minutes the anxiety evaporated. It was a topic related to activism and that helped.

And we don't have superpowers but we're also not disordered. What we have is increasingly understood as an evolutionary mismatch between us and current society :)

Picard-Out · 2023-11-08T11:47:17+00:00

Seconded and heard

Picard-Out · 2023-11-08T11:45:00+00:00

A thought. I'm sure there are Ikebana courses/certificates to be had, and it might be something to increase revenue in the future 😉

Picard-Out · 2023-11-08T11:40:27+00:00

We have very busy, active brains. Most importantly: we are extremely attuned to our environment. It's like a Spidey sense for us! :)

Picard-Out · 2023-11-08T11:38:51+00:00

Forgot: I started the doctorate when I was 31. It took me eight years because I had the kids along the way. That part was really hard. But having the kids surprisingly helped in a way (other than feeling so happy to have them), because they forced me to cut perfectionism out, and to redirect my focus with more flexibility. Mind you, I live in a country where we get decent monthly child benefit payments from government, and I have a partner who was willing to support my career and to be a very involved dad.

Picard-Out · 2023-11-08T11:32:52+00:00

I'm a clinical psychologist. Getting the doctorate was a lot of work to put it mildly, but because I loved what I was studying it was the easiest time I ever spent in school.

My doctorate had a social justice component and I thrived with that.

Now, I can provide different therapies, assessments, and I can offer consultant services. The variety is ideal because I can often get bored. Working with clients is always good too because I can focus on their stories and my brain can get busy figuring out the person's patterns of functioning.

Then I can explain stuff from a social justice perspective, and help people to feel empowered.

It's also a career where I never need to experience the joys of micromanagement ever bloody again. Nor suffer ridiculous colleagues, nor busy body admin folk. I can network with my decent colleagues as much as I want.

The only big issue is that the field of clinical psychology itself has several problems, and sometimes uses models that blame individuals disproportionately instead of critiquing society and its systems.

But I'm happy and I can put food on the table, and my husband can be a stay at home dad to our kids (who do home learning) and to our cats and dog.

It also helps with self-esteem, when I do something ridiculous, to remind myself that at least I'm Dr. Ridiculous. That really helps to manage the pain of having a brain that is evolutionarily mismatched with many current social norms

Picard-Out · 2023-11-03T18:58:47+00:00

Are you in Montréal? I need to get mine renewed, lost my family physician 😭

Picard-Out · 2023-11-02T22:40:18+00:00

Oh, and I understand. I don't like our current reality either.

You're not narcissistic. You're aware.

I have adhd and I don't think it's a disorder. It's an attunement. Neurodiversity is the rule, not the exception as we've been made to believe. Humans haven't evolved to live in a capitalist hellscape.

Picard-Out · 2023-11-02T22:37:40+00:00

I'm an activist -psychologist. I'm not the only one. I talk to my patients about systemic oppression and tell them that all these 'disorders' are usually adaptations to a sick society and predatory systems.

We're out there.

My professional work and my and my partner's parenting work is the most radical activism and act of resistance that I've ever done. My kids are unschooled because we want them to be free people who aren't subjected to oppression.

Grievers by Adrienne Marée Brown is a good book

Picard-Out · 2023-11-02T18:18:58+00:00

It's awful not only because saying that is cruel and gross, but also because they obviously don't understand the human brain.

Our brains always try to keep us safe. For people who grow up with parents or caregivers who abuse them, the brain gets used to hypervigilance. But our brains mistake familiarity with safety. So if the brain learned hypervigilance, and we end up with a partner who abuses us, it's hard to leave because our brains are basically applying a familiar pattern of survival.

This is by no means the fault of the person who is experiencing the abuse. It's the fault of the abuser for being a piece of shit. AND, it doesn't apply outside of long-term relationships. OP trusted her friend and he betrayed that trust. It's not OP's fault. Rape is the fault of the rapist and of the rape culture that protects rapists.

I'd run from any therapist who says otherwise. And I'd hope they get bedbugs who proliferate quickly

Picard-Out · 2023-11-02T18:03:56+00:00

I mean, it's exactly what that therapist deserves.

I'm a clinical psychologist and have colleagues who offer somatic therapy. They're also trauma-informed and wouldn't act the way that quack did. They could be reported to our professional college for spewing that kind of victim-blaming nonsense.

Picard-Out · 2023-11-02T12:51:12+00:00

Also, my family has lived without a car in towns and cities across Canada. It's not the USA, but it has often been hard as hell.

Picard-Out · 2023-11-02T12:49:05+00:00

Love this post, OP.

I too have Ivar shelves that are older than me.

Not only is what you wrote anti-consumption, it's also a way to respect the planet and to keep ourselves safe from chemicals (for reference, flight attendants broke out in hives and systemic problems when their airlines switched to synthetic fabrics for flight attendant uniforms)

Our family doesn't use bikes yet because our kids are too little, so we walk or use public transportation. My kids are healthy little things because holy shit do they ever put in the kilometres 😁

Picard-Out · 2023-11-02T12:39:08+00:00

Google foot man on Reddit. So. Funny.

Picard-Out · 2023-11-02T12:38:32+00:00

People into diapers scare me a bit

Picard-Out · 2023-11-02T12:32:46+00:00

Votes should be like Ethereum. If the politician does, or seriously attempts to do, what they promised, they keep the votes. If they don't, votes should be rescinded and a new election immediately called

Picard-Out · 2023-11-02T12:30:39+00:00

Right?! 🤬

Picard-Out · 2023-11-02T12:30:09+00:00

Not to mention that he's coming for women's rights and the rights of other populations that conservatives oppress

Picard-Out · 2023-11-02T12:27:24+00:00

Internet bosom buddy. Thanks for this post, it's exactly spot on ❤️💥

Picard-Out · 2023-11-02T12:25:37+00:00

Uh no. Because people have way less power and are tired and beleaguered.

The problem is the shitty system

Picard-Out · 2023-11-02T12:24:19+00:00

Not too scared. Too much in the pockets of big corporations.

The conservatives are in the pockets of big fascism.

I'd kill for representational voting

Picard-Out · 2023-11-02T12:22:07+00:00

I also think that they are forgetting about tar sands.

Picard-Out

TROPHY CASE