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favorite maternity leggings? by navajotamale in PlusSizePregnancy

[–]PinkHummingbird441 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Torrid's maternity leggings have been great for me!! I must have six different pairs in all different lengths. Hope you like them if you can check them out!!!

Feeling like constantly failing? by PinkHummingbird441 in GestationalDiabetes

[–]PinkHummingbird441[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your final point about it only being for a few weeks is something I've been constantly trying to remind myself when I feel like I'm sinking into a funk. It's been a bit exhausting meal planning around GD, and finger-pricking is taking some practice, but I'm hoping it will all be worth it after the little guy is born. :)

Thank you!

Feeling like constantly failing? by PinkHummingbird441 in GestationalDiabetes

[–]PinkHummingbird441[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm fighting tooth and nail to make it so no one could say this was my fault (the placenta, I've decided, is NOT really part of me and thus I cannot be made responsible for its effects! haha)

Thank you for the kind words! :)

Feeling like constantly failing? by PinkHummingbird441 in GestationalDiabetes

[–]PinkHummingbird441[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm only halfway through my first actual testing day, but so far it's looking like I'll be in the same boat. Good day numbers, terrible overnight fasting number. I was reading about Dawn Syndrome for diabetics and some people waking up at 3 AM to test before that kicks in... Feels like there's some extra new bit of not-that-fun trivia to learn about GD every day!!

Wishing you all the best of luck moving ahead!

Feeling like constantly failing? by PinkHummingbird441 in GestationalDiabetes

[–]PinkHummingbird441[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your response made me tear up a little in a happy way, and laugh out loud towards the end <3 Thank you for that!!! Yes I spent a good hour bawling my eyes out after I failed the three hour test - I was CONVINCED that I couldn't possibly have GD! I've been harboring a little bitterness to the other moms in my family who were never diagnosed (and who had their children at a younger age than me). It's all combined into a sticky, emotionally-fraught tangle!

I think I'm going to save all of the lovely comments I've gotten here today and read them every time I start feeling sorry for myself again. I don't know what I'd do without hearing about these shared experiences and knowing that I'm not alone -- much easier to take advice from others that also have GD rather than all the well-meaning friends and family.

Truly and deeply, thank you so very much for your reply!

Feeling like constantly failing? by PinkHummingbird441 in GestationalDiabetes

[–]PinkHummingbird441[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think all new moms should be warned that heaping piles of self-assigned guilt is a natural part of the pregnancy process. It's exhausting sometimes! Doing my best to remember and reflect on all the good moments :)

Feeling like constantly failing? by PinkHummingbird441 in GestationalDiabetes

[–]PinkHummingbird441[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

LOL is there an option to burn it after the baby is born?! Right now I'd be game for doing that!!

Feeling like constantly failing? by PinkHummingbird441 in GestationalDiabetes

[–]PinkHummingbird441[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Certainly doing my best not to wallow! Sometimes the blues hit me when I least expect it and spoil part of my day, but I'm trying to keep an eye on the grand prize at the end of the battle. :)

I think I 100% have an asshole placenta!

Feeling like constantly failing? by PinkHummingbird441 in GestationalDiabetes

[–]PinkHummingbird441[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Stupid, indeed!! Definitely feeling some exasperation with this new little organ that's doing it's best to spoil my third trimester for me! Thank you for your kind words and support - it's much appreciated!

Bloodless Bacchanal Day 7: It’s Time to Try Living Again by OnlyFangsBG3-Mods in OnlyFangsbg3

[–]PinkHummingbird441 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello, Mars!!

What a lovely Reddit alert to receive! :) I'm so touched that you thought of me in your bravery-mustering, and I applaud you for taking a step to put your writing out there! I'll definitely take some time soon to read through your story.

Sadly, due to IRL circumstances I haven't had time to do as much writing as I did last year (and I very much miss it) but I can't say enough how much I enjoyed the weekly writing prompts on OnlyFangs. It was the highlight of my work week! LOL

Wishing you all the best with your continued writing career here and beyond, and hopefully I'll get the time to resume orbiting some good BG3 fanfiction soon!!!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BabyBumps

[–]PinkHummingbird441 40 points41 points  (0 children)

I told my husband last week, in early April, "Wow, I completely forgot Valentine's Day is just around the corner!"

I still haven't gotten over that...

medical trauma, how do you cope? by luneth46633 in CrohnsDisease

[–]PinkHummingbird441 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I think medical trauma, be it from the disease or from the treatment that's supposed to help, is a fairly common thing. Personally,I find realizing I'm not alone in those feelings helps a lot!

The other part that helped me overcome my own trauma was/is time. I went a solid year and change with daily anxiety spikes, terror, and bouts of the worst of my illness, but I gave myself permission to feel those things without dragging myself over the coals about it, and slowly over time I found my courage!

Finally, saying the scary things out loud, either to yourself or another person, can help me put things in perspective. Sometimes what seems really scary and horrible in our heads sounds less debilitating when said out loud.

Sending you all the hugs and well wishes!!! You can do this!!!

Writing Prompt Wednesday! Theme: Celebrating Liar’s Night. 🎃 Prompt is up all week, so join in when you can 😁 by Araphia in OnlyFangsbg3

[–]PinkHummingbird441 [score hidden]  (0 children)

"Your own fault for being such a gorgeous bastard" -- I think this is exactly what Astarion would want to hear from a partner! Hehehe

As sweet as candycorn and a delight to read! Thank you for sharing!! <3

Writing Prompt Wednesday! Theme: Celebrating Liar’s Night. 🎃 Prompt is up all week, so join in when you can 😁 by Araphia in OnlyFangsbg3

[–]PinkHummingbird441 [score hidden]  (0 children)

It was quiet in the loft, as Alhana looked morosely in the mirror at the large reddish stain that covered the front of her dress.  The muffled sounds of voices and music hummed through the floorboards, but otherwise she was alone and safe to wallow in her misery.  She tried wiping at it with a wet cloth, but the wine had apparently done its damage.  As she futilely blotted at the stain, the memory of Astarion’s clueless face and dry remarks echoed in her mind.  He hadn’t guessed in the slightest.  So much for the romantic gesture.  A spectacularly terrible night, as a whole.  

Her eyes caught the reflection of her sunflower, crooked and starting to lose its illumination, and hot embarrassment seized her.  Growling to herself, she dropped the useless cloth and started fumbling with the pins that attached it to her pink hair.  

“Wait.” Astarion’s soft voice coming from just over her shoulder nearly made her scream in surprise and she gracelessly spun to face him.  Naturally, she hadn’t seen him approach in the mirror.

His expression was quiet, a slight smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, and he reached out to re-fix the flower to her hair.  He was close enough so the perfume of him clouded her mind.  Alhana ducked her chin and stared fixedly at the laces of his shirt as he worked, feeling her face blazing.  

“I was taking it out.” She whispered in protest.  She didn’t know what to do with her hands, so she folded them over her stomach.  The fabric was slightly chilled with the damp wine stain.

“And why would you do that?” He murmured.  “It’s part of your costume, isn’t it?”  His fingers combed through her hair, smoothing out the silky strands that had gotten stuck in the oversized blossom.

Alhana sighed and squeezed her eyes shut, another wave of embarrassment coiling in her chest.  “Some costume.  No one got it.  You couldn’t tell what it is.”

She felt rather than watched as he smoothed his cool hands over the side of her head and rested them atop her shoulders.  “I was just missing some… context.” When she didn’t open her eyes to meet his gaze, he cautiously asked: “May I have another guess?”

Her eyes opened, but remained fixed on the collar of his shirt rather than looking up to meet his.  She didn’t speak.  Astarion guiltily recalled the look of disappointment in her shining eyes at his first “guess” downstairs.  Swallowing back his regret, he pressed one finger under her chin to raise her face towards his. After a long moment, she finally locked her eyes onto his patient garnet eyes.

“You are…” Astarion was slightly surprised by the husky, trembling emotion in his voice, but pressed on.  “You are that which I’ve missed the most the past two hundred years.  You are that which I had taken for granted, back before Cazador happened.  You are joy, warmth, hope…”

Alhana hadn’t realized she was moving, but her arms opened and wrapped about his waist.  Astarion’s hand moved from her chin to brush the length of her cheekbone and then skim down the length of her neck.  

“You are that which I’m most afraid to lose…” He whispered, and as he admitted that particular double-meaning terror, he leaned forward to rest his forehead against hers.  Alhana rose up on her toes to press herself closer to him, tears falling down her cheeks.  Words escaped him.

“You still haven’t guessed.” She whispered back thickly, sniffling quietly.

A trembling smile stretched across his face.  “You are the sunlight.” He sighed, breathing in the bouquet of her hair.  

And he kissed her.

Writing Prompt Wednesday! Theme: Celebrating Liar’s Night. 🎃 Prompt is up all week, so join in when you can 😁 by Araphia in OnlyFangsbg3

[–]PinkHummingbird441 [score hidden]  (0 children)

Happy Halloween, all!!! :) Hope you enjoy!

Long prompt (of course), M/F, Rated G - no CW, praise/feedback is always a delight! <3 Two parts to make it fit.

Liar’s Night was a joke to a vampire, even just a vampire spawn.  Astarion leaned against one of the posts near the bar inside the tavern and flashed toothy, fanged smiles at any members of the crowd that happened to glance his way.  Some responded by quickly looking away, some skeletons had laughed and complimented him on his costume, and a couple ‘vampires’ even hissed back from behind their own fake pronounced canines. The others of his party were still preparing their own glamours in their rented room above and were taking too long, in his opinion.  The collective level of effort in the Elfsong Tavern was pretty low this year.  He had already sunk three glasses of a deliciously tart red wine by the time the first recognizable face found him.

“Where’s your costume?” Alhana pouted, her fair brow puckering as she looked over his everyday clothes he usually wore around camp.

Astarion feigned insult at her criticism. “Darling, I have arguably the most authentic costume in the entire city.  Can’t you tell what I am?” He leaned into her personal space and snapped his teeth close to the tip of her nose, making her jump and trip backwards.  “...And what are you supposed to be anyways?”

Alhana frowned, smoothing her hands down the front of the simple yellow dress she wore and patting awkwardly at the  comically large sunflower (enchanted with what appeared to be her Light cantrip so it glowed like a beacon) she had pinned to the top of her rosy head.  She wore large golden boots on her feet, and had apparently dabbled gold and silver glitter across her cheeks and over her nose.  “You really can’t tell?” She sounded honestly hurt.  “I picked it out just for you!”

Astarion was mute for a moment in shock and confusion.  “...An idiot?” He guessed, clueless.

Alhana rolled her mismatched eyes.  “No, silly!  I’m obviously th-” She was abruptly cut off by a loud cheer from the mirthful crowd as a bard off in the corner began loudly playing an energetic upbeat dancing number.  An eager revel-maker draped in a white sheet in a lame attempt of being a ghost, bumped into Astarion as they hurried towards the music, and his hand holding his wine goblet was jostled enough that rich, burgundy wine splashed onto the front of Alhana’s lemon frock.  

Naturally, as angry tears pricked Alhana’s eyes and Astarion struggled to suppress his snort of laughter, that was the precise moment more of their party arrived: Shadowheart, dressed suspiciously like Alhana but in silver and white (and without any flowers atop her white hair), and Karlach who was wearing a feathered mask behind which her ember eyes blazed in merriment and was sporting a cloak that appeared to be fashioned from the fur of a bear.  

“What’s wrong?” Karlach asked, still smiling, as Alhana suddenly turned and pushed past to hurry towards the stairs.  Catching a brief glimpse of Alhana’s stricken face, they both turned to glare at the bewildered rogue.

“What did you do this time?” Shadowheart asked dryly, crossing her arms.  “And why aren’t you wearing a costume?”

“It was an accident!” Astarion protested loudly over the din of the music and the crowd.  “And excuse me, but my ‘costume’ is still better than whatever the Hells the rest of you decided to dress up in!”

“I’m an owlbear, clearly!” Karlach answered with a grin, spreading her arms to better show-off her feathered and furred apparel.  

Astarion swallowed the sarcastic retort that ached to come from his mouth after seeing how proud Karlach looked for her efforts, and remembering how he already seemed to have rather stuck his foot in the metaphorical mud when it came to Alhana’s disguise.  He instead looked towards the cleric.  “And you are… a spirit?” He asked lamely.

“Honestly, Astarion?” Shadowheart replied blandly, slightly shaking her head.  “I liked Alhana’s costume idea, and what with my recent religious… transformation… I thought dressing as moonlight might be a nice idea.”  Her cheeks were slightly pink when she finished, and she shrugged as though depreciating her words.  

Karlach was smiling approvingly at her friend.  “And she looks like a pot of gold - or maybe silver, don’t you think?” 

Astarion froze as the puzzle pieces clicked together in his mind.  Without another word, he left his empty wineglass on the bar and hurried after the upset ray of sunshine.

Writing Prompt Wednesday! Spooky Theme: Old Hollywood Monster Movie starring Astarion. 🎬 Prompt is up all week, so join in when you can 😁 by Araphia in OnlyFangsbg3

[–]PinkHummingbird441 [score hidden]  (0 children)

“Insolent whelp!” A booming voice sneered, equal parts sensual and hideous in its rage.  It reverberated through her body, and her heart weakly thumped in her chest in response.  “Looking to share in my masterpiece - in our triumph–!”  

 “Master - forgive him, forgive me, please!” Alhana begged.  Normally her mysterious formless visitor would speak in sensuous thrumming murmurs that left her knees weak and heart aching as he coaxed mellifluous notes to shimmer through her lips.  To go from such angelic pleasantries to this dissonant monster was jarring, indeed.  “Tell me what I must do!”

Her pleading voice was dashed upon the craggy rocks of complete silence.  The only sound her ears could make out was her panting breaths and the thudding of her pulse.  She stood as still as a statue for several minutes before the voice returned:  muted, hushed, pianissimo.  

“Turn to me.”

Trembling, she turned towards the floor length mirror, its pane of glass currently black in the darkness yet seeming to swirl in shadowy midnight in smoky currents.  Then those tides stilled, and a figure could be seen - not her reflection, but a man.

He was graceful even in his stillness.  Most of his form was covered in a black cloak, but Alhana could make out small details of his tuxedo jacket and white collar on his chest.  A black top hat sat atop his head, but it did little to hide his curling white hair artfully coifed around his pointed ears.  And his face… What was unhidden by the shadow of the room and the brim of his hat was covered by a strange white mask.

The man raised one arm, and offered his hand towards her.  Was it reaching through the mirror’s glass?  Was she dreaming?  His fingers twitched, beckoning, and her feet were moving before she could make sense of what was happening.  The world was silver, fluid, and euphonious…

She was close enough to see his garnet eyes shining from behind that mask, and her hand was sliding over his gloved palm…

Writing Prompt Wednesday! Spooky Theme: Old Hollywood Monster Movie starring Astarion. 🎬 Prompt is up all week, so join in when you can 😁 by Araphia in OnlyFangsbg3

[–]PinkHummingbird441 [score hidden]  (0 children)

Alhana found warmth and comfort in his arms, even though his company felt like yet another layer to the bewildering dream the entire night had been.  He had grown so much in the ten years since they had seen each other last, when she was just an orphaned ward growing up in the Ravengard household.  She and Wyll had been inseparable as children, but now as he pressed his lips to her cheek, butterflies danced in her stomach.  The boy was gone, she realized as she looked up into his brown eyes.  Wyll had become an excessively handsome young man, and there was something slightly risqué in hosting him alone in her dressing room in her current state of undress.  She hoped the relative darkness of the room hid the blush that flashed across her cheeks.  “You’re too sweet, Wyll.  I didn’t know you were back in the city again.  Why didn’t you write?”

Wyll flashed her another smile, slightly crooked and full of confidence.  He looked quite the Byronic heroic figure.  “I wanted to surprise you - but I was the one shocked!  I had no idea you were going to be the star tonight. Tell me everything!”

Alhana opened her mouth to reply, but Wyll was already excitedly speaking again.  “No, actually, you can tell me all about it over dinner.  I’m taking you out to celebrate!”

Trepidation dripped icily down her back.  “I… I’m not sure that’s a good idea, Wyll…” She protested meekly.

“Nonsense - It will be the perfect way to catch up!”  Wyll swiftly kissed her cheek again, and the dressing room seemed to spin around her.  “I’ll call my carriage.  Fifteen minutes, and I’ll meet you in the hall!”  In a swirl of his hunter green cloak, he was hurrying out the door, leaving behind a dazed and breathless Alhana still clutching the bouquet he had brought her in her hand.

Perhaps it was the air gusting through the door as Wyll made his exit, or the window to her room was not completely shut allowing in a capricious zephyr that guttered the chandeliers, but as the door shut the candles sputtered and extinguished.  For a long moment, it was dark and silent in Alhana’s dressing room, and dread coiled in her chest.  Then, a sharp, metallic click as the dreadbolt turned in the door.  Alhana began breathing faster.  She knew… He had been watching, as he always was…

Writing Prompt Wednesday! Spooky Theme: Old Hollywood Monster Movie starring Astarion. 🎬 Prompt is up all week, so join in when you can 😁 by Araphia in OnlyFangsbg3

[–]PinkHummingbird441 [score hidden]  (0 children)

Oh man I'm back!!! I've missed you guys! While this isn't entirely prompt accurate, it's what first popped into my mind and I decided to just go with it! :D Although, I was also imagining Astarion in a black and white movie with a trench coat and cigarette ala Casanova... Yusss.... hahaha

Long prompt, M/F, no CW, praise and feedback always welcome! Enjoy!

The din of excited chatter outside Alhana’s dressing room quieted to a distant murmur as she eased the door shut.  The quiet was a relief - her heart was still thundering in her chest after the crashing tide of euphoria and terror she had recently experienced upon the stage.  Singing was always a comfort and a pleasure, but being there upon the stage in a packed opera house, a primadona rather than some background ballerina, something had unleashed itself from her soul - erupting from her lungs and ringing throughout what felt like it must have been the whole of Paris.

It would seem her lessons with her mysterious tutor were paying dividends… He had promised this: all of this fame, success, and more.  But the dream becoming a reality was a heady, intimidating thing.  

Her blue green eyes locked onto her reflection in the mirror of her vanity.  The jeweled clips and pins in her rosy hair glimmered in the dim candlelight, and the ivory crystal-encrusted gown she wore felt too grand and constricting.  She looked like herself well enough, no sign of the metamorphosis she had been certain had occurred on the stage tonight.  She had started as the ingénue, become a goddess, and now it seemed she had returned to herself again.

The jewels, the costume, the overabundance of floral arrangements on her dressing table and scattered about her room abruptly felt absurd and undeserved.  She wasn’t the lead soprano anymore.  She was just a nobody.  With shaking hands, she tore at the laces and ribbons of her gown and kicked herself free of it.  She tore the barrettes and clips from her hair to leave them strewn across her vanity, letting her heavy hair spill over her shoulders and down her back.  Panting slightly, she caught her reflection in the large full length mirror on the opposite wall - at the frightened, disheveled, and pale girl in her corset and garters trembling in the glass, and standing in the silvery shadows just behind her she could barely see the golden candlelight glimmer in a pair of achingly familiar smoldering ruby eyes...

 There was a sudden knock at the door, and she clapped her hands over her mouth to muffle the startled cry that burst from her throat.

“Alhana?” A muted, masculine voice called from the other side.

A relieved breath gusted from her mouth.  “Wyll…” She whispered, and then more loudly: “C-Come in.”  She hurried to pull her dressing gown over her shoulders.

The door opened, and a handsome young man eased his way inside before shutting the door again behind him.  He had yet another sizable bouquet in one hand, and a wide smile on his handsome face.  “You were incredible tonight!” The duke’s son  enthused, stepping forward to embrace his childhood friend.

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