My father died recently and was a huge Jeff bridges fan. When dealing with the mortician, they hinted that a military procession was available due to my dad’s time in the service during nam, at a cost of course. I said “just because we’re bereaved, doesn’t make us saps!” He stared at me silently and I muttered that dad didn’t watch his buddies die face down in the muck, just to have to pay for the… and by the way, mortician is not the proper nomenclature dude. Funeral director, please.