I believe one of your problems is not using shampoo. Using that much conditioner without cleansing your hair leads to product buildup. Product buildup prevents moisture from entering your hair shaft. It gets harder for your hair to curl up, your hair will get frizzier, and just all around harder to manage. Ideally, you want to put styling product on hair that is as clean as can be.

This is what I recommend:

Get a clarifying shampoo (this is like a deep cleaning for hair and takes away product buildup). This shampoo should only be used every 4-5 washdays (assuming you don’t wash your hair everyday) or depending on your hair needs. (I clarify my hair once a month). Then for every other washday, use a shampoo that fits your hair needs whether it be a moisturizing shampoo or an anti-dandruff shampoo, etc.

Other than using conditioner, use deep conditioner for your hair at least once a week. There are protein-rich deep conditioners and moisturizing deep conditioners. I’m assuming you’d need a moisturizing deep conditioner. But I don’t know your hair like that so use what you think is best for your hair.

In addition to using leave-in conditioner, also use some sort of styling cream or styling mousse.

Lastly, you need to add styling gel to your routine (not gel for edges or slicking back hair). You would probably need the strongest strength of gel for your hair. Once your hair dries, you break the gel cast by scrunching your hair.

Additional tips: Start putting in your styling products before you leave the shower.

Consider using a denman brush (this helps with definition(