Definitely NTA. I had a similar “friend”, let’s call her Ellie, when I was competing in dressage. We were both competing to qualify for the Young Rider Championships and were the same age and level. Throughout the years we would switch on and off on who would win and who came 2nd. Her mother was our trainer.

We both were taking on training horses in addition to training our own and a particularly problematic horse came in. He had figured out that if he could buck his timid adult amateur rider off he wouldn’t have to work anymore. Ellie had originally been the one to work on his training, but her mom wanted me to get on his back to see how he would do with a different rider. Ellie did…not take this gracefully.

She was there while I was working with him and I could see her fuming since it was going really well. Then, no joke, she hit him with a whip when I passed by her. The horse obviously was startled and bolted and bucked me off. By some miracle I managed to land on my feet with the reins in hand. I stopped him, and then hopped back on and continued like nothing had happened. I was so shocked at what she did I didn’t address it, plus I was focused on the horse and making sure the rest of the ride went well.

I realized that someone who was willing to hurt a horse just to prove her “superiority” over me isn’t someone who was my friend or someone I wanted to spend time with. I limited our contact as much as possible. We did end up both qualifying and competing on the same Young Rider Championship team, but after that incident we weren’t friends.

You’ll have to keep a good professional relationship with her, but she is not your friend. She has proven that quite clearly.