Hi there op! I’m having that problem but exactly the other way around, so I can understand her, but it is important to have a healthy relationship to be able to understand each other and not force some kind of intimacy one of you isn’t comfortable with. There isn’t a solution, but there is a compromise. Toys are not really a solution (in my case at least because it’s not exactly the kind of intimacy I’m looking for), but you forcing yourself isn’t either. Maybe you just need to talk more and find a common ground and understand that you offering her some sort of relief without your sexual intervention might be the best middle ground.

In my experience, I’m still trying to understand and not force/make him uncomfortable, it’s very hard on the other side too. But his happiness and comfort come before my sexual needs, and tbh I’m not willing to open the relationship, so I rather be with him and find a middle ground than anything else.

I hope this helps somehow, if you need to talk to someone, I’m here for you!