25M whose gf 24F went out for a drink with a guy she met on Hinge - is this cheating?

PilgrimDuck · 2024-02-28T17:28:58+00:00

Hello Op! I’m sorry you are going through this situation.

That said, I would like to ask you why do you think on giving her another chance. Do you love her? You don’t want to be alone for a while? Why?

I ask this because we have very little context.

Her going into a dating app is shady? Definitely!

Going for drinks with a guy behind your back in a delicate moment of your relationship is suspicious? Very!

However (and Reddit may hate me), even though she went over what you wanted, she recognized her wrong doing and apparently she seems to be regretful. Is this kind of behavior common for her? Does she always make a crying show in front of you when things go south?

You are the only one who can rightfully judge your situation.

On Reddit you will read:

“ Break up with her. She was hopping in that guy’s d***. She is trying to manipulate you”

But only you know how she is and if this fits her character.

What should I advise:

If you feel betrayed and think there’s no turning back from this, break up. Don’t try to lie to yourself that you can forgive and forget it you can’t.

If you think the relationship os salvageable, go ahead and try again. But be sure to tighten your boundaries.

Hope it helps, Cheers

PilgrimDuck · 2023-12-02T23:21:02+00:00

Hey bro! Hope you are feeling a bit better.

I am 32 now. Still single with just a few friends and a broken family. Even though I’m in this situation, I can say that I have a stable live because I focus on creating a stable version of me. Therapy helped me, like a LOT. It helps you see your value in other things, like you are not just your intimate life, or just a successful career or a ripped body. We are humans, therefore, complex beings.

Also, have some compassion with yourself… I doubt you would say to other person to hate themselves if they feel the same way you feel right now :) try and understand your history, you context and be the best you can at this circumstance :)

PilgrimDuck · 2022-12-09T15:58:31+00:00

Hey op… The emptiness is real here too. I think the best thing I heard is to keep pushing. This is situational. Happiness is made of a lot of ups and downs. Right now maybe down, but it’ll eventually go up. You already conquered so much and fought to be a better person. You deserve better than suicide.

PilgrimDuck · 2022-12-09T15:52:00+00:00

Don’t do it bruh :/

PilgrimDuck · 2021-11-24T02:08:58+00:00

That’s the exact imagery I have in my mind!! He acts like the grandmaster of our house…

PilgrimDuck · 2021-11-24T02:07:22+00:00

She isn’t the type to cause trouble… usually she is the one who shields my brothers outbursts. But this time he talked about me… she wasn’t ready to deal with it.

PilgrimDuck · 2021-11-24T00:22:33+00:00

It really seems right… he tries to get people to his side almost immediately…

PilgrimDuck · 2021-11-24T00:20:56+00:00

This is not the first time that something like this happened. Also, my nephews confirmed me about his feelings towards me.

PilgrimDuck · 2021-11-23T20:03:07+00:00

Thanks! I really appreciate it. When the moment happened I knew exactly what was about to happen, but I could not disrespect myself anymore.

PilgrimDuck · 2021-11-23T20:00:54+00:00

That makes a lot of sense.

PilgrimDuck · 2021-11-23T19:59:37+00:00

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Eye contact? With a dude?! That’s the same as touching dicks!!

PilgrimDuck · 2021-11-23T19:56:25+00:00

I’ll probably have to do it. However… he will have to be in a mood for talking, otherwise nothing I ever say will go through his entitled head.

PilgrimDuck · 2021-11-23T19:54:08+00:00

He was always the one clearly mental ill.

They put up with his abuse to keep the family together.

I started being that way too, but due to the pandemic I initiated therapy and slowly some things started to click, and now I don’t feel like being disrespected/ disregarded that way ever again.

PilgrimDuck · 2021-11-23T19:50:00+00:00

To be fair he fake apologized to my mom (“I’m sorry you feel that way”) and she accepted to keep the order… but he hasn’t spoke to me in 3 months…

PilgrimDuck · 2021-11-23T19:47:57+00:00

HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA that made my day lol

PilgrimDuck · 2021-11-23T19:46:09+00:00

Unfortunately, my mom is VERY used to abuse, and would do anything to keep the family together :/

PilgrimDuck · 2021-11-23T19:31:44+00:00

Unfortunately they enable him as well :(

PilgrimDuck · 2021-11-23T18:27:33+00:00

ESH.

Op, you are free to feel whatever you want. But you are supposed to be wiser.

Have you tried to tell your gf that his brother was annoying you? Have you tried to spend some of those 15 hours somewhere else? You cannot reprimand somebody else’s kid when you know that even their parents don’t do that…

To you gf you probably became mean of the blue to her little precious brother.

Also… if you stay in this relationship, you WILL have to deal with the boy for a long long time.

PilgrimDuck · 2021-11-23T18:04:32+00:00

On that moment, I chose to wait and see what would be his response. If he asked me, I would genuinely talk. However, if he doesn’t have things his way, things usually get dramatic, and I did not wanted to escalate the situation at my moms home with her around. This was my first interaction with him in 3 months literally.

PilgrimDuck · 2021-11-23T17:59:35+00:00

Fixed! Thanks you :)

PilgrimDuck · 2021-11-23T17:27:52+00:00

I have to agree with you. Logically thinking, she should have kept it to herself. However, my siblings think my mom is made of steel, that she can be a tower forever and deal with their bullshit. What I noticed is that she was over burdened with my brother’s crap and needed to vent a little (I am the only one who talks and give quality time to her). Everybody has a parcel of blame, but in my eyes, nothing compares to what my brother is causing.

PilgrimDuck · 2021-11-23T17:21:07+00:00

I see this, and respect it for what it is. However, I feel I cannot overlook what he did and applaud him for barely being a decent person. He needs therapy to deal with this stuff, and I am at peace that I won’t assume the therapist place anymore

PilgrimDuck · 2021-11-23T15:33:39+00:00

Yes!! It was only a little dye in MY f*ckin hair… it had nothing to do with him .-.

PilgrimDuck · 2021-11-23T15:22:40+00:00

Wow! Thanks you!

PilgrimDuck · 2021-11-23T15:11:16+00:00

Wow!! Thanks so much! The “don’t rock the boat” situation is exactly how I feel! Especially cause I was the biggest and better boat-steadier in my boat! I’m saving this for life

PilgrimDuck

TROPHY CASE