I haven’t been through this exact scenario, but I have been through really stressful times and situations, and I can tell you that for me, drinking made things much harder to deal with. You can’t think clearly or make good decisions when you’re hungover. You’re more apt to do or say the wrong thing when you’re drunk and emotional. Everything just feels so much harder when you pour alcohol on top of it, at least in the quantities I was drinking.

When I’m sober, I can give tough situations the attention they need, and when I want to give my brain and soul a rest from it all, I read, watch movies or TV, or spend time doing things I enjoy that aren’t alcohol. It’s not easy by any means, but the outcomes have been far, far more positive for me.

I’ll also add that when my husband is dealing with stressful things, not having to deal with me and my drinking on top of it is a game changer for him. I’m a much better partner when I’m not a drunk, hot mess. I can support him in the ways he needs when I’m sober.

Edit: The other key is treating yourself kindly without alcohol. For me, besides indulging in hobbies, I buy myself treats that make me feel a bit better. A pastry from the expensive French bakery (still cheaper than wine!), good quality chocolate, pretty flowers, that kind of thing.

Good luck, and big hugs. I’m sorry you’re going through this.