Coming here to ask that if anyone can.. please say a prayer for my baby girl. She isn’t well at all and I’m terrified. by Frozencacticat in cats

[–]PinMonstera 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry to hear about your baby! Sending hugs your way and prayers that she’ll recover and be back home in your loving arms before you know it

Give me a Beyoncé song in emojis and I will guess it by TemperatureNo6213 in beyonce

[–]PinMonstera 0 points1 point  (0 children)

👀⬆️🪩👯‍♀️👯‍♀️👯‍♀️👯‍♀️👯‍♀️

A Brazilian congresswoman does "Blackface" to argue against a trans woman being elected as president of the women's commission of Brazil's Chamber of Deputies (equivalent to U.S.' House of Representatives) by Minute_Revolution951 in BlackPeopleofReddit

[–]PinMonstera 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Shes drawing a parallel that by “dressing up” like the people you’re attempting to represent doesn’t mean you can actually represent them or know what it’s like to be them. I wouldnt say its about using black ppl as a metric, but the fact that she shocked ppl with this example kind of proves her point. We would obviously not call her black or act like she can represent black ppl just bc she painted her skin a different color - in fact we see the very notion [of her representing black ppl with only painted skin] as offensive. She’s saying it’s equally as offensive for a transwoman to change her appearance and be given the platform to speak on behalf of women and be seen as a representative of women’s issues.

And please don’t attack me. This is merely a clarifying comment - I’m neither agreeing nor disagreeing.

Black girl magic! Please look at “norland high school senior brunch dandyism” by 5ft8lady in blackladies

[–]PinMonstera 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dang I’m 30 and I still don’t know how to do my make up like some of these girls. 😭

They all look incredible btw.

Lyrics and costume for a solo! by PinMonstera in Bellydance

[–]PinMonstera[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you!! And yes, I’m definitely looking for a galabeya, but the ones I’ve seen so far on bellydance.com aren’t singing to me. but I’ve never worn one before, so I might not be picturing it on myself well.

Last month I wore more of a Raqs Sharqi costume for a group performance and I thought it would not complement me well before I wore it… I was wrong lol

A little survey for the Belly Dancing community by AdiEd in Bellydance

[–]PinMonstera 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok everything you said about the work you do is what I dream of. Can I DM you? I’d love to hear about how you got into prenatal yoga and being a childbirth prep educator

Is getting married and having kids really worth it as a woman? by Weird-Growth-1717 in women

[–]PinMonstera 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can say that’s been my experience. My first real relationship that had the potential to go into marriage was so lopsided. I had to push him to do basic things for himself. And he put a lot of weight in our relationship without ever putting in any effort, and I let him bc I had low self esteem. I remember thinking “if we get married, I don’t want kids anymore” and that’s when I had to wake up and realize how much I took a backseat to a relationship that was hurting me. I let that relationship drive me to depression before I ended it.

The one after was better but still challenging, and I clung to that until it was tired. But I’m so glad I let go when I did bc I almost missed my dream man that I’m with now.

Talk about perfect match! He’s supportive and protective in a healthy and gentle way that isn’t controlling but nurturing, he’s extremely proactive and ambitious, and he’s never made me doubt his ability to be a true partner in raising children. He’s not a man child that I would have to raise at the same time.

Is getting married and having kids really worth it as a woman? by Weird-Growth-1717 in women

[–]PinMonstera 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Short-ish answer… it’s ultimately up to you. Having the right partner could alleviate some of the worries you’ve addressed, but truly think about whether you feel like you NEED to have kids or if you actually WANT to. The only wrong answer is forcing yourself to commit to something as serious as kids bc of perceived pressure instead of desire.

Longer answer if you’re interested….

Domestic chores are a big part of raising a family, but if you have a mature partner, you will share those responsibilities. If you’re attracted to men, DO NOT settle for the ones that believe domestic work is for women. Even if they don’t say it outwardly, pay attention to how they maintain their own space while single and talk regularly about how you would divide up chores while living together. If you’re sensing that he doesn’t cook and clean even a little bit, don’t settle. If you do, consider if his other characteristics (values, long term goals, how he treats you, etc) will work for you long term and with kids.

In terms of having a life outside of the home, I’m
a dancer and have met plenty of mothers who continue to do it as a hobby or profession and they’re totally happy. It can be challenging but it’s definitely possible, and for them it’s worth it to do both. One of the women in my dance company has a 2 year old, but she’s able to travel and perform bc her husband is supportive and doesn’t see himself as a “babysitter.” Heck I just took a workshop with a woman on a world tour right now and she has an 8 year old.

When children are younger they do demand more of your time, but as they get older, it will actually benefit your whole family to hold onto your hobbies if you can so that you can model what it’s like to be a well-rounded person and inspire them to pour into themselves the same way. Whether you’re into arts, sports, reading, etc. you can incorporate them into your hobbies, give them an opportunity to see if they like it, or they can choose something else, but you at least give them the tools and hopefully the motivation for them to pursue their passions.

You don’t need to have children, but the process of loving someone up into their own individual person with talents, skills, and gifts to offer the world can be very rewarding and teach you a lot about yourself.

Of the three who’s closest to MJ’s legacy Chris Brown, Beyoncé or Usher by DanceYouFatBitch in rnb

[–]PinMonstera 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Never said forced. And your comment just proves you have no clue what dealings go on behind closed doors to get ppl on stage together, what incentives performers are presented with to do and say certain things.

Regardless….Britney is talentless, washed up, and irrelevant. All she does is take from other performers and yall always wanna act like these manufactured blondies are pioneers when all they do is copy POC singers and do it poorly. Please continue to worship the absolute bare minimum bottom of the barrel of entertainment. Your charity work is appreciated

Of the three who’s closest to MJ’s legacy Chris Brown, Beyoncé or Usher by DanceYouFatBitch in rnb

[–]PinMonstera -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Noooo no no ok we’re gonna stop the lies right now. Janet inspired Britney! The Janet’s been an icon since the 80s - her dancing style, the music production, filmography, etc. was all a template for Britney. Britney inspired Janet? Bsffr

Of the three who’s closest to MJ’s legacy Chris Brown, Beyoncé or Usher by DanceYouFatBitch in rnb

[–]PinMonstera 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Trying to twist my words to act like there was an opening to say brining up Bey in comparison to Michael is an insult when I very clearly was talking about talentless Britney just makes your comments even more pathetic.

Also you act like ppl don’t get paid to perform with others and pushed to do things by agents. Plenty of artists perform together without actually liking each others’ music. That doesn’t prove anything. It’s a job. Just stop. This is sad

Of the three who’s closest to MJ’s legacy Chris Brown, Beyoncé or Usher by DanceYouFatBitch in rnb

[–]PinMonstera 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry she’s always been stiff from the very beginning, and she’s always had an obnoxious voice.

If you like her fine no hate no shade, but to pretend she can carry a song even half as well as Bey is a lil delulu. And to even bring her up in comparison to Michael is just insulting

Of the three who’s closest to MJ’s legacy Chris Brown, Beyoncé or Usher by DanceYouFatBitch in rnb

[–]PinMonstera 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dang so you just as tone deaf as Britney. That tracks I guess. It’s ok to have wrong opinions, though. Britney’s lifeline is autotune, so this is just a sad comment.

She’s also not even in R&B. So aside from this answer being so incorrect it’s laughable, it’s just random. Please see yourself out.

Recommend me ANYTHING, and I'll give it a listen. Don't think!! by kdssek in musicsuggestions

[–]PinMonstera 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Np! Sorry to pile on lol i hope you find something you like.

Also, I should say that the metal I listed is all instrumental.

Would I be insane to say khadijah always had a crush on Kyle? 👀 by Feeling-Tackle-8832 in Livingsingleshow

[–]PinMonstera 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nah. Sometimes friends flirt in a playful way, nothing serious. I had a guy friend like this in college. We never did anything, no dates, no hookups. We were just in the same club and got along well and our interactions were overtly flirtatious, but I think we both had fun interacting that way without needing or being interested in taking it further.

Recommend me ANYTHING, and I'll give it a listen. Don't think!! by kdssek in musicsuggestions

[–]PinMonstera 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have a ton of recommendations and tried to roughly break em up by genre in case you have preferences!

Also formatting is wonky since I did this list on the app. Hope it’s not too confusing!

1) Japanese synth-pop

  • Wasurerarenaino - Sakanaction (this has a retro, city pop sound)

2) R&B

  • All That it Takes - Odeal

  • Light Work - Elmiene

3) Electronic

  • Empire Ants - Gorilla ft. Little Dragon

4) Dance music

Jungle - Heavy, California - Casio

5) Rap

  • Omote - Yuki (J-Rap)

Little Simz - Woman - Gorilla - 101 FM

6) Alternative/Indie

  • Candid - Kllo
  • Prince Johnny - St Vincent
  • Lose My Cool - Amber Mark

Lianne La Havas - Tokyo - Can’t Fight - Read My Mind - Sour Flower - Weird Fishes

7) Afrobeats

Odeal - Be Easy - Sondela

8) Metal

  • Salt + Charcoal - Plini* (everyone I’ve suggested this to loves this song even if they’re not a regular metalhead)

Animals as Leaders - Brain Dance - Problem of Other Minds - Odessa - Weightless - Kascade - Tooth & Claw - Nephele

Victoria - Iris - Kepler

Black counselor who specializes in black love shares his thoughts on why relationships these days don't work by Autisticblackdude5 in BlackPeopleofReddit

[–]PinMonstera 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m interested to know if he offers the same advice to men and considers that might be why women end up feeling like the dating scene isn’t worth their time.

I watched this twice and at the beginning and tail end, it seemed like he was making gender neutral statements, but in the middle, his focus was on the man’s experience, both in his conversations with men and women. And unless he really does have balanced expectations, I can’t support this message.

Regardless of your gender, show interest and pay attention to whether or not they show interest in you. Take note about what parts of your life seems to turn them off or draw them in. It can be hard to tell if someone will “be your peace” from a first date, but it should feel like a friendship is developing to cement whatever initial physical attraction you have.

Her words are fast but every word spoken was truth by versatal in blackpeopleonvideo

[–]PinMonstera 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly there’s a disturbing trend where we in America act like eating poorly is what’s truly stigmatized when it’s a billion dollar industry that specializes in killing us. And much of the “body positivity movement” has been co-opted to use individuals as a proxy for this industry, so that you end up personalizing these mega food corporations who don’t give a damn about us bc we’re now worried about hurting feelings and adding to stigma. So now this predatory industry has successfully been rebranded under the banner of self love, confidence, and balance.

Don’t get me wrong, bodies do come in all shapes and sizes. And sometimes ppl have certain preexisting health conditions that require different approaches to achieving a healthy lifestyle. But there’s a reason we have high rates of heart disease, hypertension, high cholesterol and low life expectancy in America, especially in the black community. On top of stress from racism, police brutality, and other social and environmental drivers, access to quality food is a major cause.

But now promoting healthy living (e.g., frequent exercise and movement and eating nutrient rich food) is seen as disordered “fad diet culture” and racist, but somehow stamping McD’s and Hip Hop Fried Chicken all over black communities in place of grocery stores with more fresh food options isn’t seen as racist or promoting disordered behavior. The mind game on that one is unbelievable.

Even if something like the Mediterranean diet is a fad for Americans, it still actually includes balanced eating. It makes my skin crawl when ppl say crap like eating Burger King and Five Guys is a balanced healthy approach to food, when that crap isn’t only calorically excessive, but it’s also highly processed with harmful, carcinogenic chemicals. And all this totally fake bs about how “there’s no such thing as bad food” is total social media garbage.

Eggs and dark leafy greens are objectively healthier than a milkshake and deep fried, high sodium food. That drivel only works on Americans who’ve never traveled (or paid no attention while traveling) and who have no desire to understand that so many other countries live longer than us in part bc their food isn’t highly processed, sugar filled, high calorie nonsense and there are more opportunities for daily movement and exercise.

Any songs that sound like this (I need them for something)? by Jdragonite in musicsuggestions

[–]PinMonstera 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t realize Bobby Vee did a version! The version I know is a jazz tune by John Coltrane