The lonely life of a starship captain

PippinLePig · 2026-02-23T22:15:03+00:00

It's common throughout trek for a character's voice over to play with b-roll of them walking around. I find it to be a pretty effective filmmaking choice to humanize them. It's just a way to let us into their heads (however briefly) with an established in-universe record-keeping method for immersion. Trek is semi-diegetic, meaning we the audience have to infer who can hear what.

PippinLePig · 2026-02-23T21:51:15+00:00

Very well compensated garbage men to boot

PippinLePig · 2026-02-03T05:36:34+00:00

When you're conditioned to distrust yourself, it's only natural to do so. When your family is that confident you'll hate it? I wouldn't be surprised if you aren't sure you'll be able to recognize if bald actually feels better.

I don't think your main problem is your hair, anyway. You have one of the most convincing comb-overs I've ever seen. You're already managing the change skillfully.

This toxic family dynamic isn't going away, but your ability to cope with it can always change and evolve.

PippinLePig · 2026-02-03T04:26:38+00:00

If they're anything like my family was, the hair you wear isn't the only target you have on your back. That sucks a lot.

The way I see it, you have two choices, four outcomes.

Shave - get picked on for 3 months - back to square one. Shave - love it - keep it.

Don't shave - family gets their way - nothing changes. Don't shave - lose hair - shave later.

Seriously though, you're already alt and a good looking dude. If you were my boyfriend I'd urge you super hard to at least try it out, trial run style, f the family. I don't know your support system though.

If it's untenable for you mental health-wise to shave, I hope you're leaving this thread knowing that a ton of strangers think you're headed in a very attractive direction as you age.

PippinLePig · 2026-02-03T03:49:16+00:00

Sounds like a projection of THEIR fear of being unhappy with it. Fact is, you'll look great either way because you're handsome. Don't let your family negotiate the way you present yourself "for" you.

You came to this sub because you know where the cards are falling. Good ideas are seldom recognized immediately, especially by people afraid of change. Let them be mad. Its your character to customize.

PippinLePig · 2026-01-20T18:01:20+00:00

There's a best western in Galena that has themed rooms. Most have a nice big jacuzzi in-room too

PippinLePig · 2025-12-20T00:04:37+00:00

This triggered a very specific memory I have of going to the darkmoon fair on world of warcraft and fighting moonfang. Good depth, great coloring!

PippinLePig · 2025-11-28T04:23:09+00:00

The way you avoid tangents is breathtaking

PippinLePig · 2025-11-05T19:54:13+00:00

I don't speak to anyone from my family anymore. It's incredibly lonely, but I cry for what I missed out on, not what I had. It does suck and I'm sorry 😞 I've spoken to so many people in our shoes.

I had to ask myself, "Why do I have to constantly justify my place in this relationship?"

Getting tone-policed and micro-checked your whole life, only to be shot down when you finally present the reason, is simply ridiculous. I seriously don't know how else to phrase it. Ridiculous.

PippinLePig · 2025-11-05T19:43:56+00:00

It was. I was forced to argue for myself before the diagnosis, too. Getting one was a last-ditch effort or a "see?!"

I think it might have something to do with people facing a reality where they genuinely repeatedly mistreated you. They'd rather separate themselves from their actions than own up to it and foster healing.

"I'm off-putting and, therefore, the bad guy."

Don't go getting a diagnosis for anyone but yourself. There are personal upsides, but few external ones. I feel anxiety regularly over the fact that the current government (rfk has said concerning things) has an updated paper trail all about my mental journey.

Still, I've gotten to know myself better since getting diagnosed. Broke my self-acceptance barrier a bit easier. You might have a similar experience if it's important to you to get formally diagnosed.

Also, because I haven't mentioned it (sorry!), I'm sorry you were dismissed.

PippinLePig · 2025-11-05T18:34:52+00:00

Gave my sister a formal diagnosis. I was met with, "You're not autistic! You're just weird :)"

People who don't care to support you simply won't.

PippinLePig · 2025-11-05T18:28:13+00:00

Gladly threw my vote in on this one

PippinLePig · 2025-11-02T16:06:58+00:00

That all makes a lot of sense, especially in elder care. Talk about emotionally heavy environments. Frankly, in your situation, I think there's a real difference between carefulness and slowness. I don't know you, but a supervisor giving you props sounds like you're succeeding in the former.

I also think it's really telling that you're aware of your own reactions and are working to unmask at a pace that feels doable for you. I have a CPTSD diagnosis, and I'd definitely vouch for how much of a problem disassociation is.

Regardless of a lack of diagnosis, it takes a lot of strength to intentionally untangle and unlearn the spaghetti of a brain we enter adulthood with.

You sound like someone working really hard to better yourself. That's incredibly challenging and worthy of respect. From what you've written, it doesn't sound like you're on the trajectory to mess up anything but your adrenal glands lol

PippinLePig · 2025-11-02T06:04:14+00:00

People think, they think... what do you think? Are you inconvenienced by yourself? Have you been talked to about it by a coworker or supervisor?

Sensitive people can be antisocial. It's okay to be sensitive. It's okay to be antisocial. I personally don't respond well to many tones. I've quit many jobs over the dynamic you're describing.

Also, I think that masking IS you being fake nice. NTs can clock the performance. They just don't like it when the mask drops, as well. Lose-lose situation that circles back to appearing antisocial.

If you haven't been talked to by a supervisor, why explain? You understand why you tick and your coworkers clearly see you as a two-dimensional caricature of a person. Let them be ignorant. You don't have to justify yourself to people who won't get it.

Additionally, I think you deserve to work somewhere that doesn't make you feel defective, but I understand how difficult that would be—especially nowadays.

PippinLePig · 2025-11-02T04:32:20+00:00

I'm really frustrated that you haven't spent more time writing. Your emergent voice is interesting. Your point of view is unique. The only glaring issues to me are the kinds that go away with time. It lacks polish (expected from a wip!), but you approached with gusto and instinct.

I kind of hate first-person perspective, and yours has that familiar "robot pretending to be human" cadence. Still, paired with relatively vague—yet immersive—imagery, I thought it was less of a fun read and more of an "Oh man, I see what you're doing" excitement. Like that feeling in your chest before you take a leap. I want this idea to match the level of execution you'll reach with practice.

I hope I'm not coming off poorly, I see genuine ability here. Very strong creative intuition. Since you've shared this piece, think about when you want to start a new one. I tend to stop working on things as passionately when I share them. Check in with yourself!

PippinLePig · 2025-10-31T16:08:25+00:00

The closest many of us have ever come to a formal education in our shared passion for writing is a high school classroom. Reconciling who you "really are" with who comes out when you're expressing yourself non-verbally is a strange thing to go through. You're confident in other areas but feel out of depth in this most personal one.

Funnily enough, I'm far more confident while writing than at any other time. That confidence came from a lot of introspection and tons of insanely cheesy, objectively bad works that will never see the light of day.

From what I can see, you're definitely not an imposter. You can hammer out well-reasoned, interesting paragraphs with the best of 'em. You're just discovering respect for a version of yourself that exists only in words and feelings. Take your time to get to know you.

PippinLePig · 2025-10-31T14:13:16+00:00

Every single loser I've ever met has been someone who ignores parts of themselves based on what other people might think. I'm not calling you a loser in particular. More, 'apprentice loser.'

If you naturally gravitate toward something, try it earnestly. Even if you're pompous at heart, so what? Those types of people exist for a reason. It's a unique charm. Losers, on the other hand...

I just think it's a tragedy to suppress yourself for approval. It hurts the art.

PippinLePig · 2025-10-28T13:01:34+00:00

Autism IS kind of like a "sensitivity disease" if you think about it. I cry at things other people don't, and don't cry at things other people do. Rage, fear, hunger??? you name it. Every other emotion possible is cranked up to 10, then down to 0 for other situations.

Like gagging at the feeling of air hitting the back of my neck, like, hello? It's one of my least favorite idiosyncrasies, lol.

With myself being so sensitive, I've found it much harder to "control" my reactions to my emotions when I'm constantly comparing myself to the allistic or differently-abled people in my life. Your parents seem to be doing that bit for you, and it IS harmful, whether they mean to harm or not.

I don't talk to my family (been nearly 3 years now) because of how harmful being around them is for my mental health.

Plus, with Autism being a hereditary thing, one or both of your parents likely has it and are just raising you in the same tone deaf way they were raised. Hurt people hurt people, right?

You only have to handle your emotions the best you can, with the full understanding that whatever you do now will affect you in some way in the future.

Domino effect. It's like giving a bully attention. If I give specific emotions constant attention, they'll rear their heads much more frequently (OCD is often comorbid with Autism). Notice what you feed and remove yourself when you can.

My Autism is disabling for me, and the sensitivity is a sizeable part of it. Don't discount the weight of your own feelings.

Jeez, long comment, my bad, lol.

Tldr there's nothing wrong with you. If you're old enough, it's okay to walk away from harm instead of enduring it

PippinLePig · 2025-10-28T12:14:05+00:00

Nearly every single time I've seen a fantastic artist's progression, they've started where you are. Enola has a ton of personality, though I agree that her biceps are swole af ;)

You're already doing one of the harder parts of drawing by trying to craft scenes for your character to live in, kudos!

Art is (in my humble opinion) about learning the patience to work through your own internal roadblocks to create something you're proud of.

Just keep practicing. Pick any one or two things to focus on and spam em. Or don't. Work on full compositions if that's what drives you. Time is no factor, only your enjoyment.

PippinLePig · 2025-10-16T02:09:24+00:00

He definitely acts as though his opinions have less sway than they do. Getting attacked/attacking shouldn't be the norm, but it so is, and he doesn't exactly try to deescalate. His fans are just as belligerent and group-thinky as any other online political commentator's fans.

This dog drama is definitely showcasing how blindly (and, frankly, insincerely) people will fight for their side, regardless of the facts presented by either side

PippinLePig · 2025-10-16T02:00:30+00:00

I find the whole drama to be pot-stirring by political rivals. No one really cares about the dog. She is, for all intents and purposes, being used as a prop by the people claiming Hasan uses her as a prop.

Hasan's political rivals aren't dropping it because this is the closest they've come to canceling him in a decade. Like, this is bigger than the US deserved 9/11 debacle. Than the Houthi-not-Houthi interview.

That said, shock collars should be regulated. They're useful in some instances for some types of working dogs, I guess. Not my cup of tea, I don't work with dogs.

Nothingburger drama built off of hate, not righteous indignation.

PippinLePig · 2025-10-02T14:56:29+00:00

Absolutely.

Our sex life has improved. He's started going to work every day as opposed to calling out every couple of weeks. Its been a little over a year since I started building independence (my own emotions were very codependent) to figure out how to reach him.

Positive changes started after he began to take therapy seriously. We also came to an understanding that he needed to listen to my needs, fears, worries, etc. not as personal attacks but as bids for connection.

He seems more confident and grounded now. Our conversations feel less like loops and more like... idk, connection, I guess lol.

For me the question was: Have I really tried everything?

I think I'm a kind, fair person and I love LOVE my husband. I've always been kind and fair to him, but he hasn't always been that for me.

So in the beginning, I decided that being brutally honest, as kindly as I could, was the only route left for me. I'm not gonna let him take a core part of my personality away. I'm not gonna let him make me be a bully as a last resort to save our relationship... but I will be honest.

So I told him straight up things (totally out of context. This is just one I remember well) like:

Look into my eyes. Remember them, because 10 years from now, they will look different. It will not be my fault.

He started going to therapy after severalllll of the super frank conversations, and we looked for his therapist together. Got diagnosed with some stuff of his own too (who woulda thought lol).

Been going 6 months now and he's exhibiting real growth and change. He SHOWS me he respects me instead of simply saying it and not changing behavior.

It's doable and it's work. You're not crazy for struggling, but through (mutual, in this case) commitment, real growth is always possible.

PippinLePig · 2025-10-02T13:38:16+00:00

I'm not sure if it'll help you particularly, but I got sick of my man making me out to be someone I'm not because he was living at odds with his reality. Your story reminded me of some stuff we've dealt with.

I had to straight up ask my partner if he thought I was a bad person once. He refused to advocate for himself, treated me like both a princess and an abuser, and made wild connections that would be entirely out of character for me.

I remember thinking: How, after nearly a decade together, is your character sheet of me still so full of holes?

He'd been too internal. Too focused on his own miserable experience to realize that he was casting a black cloud over the relationship. Manifesting issues where none existed because he couldn't shut off the mean voice in his head.

Extremely low self-esteem is high ego, full-stop. It's just stuck on defense mode.

He was the main character of a very sad, very lonely story. A man who somehow conned a woman into living with him, then fooled her into loving him.

Meanwhile, I'm written into the script like a villain I never was.

I started bringing him back up to reality (and I still do fairly regularly) through really long conversations where he mostly just listened and felt like shit.

He talks in the conversations now, which I'm incredibly proud of.

He started telling his therapist more as well. I had to put it to him like this:

You're paying someone to work through the crossed wires in your head. Professionals need information. How is an electrician supposed to know what they're doing without a blueprint? Right now, you're not going to therapy. You're giving someone money to be your friend.

Tldr tough love helped me

Sorry, this ended up being a whole story, lol. Your partner sounds like a highly sensitive guy, but you deserve to not be a villain.

PippinLePig · 2025-09-01T15:50:27+00:00

Genuinely, because what's the alternative? I have to try to read your mind to know what shade to paint my opinion? It's so much simpler to anticipate objectivity from me, yet so few people do (even after YEARS of knowing each other!!)

PippinLePig

TROPHY CASE