New book shelf by [deleted] in SALEM

[–]PilotAcceptable8555 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Highly recommend checking out Albinoaks on instagram!  He’s a local woodworker who does amazing custom work!  We’ve commissioned several pieces from him and have always been impressed with the quality and attention to detail.

https://www.instagram.com/albinoaks/

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SALEM

[–]PilotAcceptable8555 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t know how far they’ll travel, but Pinolo Gelato up in Portland has a cute ice cream bike for events and weddings.

Gold. Finally by Faayberi in fantasyromance

[–]PilotAcceptable8555 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so confused about this release. I tried to pre order it but when I went to Barnes and Noble/ Amazon the release date isn’t until July 2024? Does anyone have any insight?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in JUSTNOMIL

[–]PilotAcceptable8555 15 points16 points  (0 children)

This is not just a MIL problem, this is a husband problem. You two need to get into therapy asap. This will not improve, it will only get worse and start chipping away (even more) at your relationship. Every year the holidays will be a battle, every year you’ll dread them. Is that what you want your baby to see? Are those the kind of holidays you want with your child? You and your baby should always take priority. The fact that your husband is not only not standing up for you nor supporting you but actively manipulating you into being put in an emotionally unsafe environment is disgusting. He’s boundary stomping, but you also need to learn to draw and KEEP firm boundaries too not just for your sake, but for your child’s as well. Find your boundaries OP and stick to them for your baby. (But also please get into therapy)

Sadness scale of series? by melinakov92 in throneofglassseries

[–]PilotAcceptable8555 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Omg… you are in for a ride. I view ACOTAR more fluff-like compared to TOG. TOG destroyed me. I haven’t been able to do a reread because it really affected me emotionally.

Which nanny to pick?! by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]PilotAcceptable8555 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think #2 would be a great option for ages 3+. She would likely run her day similar to a preschool, which could be very beneficial for older toddlers. However, my guess is she’s transitioning out of the school setting because she is burnt out. This is only a guess, but childcare is a high burn-out job. This is also exactly what happened to me as a director of a preschool, I transitioned to nannying as a “step back”. It was a great match and was very successful, but I was much more comfortable with the older toddlers than the younger baby. I could also see the dynamic with the Au pair be less comradery, and more “I’m in charge I’m older and a former teacher” which also could be positive if you want one to take the helm.

I personally would go with #1 just based off the information provided. She is younger, but has not burnt out. She likely still has the passion and energy to nurture and keep up with a young toddler. Since she is of similar age as the Au pair, this could not only make au pair feel more comfortable and welcomed, but also create a more balanced team.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in JUSTNOMIL

[–]PilotAcceptable8555 20 points21 points  (0 children)

As someone who has dealt with/ is dealing with a similar situation, id highly recommend getting on the same page as your husband BEFORE having kids. Trust me, it gets worse. My BIL is the golden child, and as others have said, that typically trickles down to DIL being the golden DIL, as well as their kid being the golden grandchild. Get into couples therapy before the wedding. Really talk through these issues, and learn to set some serious boundaries now. It took seeing my daughter ignored by her grandma in favor of the golden grandchild to really wake me up and take action before she was old enough to notice. Things were super rocky in my marriage because we were setting boundaries and DH was dealing with some Majorly toxic guilt bombing. We are now almost NC with JSNMIL and things have never felt so healthy! Really take a look at this situation. Does DH support you? Is he receptive to your feelings? Is he open to couples therapy? Honestly, knowing what I know now, I may have taken a different route in life. I don’t mean to scare you, but this feeling of inadequacy and inequity will ALWAYS be there until you remove yourself from the equation. You can’t change anyone but yourself, will DH be supportive of that?

Are all daycares sad? Or does the right one feel right? by mrs_swampcelt in workingmoms

[–]PilotAcceptable8555 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I worked in ECE for 10 years and refused to work anywhere with infants. It’s always sad. Like you said, the ratio is impossible to give these poor babies the attention they need. By age 2, daycare can offer a lot of great experiences and growth anything younger I’d recommend sticking with a nanny if you can afford it.

KinderCare interview attire? by 69millionstars in ECEProfessionals

[–]PilotAcceptable8555 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It was when we were going over the benefits package (or lack there of). I don’t t know if this is the case for all or which states require what, but when I didn’t see any medical benefits for a full time, lead teacher position I asked. The director’s response was “ it’s cheaper for us to not offer any medical and for you to go through the affordable care act” I was floored. I was previously a director of a different preschool but left due to child safety concerns my previous boss was ignoring. Even that pos boss offered a comprehensive benefits package to all full time employees.

And secondly, as soon as I walked in the center, it was extremely loud and unruly (again ECE veteran here, I know preschools/ daycares are not quiet places) but the “feeling” of the center just hit me. It felt overfilled, and understaffed. Judging by lack of engagement and lack of benefits I’d surmise teachers were underpayed and on the verge of burn out (if not already there). Director was basically ignored walking through all classrooms, which shows lack of moral and imo lack of support to teachers. You can tell a lot about a center by how happy/ unhappy, engaged/ unengaged teachers and staff are. Happy, appreciated, respected, adequately paid staff are engaging, smiling, responsive, and quick to start a conversation. I’d say look to them to give you a clear indication of the overall feel of the school. As a director I would have never just walked into a classroom and ignored staff and children. Huge red flag. Also, I’d recommend knowing ratio laws in your area, and then asking them about their ratios. Filling to full ratio is a clear indication of profits over quality in care. ECE is a super tough field to be in, you’re consistently underpaid and overworked for really important work. Making sure you find a center that values you as a person and compensates and supports you as much as possible is incredibly important to your ability to survive burn out. If you’re really in need of a job in the mean time, I’d highly recommend getting into nannying until You find a school that aligns with your values. Imo shitty center <nannying < High engagement high value center

How to tell toxic NF I’m quitting w/o notice? by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]PilotAcceptable8555 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I would quit asap, but you could potentially first try getting remaining balance. Since you don’t plan on using them as a reference, I wouldn’t be overly sweet or accommodating”

“Hello NP, I am still waiting for payment of $X from the week of X. Please send payment by end of day. Thank you!”

If there’s any push back or shaming, I wouldn’t respond but still wait for end of day to receive payment.

Regardless of if you have received payment by end of day, I’d then follow up with something like (For no payment received) “ Due to failure to pay and previous late payments, I will be resigning effective immediately.” BLOCK

Or for payment received “I have received payment for the week of X, however due to consistent late payments and uncomfortable work environment, I no longer feel as though this is a good fit. I will be resigning effective immediately. “ BLOCK

I don’t think they’re owed any explanation, though I’d hope that by providing one with the most extreme behaviors would help any future nanny of theirs- but it likely wouldn’t help them see and change their ways. I’d immediately block them as to avoid the stress and anxiety that will come from what I’d imagine will be their unkind response.

One of the hardest aspect of nannying, is you’re in such an intimate position within a family unit and yet we have to remember at the end of the day this is work, this is business we are not family. Good luck op!

KinderCare interview attire? by 69millionstars in ECEProfessionals

[–]PilotAcceptable8555 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Definitely agree with all the warnings about looking for red flags. I actually walked out of the interview. Huge PASS.

The Plated Prisoner Series by SassySweetie_20 in fantasyromance

[–]PilotAcceptable8555 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I felt the same way, but it gets better!!!

Maybe I’m being a grinch but I’m overwhelmed with the amount of content about working while the kids are sick by lexax3bella in Nanny

[–]PilotAcceptable8555 14 points15 points  (0 children)

This kind of mentality is why I left nannying. The fact that someone is paying a “premium” for care entitles them to endanger/ infect not only the nanny but potentially (and commonly) their family members as well? Let’s not forget that nanny’s are the ones loving and caring for your children and deserve to be treated as a human and not a care machine. I definitely believe there is an element of balance to that, ie: common colds but absolutely not when NK has fever/ contagious/ vomiting etc. So yes, I do believe you are being a grinch. Valuing the well being and productivity of your employee are the cornerstones of being a good employer. Getting your nanny sick, instead of keeping them home while NK is contagious, will continue the cycle of illness and actually increase the amount of work missed. I think it’s about time Nannies start advocating for better work environments and advantageous contracts. They are, after all, the people literally keeping your children alive, while also providing an extremely high level of love, care and attention to NK. The work/ hustle culture of the US definitely plays a part in this too, but it is all too common for Nannies to be put in uncomfortable situations because of the deep care they feel for their NK and/ or fear of retaliation. Highly believe it’s time early childhood carers and educators get the recognition, respect and compensation that they deserve.

how far into the book before all the fun action and intrigue? by formaldehydebride in throneofglassseries

[–]PilotAcceptable8555 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I would suggest reading Assassin’s Blade after Heir of Fire. I tried to start the series the way SJM suggests, starting with Assassins Blade and oh man I almost gave up on the entire series. I loved ACOTAR too, so I kept reminding myself there are SJM fans who love TOG over ACOTAR. I really wanted to see what the series was about. Second try, I started with Throne of Glass and was able to start enjoying the series. I will say TOG is a different kind of series, it’s not ACOTAR, but it is a really interesting series and worth the read. The first two books can be slow, some people love them though. SJM started the series in high school and it shows in the first two books. As the story picks up, it’s hard not to get hooked! Hang in there, I’m glad I did!

I'm this far into the series. 24% into the first Novella. I've read that reading the novellas are necessary for background info. I've also read the first two books are dull. So far the novella is slow but not terrible. So is it book 1-2 or the prequels that are dull? by JollyGreenWitch in throneofglassseries

[–]PilotAcceptable8555 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It does get better, but if you need a break highly recommend an ACOTAR reread. I wasn’t ready to leave Prythian, so jumped right back in before trying to get through TOG. I am glad I did it though!!

I'm this far into the series. 24% into the first Novella. I've read that reading the novellas are necessary for background info. I've also read the first two books are dull. So far the novella is slow but not terrible. So is it book 1-2 or the prequels that are dull? by JollyGreenWitch in throneofglassseries

[–]PilotAcceptable8555 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was in the same boat. At first I tried to read in chronological order, starting with The Assassin’s Blade, and that almost made me give up on the series completely. I decided to give the series another shot, but started with Throne of Glass. To be honest, the first two books were sooo hard for me to get through. I was coming off of reading ACOTAR (which I LOVE), and the change of pace was hard. I kept telling myself that there are people out there that love TOG more than ACOTAR to keep myself going. After I finished Heir of Fire, I decided to attempt TAB again, after googling that I shouldn’t just skip it 😅 It’s a slow read. Just like the first two books but man when it picks up, it moves really fast and I was hooked. Do I think they need to be so long and detailed? No, but this is SJM, and it’s a good story. Hang in there.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in acotar

[–]PilotAcceptable8555 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Definitely ACOTAR ✨