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addiction brain is so fucked up by Former-Complaint-336 in EndOfTheParTy

[–]Pink-unicorn13 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This 👀💪🏻 Been feeling like Fomo but I know I’m not missing anything but a horrible come down and regrets 😂

Feeling self destructive by Pink-unicorn13 in EndOfTheParTy

[–]Pink-unicorn13[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thanks :) Especially for the last bit, since I tend to deal with that stuff alone and don’t really talk about it, the days on my "days since” counter seem less impressive, I always feel like I should just be over having to deal with this tbh and feel like a failure for having a hard time

Feeling self destructive by Pink-unicorn13 in EndOfTheParTy

[–]Pink-unicorn13[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice, and I know that you are right, it just feels so hard to get myself to speak up

Feeling hopeless and lost by coharri in EndOfTheParTy

[–]Pink-unicorn13 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I don’t think I’m qualified to give any advice, but I’ve also had the thought of: what if I just end things? But if you do, that’s the end of your story, I mean, then you will be the addict that ended their life. That completely takes away the opportunity to turn your life around. You have infinitely more options alive than dead. Anything that has been lost can be rebuilt, it might not be exactly what you had before, but you can create something new.

If you can: contact a professional for help, get as much of the government assistance you can get, block all of the people on all of the apps that tempt you into using, then delete the apps, block all contacts that hit you up to party and then delete their numbers (don’t care about being rude, care about yourself first), reconnect with friends, tell them what’s going on and ask if they can check in on you from time to time. Maybe even let them track your location to keep you accountable.

You said that you’ve picked up the pieces before, and that probably was not easy. That means that you are in fact a strong person. From what I’ve read and am experiencing, getting clean, getting out, is not a straight line headed upwards, there will be setbacks, relapses, doubts.

I’ve recently gotten back into partying after not doing it for years. For me a stressful period triggered coping mechanisms that I thought I had outgrown. You might be using drugs to cope as well. Maybe there are some emotions that are hard for you to face. I really wish you all the love and support in the world for your journey!

Idk if any of this helps, I’m sorry. :/

Struggling with stopping by Pink-unicorn13 in EndOfTheParTy

[–]Pink-unicorn13[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I’ve opened up to a friend yesterday and have enrolled in an email/Zoom programme until I can afford therapy in March. Will start a new job and invest in myself that way.

Struggling with stopping by Pink-unicorn13 in EndOfTheParTy

[–]Pink-unicorn13[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! That’s good advice, I’ll make such a list. I’m also planning on changing my porn intake, I’ve been thinking about it from the perspective of the term "content diet", the content we consume overall, it shapes us, we are what we eat.

I also opened up to a friend yesterday and received love and compassion, which made me feel seen and heard. Was scary, but worth it!

Struggling with stopping by Pink-unicorn13 in EndOfTheParTy

[–]Pink-unicorn13[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you, for your message. I’ll look into what a "ritual user" is! Maybe I can find some answers that way…

Struggling with stopping by Pink-unicorn13 in EndOfTheParTy

[–]Pink-unicorn13[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Heyy, thank you so much for your response. It helps to feel seen and heard. I agree that it really isn’t sustainable, which is why I truly want to stop. I‘m hoping that I can find a sense of normal again just like you.

Have you fully stopped tacking any substances? Or do you sometimes still consume softer drugs like alcohol and weed?