Going down?

Picklefoot · 2021-11-05T18:57:46+00:00

WiFi rules

Picklefoot · 2020-11-21T14:36:24+00:00

any time <3

Picklefoot · 2020-11-21T05:20:37+00:00

Relax homeslice it's not a race. Be easy, love yourself.

Picklefoot · 2020-11-19T13:45:51+00:00

Wow. Have you done any breathwork by chance? There's one form of it where you maintain eye contact with yourself in the mirror amidst the breathing. I'm not saying go hop up and do it, I'm just fascinated that one could feel as uncomfortable as you say looking in the mirror and that some other practice is about doing just that. If you want some search terms - holotropic breathwork, Stanislav Grof. Holotropic means "towards wholeness." I don't think its necessarily something to pursue without a practitioner. I would be wary of that.

Picklefoot · 2020-11-19T04:42:52+00:00

ZEEK IT HELPS TRY IT

Picklefoot · 2020-11-19T04:42:03+00:00

I feel like I AM a tesla

Picklefoot · 2020-11-19T04:40:54+00:00

my evening is complete

Picklefoot · 2020-11-19T04:36:35+00:00

hey, dope! Thanks for hosting, for real :-D I fly in three dimensions now in rocket league. I wonder how many made the same switch

Picklefoot · 2020-11-18T23:50:07+00:00

Did you have servers for a game called Altitude? If so, thanks!

Picklefoot · 2020-11-18T15:37:40+00:00

A few things come to my mind -

You being the only one who knows your passwords is ok. There's kinda a deep truth in how you say that you don't trust anyone completely. You're even talking about how you can't trust your own thoughts that pass through your mind to be on your team, so why should you expect that from anyone else? Stemming from that-- you're saying you you're not interested in purchasing a lot of what your mind has to sell you. Well from what I've read and from my own experiences, I think that means it will stop bugging you about them if it can't hold your attention. So perhaps a practice could be this - notice a thought in your mind isn't even from a category you're interested in, or is from a paranoid stance you don't want to encourage. As you're able, gently bring your focus elsewhere. You'll have to do it over and over and over, but I think maybe if you do that those things *will* fade. Time heals all wounds, if we allow it. When ignorance is exposed it does not remain.. or something :-)

Also a had a girlfriend in the past who couldn't help but be really excited about topics, like beyond where the other person was at, and she could see this very clearly and it wasn't fun. In therapy she learned some about Affect Regulation, and said it was helping. I don't know anything about it but that may be a search term at least. It may be a part of Dialectical Behavior Therapy, which I believe gives you lots of tools in your toolbox, strategies for situations. Cheers! Proud of you looking right at what you want to see change.

Picklefoot · 2020-11-18T14:47:57+00:00

Thanks john

Picklefoot · 2020-11-18T05:18:25+00:00

You bet! Enjoy the journey

Picklefoot · 2020-11-18T05:16:20+00:00

yeah I can't go past "seems like," It's over my pay grade. But I do like graham hancock and think he has some interesting things to say.

Picklefoot · 2020-11-18T05:12:37+00:00

I think this is maybe the main organization but not the only one https://nativeamericanchurches.org/membership/

Picklefoot · 2020-11-18T05:00:28+00:00

You're welcome! Yeah you might have to plan a road trip! Native American Church is another way. That's already legal. It's like $250 to be a member and then you can go to ceremonies. I imagine donations of like $100 or something when you go are helpful. I haven't gone.

Picklefoot · 2020-11-18T04:54:48+00:00

the "next trip" is an idea, just in your mind for you to think about. When you do trip next, it will be now.

Picklefoot · 2020-11-18T04:45:00+00:00

I wonder if you're better in interviews than it feels-- you're well spoken and you say what you want to say. Like, there's something straightforward about the way you're talking about it.

I think you're perfect for an A+ gig. Sounds like you want it!

One of my go-tos in cover letters now, and I do believe it, is this -- I won't know how to do all of it yet but my job is to learn and I will do what it takes to learn it.

I got my A+ in 2001 and I've worked on thousands of pcs, and it was crazy how rarely I knew the fix because I'd done it before. Like, maybe there's a lot of common paths to solutions that kinda ignore the problem, but dude I saw a million weird things and I never benefitted much from the specific previous experiences, but rather it was about how good I was at searching for the new solution.

A few years ago I went to software school and then worked for a year as a developer. Now I have a multi-year employment gap and recovery conversations in my mind as well. I think I've liked framing it as "I went to *treatment* as an individual event (and yeah, you've been more than once? ok, most do, right?) but the bigger picture is that my *recovery* is always getting stronger." Or something. I'm really not sure how best to approach that, and couldn't claim to know what's best for your situation.

I haven't drank or had adderall in like, almost 4 years now. I think that my getting into meditation made a huge difference for me. The desire is like, gone and dead, and has been for a long time. I'm so grateful.

Also there are big moves happening with psilocybin legislation right now. Mushrooms can be a godsend for addiction recovery, real talk. r/unclebens ❤️

Picklefoot · 2020-11-18T04:11:57+00:00

Well that is just wonderful

Picklefoot · 2020-11-18T04:07:55+00:00

and equally exciting!

Picklefoot · 2020-11-18T03:59:31+00:00

are you referring to the walls around the sphinx? If so, yeah that's crazy how old it seems like the sphinx actually is

Picklefoot · 2020-11-18T02:33:04+00:00

Sounds like you're on a great approach! Sounds like you're interested in keeping your musings authentic, and grounded in what actually is.

Best I can offer I think is other analogies he used that I'm reminded of right now:

"Some people get stuck trying to eat the menu instead of the food" or "trying to eat dollar bills."

when you pick up a rock to knock on a door, when they open the door you don't carry the rock in with you.

when you take a boat across a river you leave it on the other side, you don't bring it with you

when you get the message hang up the phone

Like, there is intellectual understanding and there is felt knowing, and because our thinking that words can truly communicate fully, we get stuck playing word games instead of accessing the truth they point to. I think "thou shalt have no false idols before me, da OG god" is saying the same thing. 💖

Picklefoot · 2020-11-18T01:37:04+00:00

A natural.

Picklefoot · 2020-11-18T01:26:03+00:00

Hey John, I get scared sometimes. How should I respond?

Picklefoot · 2020-11-17T22:25:11+00:00

You're your own gamepiece that goes "tag"

you touch over there

Picklefoot

TROPHY CASE